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KINDNESS

Don’t go back you’re not going that way 🦋

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

Trauma destroys the fabric of time. In normal time you move from one moment to the next, sunrise to sunset, birth to death.

Subsequently trauma, you may move in circles, find yourself being sucked back into an eddy, or bouncing like a rubber ball from now, to then, to back again. …

In the traumatic universe the basic laws of matter are suspended: ceiling fans can be helicopters, car exhausts can be mustard gas.”
― David J. Morris

Flashbacks are our memories of traumatic life events. They can occur in several different forms – like sounds, smells, pictures, bodily sensations, numbness, or a lack of normal physical sensations. Often, they’re accompanied by anxiety or panic, where the person feels they’re trapped and unable to escape.

Flashbacks can occur in dreams, like nightmares and night terrors. They can interrupt our sleep, where we startle suddenly. And often we’ll feel panicky, and wake up in a sweat.

And because all the sensations are so frightening and intense – but also unrelated to what’s happening right now – the person thinks ‘they’ve lost it and they fear they’re going crazy.   

Suppressing these symptoms can be very difficult.

But there are different strategies that you can use to help you. They include:

When you start to experience the intense and scary symptoms, tell yourself ‘this is familiar’, and ‘you’re having a flashback.

Advise yourself that ‘this will ease, and it is only temporary. The feelings will subside, and you will feel normal again.

Tell yourself the intense feelings are just re-experienced memories. The trauma’s in the past. You have survived the worst already.

Allow yourself to experience all the negative emotions. The anxiety, the terror, the panic, and the rage. Don’t try to fight them off, or to repress and silence them. Doing that will only hamper, and slow down, the healing process.

And it’s right for you to honor all the anguish and the pain. The suffering was intense, and it deserves to be acknowledged.

Reorient yourself, so you are grounded in the present.

Breathe in slowly and deeply … then exhale slowly and deeply.

Allow the intense feelings to swell, then dissipate.

Allow a sense of peace and calm to gradually replace the terror, faintness, panic, shakiness and dizziness.

Keep your focus on this room, and what you notice all around you. Use each of your five sense. What can you see, hear, feel, touch, smell?

For example, what does it feel like to be sitting in this chair? What can you smell? What different sounds can you hear? Birds chirping? Children playing? Cars passing by? A police siren sounding? A fridge or freezer buzzing?

Speak to your inner child – who’s feeling terrified. Reassure them that they’re safe and are going to be OK.

Remind them that they’re strong, that they’re fierce and capable.

Remind them ‘they survived it, and are moving on with life’.

By KINDNESS WISDOM

Life is like a bunch of roses. Some sparkle like raindrops. Some fade when there's no sun. Some just fade away in time. Some dance in many colors. Some drop with hanging wings. Some make you fall in love. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Life you can be sure of, you will not get out ALIVE.(sorry about that)

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