Tag Archives: Wise

Lust, Sin vs Love 🕊

Psychology of Love

Do You Know the Difference?

How to tell the difference between love and lust.

I’ve seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people.


Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate.

Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the same area lights up when an addict gets a fix of cocaine as when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction. Also in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection–you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be–rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all.

Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy–it often dissipates when the “real person” surfaces.

It’s the stage of wearing rose colored glasses when he or she “can do no wrong.”

Being in love doesn’t exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love.

However, real love, not based on idealisation or projection, requires time to get to know each other.

Here are some signs to watch for to differentiate pure lust from love.


You’re focused on a person’s looks and body.

You’re interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.

You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
You are lovers, but not friends.


You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy.
He or she motivates you to be a better person.
You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.
Another challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay centred and listen to your gut in the early stages of being with someone. This isn’t easy in the midst of hormones surging, but it’s essential to make healthy relationship decisions. Here are some tips to help you keep your presence of mind when you’re attracted to someone. This needn’t pull the plug on passion, but it’ll make you more aware, so you don’t go looking for trouble.


Watch for:

1. A little voice in your gut says “danger” or “beware.”

2. You have a sense of malaise, discomfort, or feeling drained after you’re together.

3. Your attraction feels destructive or dark.

4. You’re uncomfortable with how this person is treating you, but you’re afraid that if you mention it, you’ll push him or her away.

Over the years, I’ve spoken at women’s prisons and domestic violence centres. My talk, “How Listening to Your Gut Can Prevent Domestic Violence,” focuses on showing women how to identify and act on their inner voice. The gut senses a potential for kindness and violence. Many women who’d been in abusive relationships admitted, “My gut initially told me something was wrong–but I ignored it.” The pattern was consistent. They’d say, “I’d meet a man. At first, he’d be charming, sexy, sweep me off my feet. The electricity between us was amazing. I’d write off the voice in my gut that said ‘you better watch out’ as fear of getting involved. When later the abuse began, I was already hooked.” Some gut instincts though, are anything but subtle. On a first date, one woman landed in the hospital with an IV, retching from”psychosomatic” abdominal pain. But did that stop her from seeing the guy? No. From these women, we gain a real-world lesson: no matter how irresistibly attractive someone appears, close attention to your gut will enable you to see beneath exteriors.

It’s so much nicer to be involved with someone your gut likes. Then you’re not always guarding against a basic suspicion or incompatibility. You must also give yourself permission to listen to your gut when it says, “This person is healthy for you. You are going to make each other happy.” To be happy, take a risk, but also pay attention to the warning signs I presented. This allows you to go for the fulfilling relationships you deserve wisely.

This series of Psychology Of Sex sets out the difference of Love, Sex, Sin, versus Porn.

How on earth do two people in love have a successful union for life when growing up without understanding a lifetime commitment to each other without the primary information



Sin, today folk are trying to understand the difference between Love and Sex and why we have become indoctrinated with the Belief to be in love × sex = Sin😓 read on 🤗

Lust is one of the seven deadly sins or capital sins, whichever you prefer. But I don’t think too many of us in secular or religious spaces really pay attention to lust. We talk about sex, and we talk about sexual attraction; we talk about desire, and we talk about constraint. But we do not talk about lust even when we have entire industries built around this human weakness; we ignore that there are deep individual struggles that many faces that are a matter of not biological or psychological weakness but rather a spiritual one – lust.
But what is lust? Before defining it, it is worth it to know what it isn’t. Lust isn’t sexuality or the acceptance of humans as sexual beings. And lust isn’t the sexual attraction we experience when we desire someone. There is a certain stance among particular (religious) groups that the acceptance of sexuality in humans or the willingness to embrace that sexuality is somehow an offense against God and people. I differ as someone who tries to love both God and people, in all my weakness. Even the lay definition of lust describes it as a “very strong sexual desire” or the like. I disagree on the basis that desire, even strong desire is not naturally bad. Lust is an overwhelming desire for a human being such that the human is transformed from a subject to an object that is solely meant to give one pleasure.
We all lust. And that is the tragic truth. So much of our sexual desires – which are in and of themselves not bad – get transformed into an unhealthy craving for another’s individual body. So much so that sometimes we begin to see that human being as only their body. And not only do we begin to see the person as only their body, we see that body as something that is meant to satisfy our desire. Even when we may care for the person, our desire takes precedence over their being. But perhaps most dangerously in our lust for other people, we fail to see them as beings without a soul, a heart, a mind. We fail to see them for all they are.
Of the many issues I have with the porn industry as a whole which is so casual in its treatment of people as subjects, in the gaze and in the state in which many people view porn, they fail to see the person as a person. The viewer watches for the purpose of personal satisfaction and in so doing the person becomes the object by which they get their personal satisfaction. What that person is outside of that, whether that person feels and what they feel outside of that instance, ceases to matter. Indeed, I have lots of theories about how porn affects sexuality including one that proposes it actually diminishes sex between people in real life. Still, the one that makes me saddest is the negation of the entire humanity of the persons being gazed at.
Of course the way the individual lusts and seeks pleasure when viewing something exterior is very different from a real, live human being in front of them. Or perhaps not in front of them but a person that exists in their world, and oftentimes in their imagination. They may or may not interact with the person; they may even be in a relationship with the person – romantic or otherwise. And they may even seek to love them; they may even actually love them. But lust is not love, which is of course stating the obvious. But it is an obvious truth that needs to be stated.
The difference between love and lust is what counts so much in expressing authentic sexuality and emotions between persons. Lust seeks the pleasure of self, while love puts the pleasure of the other ahead of one’s self. Lust views the human at the moment as an object; in love, the human is always a subject and is always more than what they are At that moment. Lust ultimately is selfish, while love is selfless. There is no fine line between the two, but rather a bold one. And the soul, the heart, and the mind always know the difference.
When we lust after someone we simply cannot love them the way we often want to; the way they deserve to be loved. And it is already hard enough to love human beings in our human weakness. Lust, I believe, like most deadly sins, also chips away at our own humanity. How can it not? The ways in which we view others become the measurements we use for ourselves – we can and do objectify ourselves.
I propose then that we be more mindful of lust; that we keep ourselves more aware of making that leap from desire, from sexual attraction, to this deadly thing we call lust – this thing that reduces our humanness. At any and all times, but most especially when it is love that we are ultimately trying to cultivate.



“TWO HEARTS AND MINDS!” a poem 01/11/2019 (Friday)

GOD or SEX or “Something” (pause) has tricked-us to be “sexual!”
Without-that, Baby-Sweetie-Cakes – we-(might)-be-too-in-tellectual!

My-attraction-to-you is paramount – in-our-fine – relationship,
But-sexuality (whatever-that-is) guides me – to your hip!

However, when-all-(things)-are-considered -perhaps-(it’s)-obvious-to-see,
That TOUCH is much more central – that “CONTACT-is-The-Key!”

And, maybe, hugs and kisses – are-the-real- sexuality –
Although endorphins and orgasms – are JUST ALL RIGHT WITH ME!

None-the-less, if-ever IT did, if-ever-it-came-to-be,
That-we-lost-that-interest – in-skin-and-fluids, I’d-(still)-like-you-“on-my-knee,”

To touch and cuddle – squish and smooch -and-giggle: “Tee-hee-hee!”
At THAT POINT, hugs & smells & mem-ories – (can)-still-maintain-our-“chi!”

Love in “the bush,” with stars to see,
There’s the Life – for a MAN LIKE ME;
2 Hearts as ONE, and 2 Minds too;
I-LOVE-LONG, -WARM-CUDDLES – a-whole-lot – with- Y O U! 🙂

fin ❤

“The Blue Boy!” by Thomas Gainsborough! :)

“IF YOU GET TO HAVE ONE!” a poem January 9, 2019 (Wednesday)

If you get – to have a hissy fit, I WANT ONE too,
Or two! or three – ’cause I think-that-you!
Get-to-have all the fun, ’cause you’re such-a “girl!”

Well, I wanna be one of those too – (pause) at least give it a whirl,
And – YOU? Do-you-maybe-wanna be a boy? You-think that’s so fun?
Well! It IS – AND isn’t, Sweetie! e.g.: As-a-girl-you-get-to-be-called-“Hon!”


Girls-just-wanna-have-fun! Boys-can-get-so-“blue!!”

fin ❤

“The Blue Boy!” by Thomas Gainsborough! 🙂

Black Desire

“REMISSION!” a poem, dedicated to: Rachel Taylor, singer/songwriter extraordinaire! a.k.a.: “One Heart!” 11/26/18 – Monday

It’s a roller-coaster-ride, this game of life;

It’ll rock ya – and “real” ya, but, in-the morning light,

When you finally-reach (pause) The Break of Day,

And-you’re-groggy – and dreamy, I-hope you’ll say:

“I can do another! Just gotta-‘wake-up,’

I-know-I’m-in-remission!” [Ask-your-coffee-cup]

“Is it worth-the-effort – to keep on going!”

“Yes!-you’re-rich-and-dark (pause) and-seeds,* we’re-sowing,

And-we’ll-inspire – The-World – to-make the FLIP,

And, it’s true – each-one-of-us – may-be-just-a-blip,

On The Screen of Life, that seems so immense,

But each-blip-can-inspire – other blips off The Fence,

Of despair and lethargic – machination,

LOVE is contagious! And each generation,

Fights-for-its-life – to offer (all) the-rest

A chance to shine, despite any test!

So, I’m hanging on – with Rachel in the seat,

Of this roller coaster! She’s next to me,

And, together-we-can-turn – this bloody-life-around,

And discover One Heart! – where remission is found! 🙂

fin ❤

* – coffee (and otherwise!)

BBC – Future – Why it pays to declutter your digital life



“YOUR MIND!” a poem a.k.a.: “Your Perfection IS Unique!” Sunday: Jan. 6, 2019

IF your mind didn’t-work, so-very-fast, I’m-afraid -that-your-breasts-might-be-smaller!
IF you couldn’t-talk-non-stop-for-hours-and-hours, would-your-wet-p – – – – – still-make me holler,
Quite as loud – when my p – – – – finds -nice-room-in-there?
And- IF-you-weren’t-(like-me)-such-“a-drama-queen,” would the color of your hair,
Lose-(its)-gorgeous-blonde-shade? Why, it-might-then – be RED,
And, then, with your temper, you-might throw-me from bed,
Onto The Floor – and – into tomorrow,
And-then I’d-be-filled with-so-very-much-sorrow!
Change-that-or-change-this? NO! I don’t think-a-so,
‘Cause YOU’RE PERFECT right now – Don’t-change-even that bow! 🙂 – or-beau!

fin ❤

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” I M POSSIBILITIES – I AM POSSIBILITIES – YES, YOU ARE!” a poem a.k.a.: “Breaking Free: Of Certainty – Of Poetry – Of The Future – Of Medicine – Of Maid Service – Of The Need(?) Of Needs, Of Anything – And Everything!” (and dates and days of the week!) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ , _ _ _ _ : _ _ _ _ _ _!! [Unless you don’t want to! But I DO – I think! What do YOU think?!]
L. O. L. 🙂 – I Love You! “The possibility of impossibility is yours, but only IF YOU WISH!” The Mystic Poet “Oh! And – Why Are You Still Intent Upon Debating ME!! when ME don’t even exist!”

(1) DNA strands – can be like the bars of a jail;
(2) GRAVITY! can-return-arrows (to Earth) to impale;
(3) (The) PHYSICAL! (of-body-&-mind) (which) can convince us – of a Doctor’s need;
(4) THE LAWS OF NATURE can TRULY impede!
[Given: 1, 2, 3, 4]: Can anyone? get out ALIVE from here?
Aren’t these “natural laws” IMPOSED by an “unnatural mind?”
And – OK!? “nothing’s impossible” – with “GOD,” who will BIND,
Us – to “reality,” UNLESS – we lose him (or her) TOO!
Screw GOD; screw Nature! From HERE – we’ll-make-a-break: Just us two!? [justice!?]
But HOW? When you want ME – to heal YOU – with this hand?
When – in the debate of this life – we must BOTH understand,
That REALITY! & Nature! & “GOD” are concept-ual,
Things are SO SOLID – unless WE – change the percept-ual!
And HOW CAN WE DO THAT? unless-we-DROP-(1)-and-(2)**
And CONCLUDE – that heredity WILL NOT affect you,
And accept – that levitation – to-The Highest Peak,***
With conditions (like asthma) needing oxygen and a pill,
For Nature AND ALL CONCEPTS – are design-ED to kill!
Can transcending HERE – show that life IS eternal?
Can-I-ever-heal – YOU – when-in-(Y)OUR(?) mind(s)-is-an-infernal,
HELL – of restrictions – THAT “WE” RECITE EVERY DAY!?
(1)-(2)-(3)-(4)-and-our-declarations: Don’t-they-just-all-get-in-the-way?
To-fortify “THE TRUTHS!?” (which are no truths at all) that we do declare,
How can we even break FREE from HERE – when little poems – cause such fear!?
For THE WORDS OF THE POEMS – and IDEAS can confine,
When the PAST IS the PRESENT – and The Now can be mine,
Or YOURS and/or OURS – Can we burn-the-dross-away?
To EMERGE, FREE and “perfect,” at the fine break of day?

So-what’re-we-saying-(today?): in this-poetic-so-and-so?

fin ❤

AFFIRM! Yes, affirm (that) you-can-do(have)-it ALL – – – Send-back that invitation – to The Smug Doubter’s Ball! – – – Dance YOUR OWN RAIN DANCE; dance it, right here! – – – And form rain-drops-that-are-YOU, (pause) drops without peer! – – – Heal YOURSELF – oh, Physician! just see, – – – That NO HEALING IS (even) NEEDED! Especially-not-(healing)-from-“ME!” – – – Take this “my” hand! All hands, they’re-ALL YOURS! – – – Your hand – it-is my hand – and your hand – it-is SIR’s! Q. E. D. L. O. L. L. S. M. F. T. M. I. C. K. E. Y. M. O. U. S. E.
* – The I AM UR the IM
** – AND (3) and (4) and any other numbers we can imagine?!
*** – or non-peak!
**** – i.e.: “Naughty!!” another concept, defined and limiting – SO WHY USE THE TERM AT ALL. Can’t we excise restrictive terms from our so-called “vocabulary,” which itself is a confining, conceptual set of perceptions that have been handed to us all – by our APPARENT past, by our apparent ancestors, by our apparent traditions (that we seem to hold SO DEAR) and – well, can’t we just say: “Bye to all these by’s!” and NOT move on!! L. O. L. ❤

Only in Australia 😂😅😓


Ok so 53818 of you CLAIM to be Aussies, well we now know each of us is just acting and by god we are doing a good job of it! Keep up the good work my fellow ‘Aussies’.

Also don’t forget to join the BACK TO BASICS EVENT starting in the morning kick some fat to the curb!!!

Watch “How To Start an Online Course” on YouTube

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” – Jane Austen. Women Reading – Carl von Steuben (1788–1856)

New Device Triples Phone Performance and Extends Battery Life


Home Based Business Skills

Make it one of your goals to develop a dynamic, charismatic personality. Such a quality is something each one of us has the potential to develop, but few do. President Kennedy was a sickly youth but rose above his physical problems to be the most charismatic and exciting political figure in the history of the United States. Start small. Take a Dale Carnegie course on public speaking. Go to the library where you will find books on the fine art of conversation and personal grooming. Learn three clean and witty jokes and get in the habit of socialising. You will have fun and build a lasting network of friends and associates.
On the subject of conversation, a Chinese proverb states as follows: “a single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books.” Seek out the wise and learn from them. They are just waiting for that small spark of interest to tell you all that you need to know.
Lao-Tzu prized three essential qualities for a person of greatness: “the first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle, and you can be bold; be frugal, and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others, and you can become a leader among men.”
“When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take – choose the bolder,” said W. J. Slim. There is no substitute for courage, and though the chance of stubbing your toe increases the more you walk, it is always better than going nowhere by standing still. Take chances, take smart risks, and you will meet with success beyond your dreams.

Become your spouse’s number one supporter, the one who is always there supporting and fueling hopes and dreams. Develop together and march confidently through the world as an army of two.

Think of three people who can provide you with inspiration, motivation and support for your goals and aspirations. Plan to meet with each one of them over the next few weeks. Listen enthusiastically to them and brainstorm with them. Map out a strategy and take their wise counsel.

Make every one of your days a true masterpiece. Remember the old saying: “it’s not who you think you are that holds you back but what you think you’re not.”

Just as valuable energy is wasted by spending time on activities that are of no value, energy can be wasted on loose thinking. Imagine that your mind has an energy measure of 1000 watts at its disposal. Each time your mind wanders off the project at hand, to a nagging worry, to all the things to do by the end of the day, 100 watts is lost. Quite soon the entire energy supply is gone. This is the nature of the mind. Fail to discipline it, and your energy levels will be depleted, and your accomplishments will be minimal. Control it, and you will see great things happening. You will feel more powerful and achieve difficult tasks with ease. The 19th-century philosopher Henri Frederic Amiel summed it up nicely: “for purposes of action, nothing is more useful than narrowness of thought combined with the energy of will.”

It has been rightly said that “you sow an action, you reap a habit. You sow a habit; you reap a character. You sow a character; you reap a destiny.” The essence of a person is his character – make yours unique, unblemished and strong. Do not say you will do anything unless you will indeed do it. Speak the truth and measure your words wisely. Be humble, straightforward and peaceful.

Remember the overriding law of nature: positive overcomes the negative.