Tag Archives: Lost

~ LETTER TO MY HUSBAND โคโคโค~ we are bilateral not unilaterally challenged ~

I remember what life was before my Husband found me

Just a shadow of a WOMEN that felt nothing, nothing at all, just material things I didn’t treasure

Thank you for the inclusion in your life and the suffering you endured

We were empty vessels in the ocean of lost dreams going forwards and backwards without a rudder

No rudder in life is the recipe for the candles flame to diminish your soul.

Feeling as though you are slowly drowning

Then it came to pass

In a flicker of an eye I stopped and watched him

Then he just disappeared

Gone like a blink of an eye and a whisper of a candle smoldering in the dark, heart beating trying to calm me inside, PUFF!!

My thoughts were of him every moment in my heart and dreams haunting my soul

THEN

My husband found me flying around the APPLE BLOSSOM Orchard

A little Fairy behold

SILVER wings with diamonds twinkling and he caught me, cut off my wings and took me HOME

My HUSBAND is beautiful inside and out he loves me cause he knows exactly how to handle me

~ we are bilateral not unilaterally challenged ~

  • Letter to my Husband ~
    I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are and I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you. You are a clyderscope of many roads and colours like a magical quilt put together from splinters of shiny glided … Read More
  • Letter to my Husband ~
    I may not be able to tell you every day but I need you to know that you are my world. That day I first saw you from the corner of my eye I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open choosing to take all in my stride every step along the … Read More
  • Letter to my Husband ~
    Letter to my Husband https://youtu.be/jGJliLJTMcI
  • Letter to my Husband ~
    Letter to my Husband
  • Letter to my husband ~ how many ways
    Letter to my husband ยฉ๏ธ My husband I love everything you are I love you so I love you cause you are lovely I love you cause you spoil me I love you cause you read to me I love you cause you giggle with me I love you cause you are kind I love … Read More
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MAD MANS JOURNAL๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ•ต

14 II. trying to suppress, those so-called evil emotions or conditions, that, basically, everyone & everything seems to abhor and wish to destroy. It’s the tiniest bit of hope at the bottom of Pandora’s Box, but IT IS HOPE . . . the thing is, is it “false hope,” i.e.: just myself – teasing myself . . . or, is any form of hope real or true(?) You just can not live to awaken; you must live to live . . . & again this brings things full circle . . . I AM manifest (it appears); thus, AM I not here to, as Alan Watts said, USE ENERGY JOYFULLY(?) . . . in other words, apply my “talents” . . . develop and grow, but wish no Ulterior Motive. “Find Your Joy:” . . . it’s a seemingly trite, simplistic phrase, but, if you can find some real joy & apply it truly; be that joy . . . that seems, really, to be the only truly spiritual mode of living, but I can’t do it to get better . . . ain’t my writing in this little house just writing to get better . . . or to get out or get Away . . . I think so . . . this position must drop, but (I) can not drop it & think THAT is but another strategy, another game. WHAT A COSMIC JOKE. Like the sayings go: do not the great, the realized sages . . . when they suddenly find themselves in a position to do anything, they know everything’s fine, and they don’t have to do anything. WHAT’S REALLY JOYFUL HAS JUST GOT TO BE SOMETHING THAT IS S U P E R EASY, doesn’t it(?) I don’t think I’ve ever found anything that’s super easy . . . I found some things that others say I’m good at . . . but none of them are super easy . . . Q(uestion): Can I look for something that’s super easy? . . . but isn’t that Doing again . . . so I guess, it’s just got to occur to you . . . or even more simply, just fall in your lap . . . Even the subtlest effort is doing!! Including this writing too, isn’t that true? Wow, this is frustrating . . . is it also useless?

Abuse,Author,BLOGG,BROKEN SOUL,EDITOR,FORGIVENESS,Fragile,Freedom,FUTURE,Give up,HARMONY,Heathly Living,Honest,Humanity,JFASTEREF,KINDNESS,Lost,Suicide,fairytails,

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

โ€œIt is never too late to be what you might have been.โ€

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DIARY OF A MADMAN ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

  • Friday . . . Why should you and I be attracted to (do) lucid dreams or (do) OBE s (Out-of-Body-Experiences)? reason(s): to escape this reality; to explore OR (because) it seems like a better or superior position. IF God – Unmanifest Divinity (my term – Oh, I’m so proud!!) dreams, then God pushes into a —— IT dreams, to manifest as manifest divinity – if God IS not awake in the dream, God experiences separateness . . . When “God awakes (Satori or Cosmic Consciousness), it’s quite a thing, BUT, while asleep in ITS dream(s), God will experience it ALL and ALL of it is acceptable experience, somehow. Depression, Psychosis, Bar-hopping, Siddhi powers, Drug-induced hypnosis, hurting, helping, ALL ARE EQUAL. & equally terrible, in a sense, IF it causes God to be caught up, out-of-control, not lucid because the only seeming way to have equanimity is to be TRULY AWAKE, knowing that you are playing with yourself [This is L(ee)la, God’s play] – joyful play (all of it) is fine in a sense, whether it is dying in a torture chamber or becoming King of the World . . . but one (particular) form of play is NOT inherently superior or to be sought after* (* – & is that form of play “sleep acting?” or are all forms of play of real value – maybe so!) You just PLAY, and, when you want to stop, you hopefully can. IF you get caught in any form or circumstance – It is Hell (Yet that too, somehow, is an acceptable thing – But ONLY in the big picture – NOT to the “person” in Hell.

โ€œEXPECTATIONS TOO!โ€Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  • “Diary of a Madman,” a.k.a.: “The Contented Heart!” page 10.
    1. Loving self = finding your joy . . . I’ve never really consistently implemented that process. Now, I am almost so, depressed, suicidal! Q(uestion): (Is there) Any chance to return to accomplish something (i.e.: loving self) that was seemingly impossible to do even in my youth (Maybe I am & have been doing it as a recluse) Direction = love to love self . . . (therefore) must discover self [Q: Who are you? . . . On the most fundamental level . . . I had no basic idea then (for last 60 years) . . . how can I have any idea now? with what seems to be totally inadequate means? * You just need an awareness adjustment, but you can not make the adjustment. KNOW THYSELF – Intellectually I believe fundamentally I am God . . . but, as manifest Divinity, what is truly authentic about me? What am I trul(l)y most magnetized to ? Maybe I don’t need to know and can’t really anyway. IF there is any chance for the unconscious to agree to begin energy delivery again . . . Energy delivery is a model only – unlimited energy may be the reality. Could be where energy begins & then activities are resumed. (A(nswer) #1: It’s the wrong question. Why is there need to do anything when nothing’s wrong) If the same patterns of this life are returned to (the ones that got the imaginary “tap” turned off/diminished in the first place), then the Unconscious knows that I still don’t know &/or love myself truly . . . How true on some level – Q: Is it too late to do anything now – A: Probably, but I really don’t know – Anything’s possible, BUT the path is perilous – What is the ratio of effort required to reward = the
    Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚
  • Watch “One Is The Loneliest Number – Three Dog Night (Lyrics)” on YouTube
    https://youtu.be/d5ab8BOu4L
  • FOND DESIRES! ๐Ÿ’œ
    “FIRE!” a poem, for May 7th, Moon-DAY – We DON’T need to-talk-about fires; Come-on, Honey, (let’s-talk-’bout) FOND DESIRES! Let’s talk-of those instead, OK? I don’t care ’bout no fires today! Fires-are-not-real, unless in my house; Fires are a dream, and I-am-[just]-a-MOUSE! A mouse can’t put out no fires, except when he p – – s, And brings the populations – To their bloody knees! Fires – they are, Just in my dreams, And p – – – p – – – it-doth-come, In-fluorescent-streams: I will p – – – the fires, p – – – them out, ‘Cause I just wanna – kiss and pout, SO – No-talk-of-fires! HONEY-let-me-know, IF – inside-your-walls-I-can-go. THERE I S FIRE, THE KIND I LIKE, TO STOKE MY FURNACE – AND SPARK THE “MIC!” Come-on, Honey; let fire bans, Be-known-ONLY – to-the-“also rans!” Let’s forget about them fire threats, AND MAKE OUR FIRE – as-The-Sun-sets, And, when it rises, across the way, LET’S MAKE FIRE – THROUGHOUT THE DAY! fin. <3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM
  • THE CONTENTED HEART!ย  A die-or-y-or-live-ry!?ย  ๐Ÿ™‚ – page 13, a lucky page? DIARY OF A MAD MAN๐Ÿ•ต
    (page) 13 I. Alan Watts – the Spiritual Journey as Self – says we are in Kali Yuga! (A rather difficult Hindu division of time) & think(s) “the game” is worth playing! Mom & Dad have The Unconscious objective: “Let’s All Keep the Game going as long as possible” {- & so do I, don’t I?!} – As Long as possible is a reasonable thing UNTIL You (like me) Start to even imagine it’s a game. {Maybe the game’s worth playing, even so; I don’t know.} Then, keeping the game going is really, really a process of doing & any advantage of continuing (except to awaken) may be lost . . . & IF you are not TRULY in SOME process of awakening, you are truly lost (because your health, wealth & most importantly peace of mind are out the window). Thus, you are in the process of unraveling – Unraveling is where I think I’m at. Q(uestion) I(ssue): Is there any evidence to the contrary? . . . I find none. Does trying to explain this to those who are totally (un)consciously keeping the game going (thinking THAT is actually living) of ANY value? I think not. To plant this seed in anyone who has nothing really there to allow the seed to grow is, in some way, (well, it) seems very very cruel. I think, perhaps, the seed has been planted in me . . . Is there any soil I have to sprout the seed (?) IF there is soil, awakening could begin; if no soil, forget it. {Maybe there’s always some soil or capacity.} Just writing down these things which are based on the impressions of others (like Alan Watts) does not mean necessarily that I have soil. It could . . . that would be the only hope I really have left in this life, but I don’t think I have soil . . . but I don’t know. All I can do is WISH I have any soil (or capacity). Is it just wishful thinking to think there is soil . . since I am just writing in circles, I’m afraid it’s just wishful thinking. I am so sad now – is sadness some evidence of soil? I just wish to end this pain & frustration, but, perhaps, if there is even a bit of awakening going on, the evidence might be the very pain & frustration I am . . . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH1icLURgbY Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚
  • Mad Mans Diary ๐Ÿ•ต
    (15) ANY experience in a conditional realm is suffering, which can lead one to escape by seeking GOD-liners (i.e.: Non-duality), which may be nothing more than being [trapped, dreaming] a rock, dreaming about duality, motivated to return to the realms of suffering, Q E D by dreaming about evolution, from mineral to vegetable to animal, where you finally reach the level of existence where you, again, begin to desire transcendence, or attaining the state of non-duality, A DREAMING ROCK. EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE; everything is awesome, when you’re living in a dream. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StTqXEQ2l-Y Which is the superior position? A happy idiot or a miserable ____? A short poem about Non-duality (nothing) in 6 lines of poetry . . . I met her in a flower, before the Cup, [did bloom] So we were pressed together, inside our little room, The flower smelled of lotus, & she, of cherry wine, I knew that in a moment, upon her flesh I’d dine, She whispered, that she loved me, and nibbled on my ear, When you’re wrapped inside a lotus, there’s nothing that you fear. A short poem, entitled: DUALITY, Something – It’s a follow-up, but they’re really the same poem – They’re the same, but separate too! When you’re wrapped within a flower, & it’s where you want to be, The lips of your condition, whisper, MON CHERI, Yet brush of breath caresses, touching petals still & Inception, very gentle x 2, awakens every will Yet, what sadness pain will offer? Who can really say? BUT, Our process, born of seeking, it is the sacred way. When suffering meets the lotus x 2 , with a joyful song x 2 Nothing’s lost, & nothing’s gained; things just get alone * 3/18/2015: A [Poem to the Beloved (that’s yours): IF, in the next moment, I just faint, dead away, will you understand? OK?] Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • DIARY OF A MAD MAN๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด
    The Contented Heart! page 31 – I am referencing a Catholic Mystic named Bernadette Roberts; she passed away last year, in her mid-80s. I had the opportunity to attend a seminar weekend with her years ago, and she was very nice! ๐Ÿ™‚ – She wrote several books, which I would not recommend to most people, … Read More
  • MAD MAN’S DIARY”The Contented Heart!” p. 35 (with a little of p. 36 tossed in as an appetizer!)๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด
    HIS PAGE, page 35, is A BLIP, returning for a moment to Bernadette's** Article: (Whether Jesus lived or not is another Question (&) Isn't it irrelevant?*) (35) Logos: Sole-y God . . . i.e.: un-manifest divinity Jesus: distinct, human person Christ: The eternal one-ness of God and MAN: God's own human nature. Bernadette believes Jesus … Read More
  • Diary of a Mad Man! ๐Ÿ•ด
    iscussing and considering this stuff can only do so much because the natural way of living is BEYOND ANALYSIS – it has to BE: i.e.: just naturally existent. It can't be contrived, faked, attempted . . . it's just got to be the truly natural "way of doing business." It's really communism, done without any … Read More
  • DIARY OF A MAD MAN โ˜ปโ˜ปโ˜ป
    BLACK MAGIC – anything seemingly mysterious or miraculous . . . A POEM ENTITLED: "Cause – Effect – Fate – Coincidence & Predestination!" When I sit, my nose runs. Does it run because I sit? // IF, whenever I sit, it starts to run, SURELY it is so!! BUT – in my fairy tale are … Read More
  • DIARY OF A MAD MAN,Abuse,Anxiety,BROKEN SOUL,๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด
    Processing anything even more impossible. Why? How? Help! Stop! Can't – Shouldn't / sooner or later ALL has to be faced) – Inevitable – Scream – Sad. Cry – DO SOMETHING!" The American MANTRA . . . When do YOU finally stop THIS? When results appear over time to be destructive or counter-productive? IF you … Read More

“Josh Groban – You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)”~ BROKEN Soul ยฉ

Don’t Give up

Have you ever wondered why folk give up!

Watch the warning signs
Someone inside perhaps retreats within themselves
Silence is seen as escapism when in fact what happens inside a living being is our message from our gut really is the bodies way of reacting to lack of water, nourishment, surviving drought or famine inside all living matter fighting for survival. The role then is sent to the brainwaves simply GIVE UP.

WE ARE ALL FRAGILE
NO ONE IS INVINCIBLE ๐Ÿ™

Or maybe a sensitive Soul is mentally tired.

Mental illness has naught to do with giving up is a dangerous precursor to SUICIDE.

Animals, Humans, plants give up too. Why?

This Earth is Fragile we to are fragile

Every living being has this point called Fragility

We never know, what lays behind those eyes until the day we turn around to find another life LOST

Fragile– life is everyone’s responsibility.

Promises made at the moment, that are forfeited by the way perhaps unintended Promise’s never kept could destroy a life
Scared, disappointed, anger, loss of dignity, loss of trust, loss of love, all are a precursor to an already FRAGILE Soul.

Thought for the day
โ€œWhen you make a promise โ€” that is your wordโ€
You are only respected by your โ€œWordโ€of promise you have made.
Another Gentleman may say you are as good as your Word!

MMยฉยฎโ„ข

๐Ÿ’ฅ
Here at Dazzle the team intends to look at Broken Soul –
SUICIDE โ€” a subject we will all deal with around our lives with family, friends also with strangers who are FRAGILE.

EDITOR: DAZZLE
This Category Blogging is not Medical advice or makes any claims pertaining to information in this chapter of Dazzled.
You are invited to participate in this Category by sending your thoughts by email to the Central Office for consideration to publish here. Thank you and blessings ๐Ÿ•ฏ

Diary of a Mad Man ๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

Page 70 – a list from DIARY OF A MADMAN, a.k.a.: “The Contented Heart!”

AGE 10 on Church Forced to Go – ACT OUT Help (10)
AGE 12 DAD THROUGH DOOR F – H (10)
AGE 12 Cello – MUST DO IT
AGE 13 Shame – CURSED MAN – “Fuck You”
AGE 14 Cello – Forced to Perform (HELENA)
AGE 13 Basketball – knee H
AGE 13 Pool Near Drowning (Elkhorn)
AGE 13 Football TRAUMA – Schuler
AGE 13 BULLIES: in Dillon F
AGE 13 Wrestling Display Shame
AGE 13 DAD Shouts AT Truck Driver F

AGE 14 Methodist Summer Camp – Discrim. A

AGE 13 Hawaiian Trip – Trauma to prepare A-S-H-F (10)
AGE 17 Football Coach – Letter Jacket A-S-H-F ( )
AGE 14 on Debating – Overwhelmed – Loss-Win Shame
AGE 13 Bee Sting – Cello Recital
AGE 13 CAUGHT Stealing – “
AGE 13 Jealousy re: Sister – Teasing Her [She tolerates me] A
AGE 17 West Point Begins – Crying at FLAG Betrayed Self (10)
AGE 18 Called WUSS
AGE 18 Eccentric – Must Conform
AGE 19 KNEE hurt – operation
AGE 18 Poked in throat
AGE 20 LEFT – can’t handle it – FAILURE A-S-F
AGE 21 CONCUSSION
AGE 21 Boxing: Smoker – Failure- Knocked Out Shame
AGE 21 Beloved CAT – Beloved DOG – deaths H-A (S) (10)
AGE 20 – 23 (School Pressure – General Cello Etc)
AGE 20 1st encounter – Sexual W/WOMAN
AGE 22 – TRACK TRIP – Gena, pregnant Shock ( )
AGE 25 Law School
AGE 26 JULIA – ACNE –
AGE 27 Graduate – Lost
Law School
AGE 28 D A – – – forced back to teaching H-A-S-F (10)
AGE 30 Stop Teaching – Failure – “Home”
AGE 30 Stop Being a Jew S-A-H-F (10)
AGE 32 6
AGE 32

Diary of a Mad Man! ๐Ÿ•ด

iscussing and considering this stuff can only do so much because the natural way of living is BEYOND ANALYSIS – it has to BE: i.e.: just naturally existent. It can’t be contrived, faked, attempted . . . it’s just got to be the truly natural “way of doing business.” It’s really communism, done without any unnatural-ness; human can not program it or “figure out” what to do to implement (it). IT CAN’T be implemented . . . only lived . . . only followed. IT IS INSTINCTS – which are intelligence . . . it is IMPULSE . . & in any moment that you’re analyzing it, it is totally beyond your ability to recognize or implement. That’s why mystical poetry or writing is, perhaps, the closest – thing to describing it: because it’s not really describing it; it’s trying to inspire your real intelligence to re-activate = surprising or shocking unnatural intelligence. Whew! No wonder the unnatural intelligence (UI) is just frustrated with what to do & THERE! it’s being called something that it doesn’t like to be called at all . . . it wants to be “the good guy” & it’s tried SO HARD, i.e.: the small s “self,” & [?] may then be (just) descriptions of natural / ? / intelligence, which includes OBJECTIVE AWARENESS (?) . .. so now another model emerges, another frustrating, producing model to continue processes of analysis, synthesis, judgment of an unnatural intelligence . . . UI, like AI, . . . the same, based on calculations, RI (real ? intelligence) is beyond calculation. Graceful, Natural – Doing the appropriate thing at the appropriate time – Can never be consistently accomplished without the appropriate means (??) [without an accepting perception, for WITH SUCH A PERCEPTION, everything is appropriate AND perfect, in a sense!!] AI can never be the way necessary (?), but is doomed to continue trying = insanity = believing appropriate things can be accomplished using inappropriate means. Unnatural – Awareness of self as a separate entity. (Children are not aware of this separateness . . . They must fall from grace, by exposure to the contagion of separate-ness.) Could the dinosaurs have gone extinct from becoming self-aware as a species? OK! Time to stop!! (Higher) EDUCATION : To Develop Unnatural Intelligence. TRAINING = To Develop Skills. The “bad” news – Things can NEVER get better than they are, so [stop] trying to make ’em better. The “good” news: You are always experiencing the best that can be provided! [read to S] One’s negative emotions ARE VALID BUT NOT NATURAL – perhaps, positive emotions are the same – valid, in that they are intuitive and . . .

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

MAD MAN’S DIARY”The Contented Heart!” p. 35 (with a little of p. 36 tossed in as an appetizer!)๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

HIS PAGE, page 35, is A BLIP, returning for a moment to Bernadette’s** Article:

(Whether Jesus lived or not is another Question (&) Isn’t it irrelevant?*)

(35) Logos: Sole-y God . . . i.e.: un-manifest divinity Jesus: distinct, human person Christ: The eternal one-ness of God and MAN: God’s own human nature.

Bernadette believes Jesus WAS historical. I, me, don’t know & I don’t think I really care after (what I have been through) the last 3 -4 years. I would just LIKE to BELIEVE (that) my APPARENT existence has any value at all – I believe I would believe that IF I could, even apparently, be on some “PATH” from some state to the “Unitive” State to a no-self state. Sometimes, I imagine I am on a path; other times, the idea – the idea is TOTALLY (with a capital “T”) LUDICROUS – TOTALLY LUDICROUS.

* – Isn’t it as irrelevant as the question or koan: IS ALL THE STUFF OUT HERE REAL?

. . . (for those of you who would like to know the finish to what was left at the end of page 34, it goes like this, I think! . . . [MASS REVOLUTION (is) inevitable & (it will) NOT (be) ANY revolution based on (the) superficial; just get the wrong . . . {here it comes} folks out there & the right ones in & implement the right “policies” because an unnatural species HAS no idea what’s right or better (period).]

(Note: I really AM being facetious here, Dear Ones – there IS no hope for the betterment of human kind . . . that IS “THE period” . . . NO HOPE! This place, AND ALL CONDITIONAL REALMS – and there are no other types of apparently existent realms – are hopeless BECAUSE – conditionality, dual or whatever, can ONLY be designed to be conflicting, so the best you can hope for is: JUST TRYING TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN! and . . . THERE IS NO SUCH THING (as The Best You Can), since all you can do is what you can do, apparently! At this point, we hear Santa Claus in the background, with his traditional bowl of jelly belly laugh: “HO, HO, HO!” ๐Ÿ™‚ ) . . . but don’t give up HOPE! There is ALWAYS a kiss and a cuddle . . oo-oo–oo! <3

** – Bernadette Roberts, deceased Christian mystic and author.

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

DIARY OF A MAD MAN ๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

{I feel certain the review script is legible – What I have written [just commentary] goes like this}: page (33) Bernadette Roberts has a new book called “The Real Christ” She is only saying if you disagree with her definitions you shouldn’t read this book. Her books are all about the spiritual journey of transformation into Christ. [I agree] [are metaphors] the Incarnation . . . or (from me) just INCARNATION = God’s plan for all mankind. (that is, any incarnation or ALL Incarnation) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4oZZhpMXP4

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

DIARY OF A MAD MAN๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

The Contented Heart! page 31 – I am referencing a Catholic Mystic named Bernadette Roberts; she passed away last year, in her mid-80s. I had the opportunity to attend a seminar weekend with her years ago, and she was very nice! ๐Ÿ™‚ – She wrote several books, which I would not recommend to most people, except YOU! ๐Ÿ™‚ What I remember about her was: (1) she was thin and small; (2) she smoked like “a stack;” (3) she liked to drink and serve tea; and (4) she was just . . . well, you know, wonderful!The Contented Heart! page 31 – I am referencing a Catholic Mystic named Bernadette Roberts; she passed away last year, in her mid-80s. I had the opportunity to attend a seminar weekend with her years ago, and she was very nice! ๐Ÿ™‚ – She wrote several books, which I would not recommend to most people, except YOU! ๐Ÿ™‚ What I remember about her was: (1) she was thin and small; (2) she smoked like “a stack;” (3) she liked to drink and serve tea; and (4) she was just . . . well, you know, wonderful!(31) In Bernadette’s WARNING (I think her last book had a warning at the beginning that you should, at least, be tolerant of what she was offering!): She says (that) Recognizing the person of Christ is an important step in one’s spiritual journey. [She is ONLY saying, (I think) IF you disagree with her definitions, you shouldn’t read the book.] Yogananda (a pretty famous Hindu guru, who came to The West and started a group called Self-Realization Fellowship in California) studied Jesus Christ’s life with his guru. “The historical Christ clues us into the oneness of form & formless.” Is The Primary Absolute: God as ALL? Virgin Birth: Brahmin birthing Brahmin. (The) act of a meal is [my definition]: Brahmin Serving Brahmin to Brahmin – It’s just ALL About Brahmin . . . It’s just ALL About love. The “Unitive” State: A life in union with God. 1st book: “The PATH to NO-Self . . . so, there is a process. Is it your belief you are involved in a process from The Unitive State to No-Self? From self (small “s”) to me to ego to personas to the witness, to (?) to Alan Watt’s description (of a human being being a) Quaking Mess (or Mass) (!) to the intermediator, to Speaker A, Speaker B, conscious self, unconscious self, to me, myself & I. I am, seemingly, fragmented beyond beyond (belief?) = spiritual schizophrenia, intellectual or conscious schizophrenia – Ahem! I AM A MESS, I am a mess. Why ? are you a mess? I don’t know . . . . (possible answer:) for love of You. ๐Ÿ™‚ – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKuFyHwG188&list=RDeKuFyHwG188&start_radio=1

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

DIARY OF A MADMAN๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

what if you define (29) ENJOYMENT as – Being fascinated with some belief – and it manifests . . . Therefore, That’s why Alan Watts’ concept of “You suffer because you enjoy it!” could be right. Re-phrased, then: YOU SUFFER BECAUSE YOU ARE FASCINATED WITH THE BELIEF OF SUFFERING FOR SOME REASON (punishment for sins, for some reason like leaving Mahikari or not giving enough Light or violating various commandments of The Bible [like not honoring Your Father & Mother] or violating, &, perhaps getting away with, the laws of your society {like, even, speeding} or thinking so-called BAD thoughts or using so-called BAD words or not going to church . . .) (or – using improper punctuation in your diary! ๐Ÿ™‚ ) Q: What is fascination? – Is it meditation? – Could it be described as “one-pointed” awareness? . . . relative to anything . . . IF Quantum Physics is now largely operational in human consciousness, one has to be ultra-careful of what they are exposed to . . . and . . . guess what? Isn’t it too late to do much of anything when a person has been through SO MUCH STUFF? Yet . . . wait . . . that’s a belief too . . . So, does a person’s capacity to have ANY belief system need to be side-tracked somehow? & How possible is that when a person has had stuff already ingrained? According to Swami Rama, You can go into an altered, seemingly immobile state IF you’re hit with Shaktipat (when you’re SUPPOSEDLY ready), but also IF you are suddenly struck with intense grief or fear, as in the case of the Hindu man losing something of greatest value to him & he suddenly becomes immobile for days & people gather before him to make offerings because they think he’s in Samadhi! Am I enjoying writing this stuff down? . . . NOT in any usual sense – It’s like a compulsion . . . is THAT enjoyment!? Is that what Watts meant (by) use(ing) energy joyfully? Hasn’t enjoyment been taught to us as something YOU LIKE TO DO THAT GIVES PLEASURE? ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csyHN3LoRJ4

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

CONQUERING; something of GRACE๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

(28) Nor is it about going out & CONQUERING; something of GRACE must impact the situation & it is beyond all the separate speakers & me as a separate intermediary. Alan Watts talked about a “sudden” event – (an) unexpected, perhaps, spontaneous awakening. This writing is: Another Distraction (true) An attempt to give respect to ALL positions (true) ANOTHER last ditch effort (true) An attempt to UNDERSTAND (true) An interesting exercise (true) (definitely NOT pure as a JOYFUL energy use) A Frustration (but – is it anything like Swami Rama (when it was after) 17 yrs. of meditation before his Master (gave him) a Shaktipat Swat) – It (the diary) appears such (to be such) a surface scratch as to not justify continuance. Of course, wherever I AM in any process (even if it appears a futile downward spiral) there are those elements shouting, “Yea, but it’s something . . . keep trying!” NOW, my right hand ( like – – – ) is swelling up & hurting. It seems like this diary would only have some relative value IF other aspects of my life were somewhat in place – Obviously, they are not & Something in J just keeps holding on . . . presently, with a hurting hand! * Everyone needs BELIEF IN SOMETHING to hold (it) together or the fabric of their (apparent) reality (dissolves!) like: (1) Sun Worship or (2) Ancestor Worship or (3) Christianity or (4) Jungian Psychology or (5) The idea of Cosmic Consciousness or (6) the belief that the right food or drugs can make your life all better or (7) (the) Belief that the right food or Drugs Can Destroy Your Life as You Know It or (8) The belief in life after Death or (9) A Belief that, as a species, we are entering a new dimension of existence or (10) A Belief in Being Born, Aging & Dying or (11) A Belief that we’re born into a family & they pass their beliefs onto us or (12) The belief that beliefs can alter our perceived reality (Quantum Mechanics + String Theory = Satisfaction!!) or (13) The belief that beliefs are infectious . . . PERHAPS ALL THESE CAN & DO MANIFEST https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrIPxlFzDi0. . .

and dealing with all the grass that grows! / A hundred zillion strands, I- suppose, / Can’t-I-stop this silly-mess-a-while,/ and simply go some place to smile? / For there’s no peace, when all these things, / Are (echoing); space-time, it brings, / ME to a place, where I can rest, / Have peace . . . and, maybe, build a nest . . . <3

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

BROKEN SOUL๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

“The Contented Heart!” page 27 . . .

. . . relative to this finding common ground. Such have been (27) unsuccessful, in view of the housebound condition – – – How to convince Speaker A that J’s apparent plight is a successful (thing) somehow appears perhaps to be (the) object of this diary. B is obviously greatly distressed & this spills into J’s life, drowning him in the process. Speaker B’s pain becomes J’s pain. How do I tell speaker B, I am doing my best to find justification to indulge the body/mind in this process . . . it’s about affording speaker B respect without being patronizing.

[B]: It’s been all about forcing discipline; you are thinking that I am insane or wild & must be tamed. with that kind of attitude how can there ever be this integration you’re speaking of? I am being treated as the HAL Computer in (the motion picture) 2001: A Space Odyssey . . . I am in a position to wreak havoc & I am acting just like HAL, trying to kill everything. (?) : How do YOU (?) convince B that it is in his best collective interest to cooperate & graduate, when he has given so much & been CHASTISED massively, given his perspective. He does have a point, but the apparent future for J is dire. How to realize the NOW position when it apparently can’t be done with a reasoning, analytical approach, which IS this diary, isn’t it? A linear approach just has never worked. Why should it work now? The answer, somehow, is to let LOVE work its miracles. & that “letting” is NOT about a DOING either – I think everybody! (!) here agrees with that. It’s NOT about adopting another state of mind. It’s NOT about shutting out The World, . . . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QZjJU-mtFU

Well . . . would you believe: “Open, Sesame?!” * <3

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

EDITOR: DAZZLED

Reading this Journal for so long

BROKEN SOUL has BROKEN OUR SOUL
Many emails arriving daily is an outcry of grief concerned about Broken Soul outcome today.

JUGEMENT, ABUSED, by enterties is called today Brainwashing.

Kindness, Humanity, Dignity and just being true to self is your unique one of a kind.

Treat all as, you would like to be treated with love and dignity all the days of your life๐Ÿ•Š

PEACE BE WITH YOU ๐Ÿ•Š

BROKEN SOUL๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

A HEAVENLY DAY IN BEULAH LAND, FOR FINE MESSES LIKE ME!” a poem.
When you go to Heaven, they ask, “Are-you-a-mess? Did you really mess it up, nullify the bless?” “Yes,” I answered, honestly, coming from The Heart. “Well, congratulations, Dear, that was your fine part! It’s those folks that ‘mess it’ that quite win in the end – even though some folks think: One needs a fine blend! So, hearty congrats to you, Friend, you are on your way – to “The Highest Plateaus,” {pause} on this Heavenly Day. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiPo-Hkxp_VAhWIjlQKHYmFB64QtwIILjAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DO05M5LAY1u8&usg=AFQjCNGGW-ALBLFrWydaUdczhmH_dgKHi


Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚

p. 25 entitled – Your effort to MAKE A POSITIVE SPIN 3/16/2015 – MONDAY – ๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

p. 25 entitled – Your effort to MAKE A POSITIVE SPIN 3/16/2015 – MONDAY – In (the state of the writer) such a state (of mind, like today) there’s a resistance by a “happier J” (the ACCEPTABLE J) to not (25) write because the writing will be negatively oriented, which this is: The diary (is) clearly an “ego(is)tic effort to conquer being housebound: the effort IS an effort & “the negative side,” so to speak, has as much “right” to express its dis-satisfaction with this diary process as IT has to be disgusted with almost 60 years of the process of getting out of the house & DOING the best American dream possible. So, there’s the anti-Diary Sentiment, which is just what it is – not life affirming & not wanting additional energy spent in “striving” to be a better person, to overcome obstacles & please parents & society, who are bound to denigrate the negative side. How CAN you integrate ME (I AM ? who is just being “fair” & writing down this account. – (2) just feel like I am body/hand – writing this down, not formulating it. – How’s that for dissociation.) when the only purpose “I” sense about this so-called integration is a further suppression or “forcing to go along” attitude. You can talk a good game about the value of psychosis & the dropping of the desire to get better (which is really just a veiled attempt to bury that which hates this society & the way 10000s of yrs. of human history (has been) forcing misery & torture on the weak & disenfranchised, as well as destroying what once was a relatively dangerous, but natural, rustic setting (although it’s obviously a “construct,” like a dream). Earth (is) trashed, animals & enemies are tortured daily & you want me to be happy with such a state of affairs, with a continued, dreamily hypnotized exploitation for the collective self-satisfaction of self-called “civilization,” which is really a (the) height of smug, vile activity & double talk. Anyone with slightly open eyes can recognize hell on earth is already here, hell’s getting worse, & humanity is dancing on the edge of a Volcano, watching TV or making great, humanitarian plans to aid the less fortunate by building wells, more building, raping the soil to produce more & all these processes creating more pollutants, discord – all the while convinced that these stellar efforts are making things better – This is NOT so-called progress, sanity or kindness – It’s just trying to perpetuate & further entrench the status quo. ๐Ÿ™‚ – Yup! <3

Medical Disclaimer. Please use all information regarding “THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman,” anyway you wish! IF it is helpful to/for you, comforting or inspiring in anyway, THAT is our INTENTION. We are offering NO MEDICAL ADVICE, and we are NOT doctors, simply “fellow travelers,” also fragile humans, hoping for happiness for everyone, especially YOU! We make no representation and assume no responsibility for the accuracy of what is presented, although we feel we ARE our “brothers’ keepers,” we are all connected and the only sanity we perceive in life is to love and be loved. Shalom, Peace, Namaste & Love to Thee. ๐Ÿ™‚