Tag Archives: Hope

Quote 😁😁

You haven’t lived
Until you have
Found your passion
And when you do find your passion Never let anyone steal it away

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.” ― William W. PurkeyBe

Best Version of You🤗

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ADDICTION METHODS AND SUPPORT for loved ones🕊

ADDICTION METHODS AND SUPPORT

10 Things to Stop Doing If You Love an Alcoholic

Are you wondering how you can cope with a drunk mother during the holidays, or how you can help her? Have friends told you that you are an enabler for your spouse? Do you find yourself suffering the consequences of a loved one’s alcohol problem? It can be hard to hear that you need to change yourself when a loved one is living with alcoholism. After all, it’s their problem, isn’t it? Unfortunately, you can only change yourself, and the only way you can interrupt and change the current course of your interactions with people with substance abuse disorders is to change your reactions.

Those who live or have lived with active alcoholics or anyone struggling with addiction find that they have been deeply affected by the experience. Many times, the frustration and stress can be caused by your own actions and choices. By adjusting your approach and your attitude toward the problem, you can place it in a different perspective so that it no longer dominates your thoughts and your life. In some ways, knowing that you can change your approach and attitude is empowering. You no longer need to continue doing some of the things you do in your dance with a person with an addiction.

Here are 10 things that you can stop doing that may help relieve the pressure.

1
Blaming Yourself

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It’s typical for alcoholics to try to blame their drinking on circumstances or others around them, including those who are closest to them. It’s common to hear an alcoholic say, “The only reason I drink is because you…”

Don’t buy into it. If your loved one is truly an alcoholic, he is going to drink no matter what you do or say. It’s not your fault. He has become dependent on alcohol, and nothing is going to get between him and his drug of choice.

2
Taking It Personally
When alcoholics promise they will never drink again, but a short time later they are back to drinking as much as always, it is easy for family members to take the broken promises and lies personally. You may tend to think, “If she really loves me, she wouldn’t lie to me.” But if she has become truly addicted to alcohol, her brain chemistry may have changed to the point that she is completely surprised by some of the choices she makes. She may not be in control of her own decision making.

3
Trying to Control It
Many family members of alcoholics naturally try everything they can think of to get their loved one to stop drinking. Unfortunately, this usually results in leaving the alcoholic’s family members feeling lonely and frustrated. You may tell yourself that surely there is something that you can do, but the reality is that not even alcoholics can control their drinking, try as they may.

Even knowing that you may still want to help your addicted loved one when he is in the middle of a crisis. In reality, that is usually the time when the family should do nothing.
When an alcoholic or drug abuser reaches a crisis point, sometimes that’s the time the person finally admits he has a problem and begins to reach out for help. But if friends or family members rush in and “rescue” the person from the crisis situation, it can delay the decision to get help.
Let a Crisis Happen
For those who love an addict, it is very difficult to sit back a let the crisis play out to its fullest extent. When addicts reach the point in their substance abuse when they get a DUI, lose their job, or get thrown in jail, it is a difficult concept for their loved ones to accept that the best thing they can do in the situation is to do nothing. It seems to go against everything they believe. Unfortunately, this causes the cycle to repeat…indefinitely.

You don’t have to create a crisis, but learning detachment will help you allow a crisis—one that may be the only way to create change—happen.

4
Trying to Cure It
Make no mistake about it, alcoholism, or alcohol dependence, is a primary, chronic, and progressive disease that sometimes can be fatal. You are not a healthcare professional, and even if you are, you should not carry the responsibility for treating friends or family members. You are not a trained substance-abuse counselor, and again, even if you are, your role should not be a counselor. You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again. That’s the alcoholic’s responsibility, not yours. You can’t cure a disease. No matter what your background happens to be, you need outside help.

Alcoholics usually go through a few stages before they are ready to make a change. Until an alcoholic begins to contemplate quitting, any actions you take to “help” her quit will often be met with resistance.

Even though it is not your responsibility to “cure” your loved one’s alcoholism, you may be interested in knowing some of the things that make drinkers want to stop, as well as some of the things which get in the way of an alcoholic getting sober. You may wish to consider a family intervention. Before looking into ways of staging an intervention, take a moment to read further about how to care for yourself—not only for yourself but because it’s often the only way a person with an addiction will get the help they need.

5
Covering It Up
There is a joke in recovery circles about an alcoholic in denial who screams, “I don’t have a problem, so don’t tell anyone!” Alcoholics typically do not want anyone to know the level of their alcohol consumption because if someone found out the full extent of the problem, they might try to help. If family members try to “help” (enable the alcoholic) by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for her, they are playing right into the alcoholic’s denial game. Dealing with the problem openly and honestly is the best approach.

Accepting Unacceptable Behavior
Accepting unacceptable behavior usually begins with some small incident that family members brush off with, “They just had too much to drink.” But the next time, the behavior may get a little worse and then even worse. You slowly begin to accept more and more unacceptable behavior. Before you realize it, you can find yourself in a full-blown abusive relationship. Abuse is never acceptable. You do not have to accept unacceptable behavior in your life. You do have choices.

It’s important to protect your children from unacceptable behavior as well. Do not tolerate any hurtful or negative comments addressed towards your children. These comments can result in lasting damage to a child’s psyche. Protect your children, and don’t hesitate to keep your child away from someone who drinks and does not respect your boundaries. Growing up in an alcoholic home can leave lasting scars.

7
Having Unreasonable Expectations
One problem of dealing with an alcoholic is that what might seem like a reasonable expectation in some circumstances, might be totally unreasonable with an addict. When alcoholics swear to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop, you might naturally expect that they are sincere and they won’t drink again. But with alcoholics, that expectation turns out to be unreasonable. Is it reasonable to expect someone to be honest with you when the person is incapable of even being honest with himself or herself?

8
Living in the Past
The key to dealing with alcoholism in the family is staying focused on the situation as it exists today. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It doesn’t reach a certain level and remain there for very long; it continues to get worse until the alcoholic seeks help. You can’t allow the disappointments and mistakes of the past to affect your choices today because circumstances have probably changed.

9
Enabling
Often, well-meaning loved ones, in trying to “help,” will actually do something that enables alcoholics to continue along their destructive paths. Find out what enabling is and make sure that you are not doing anything that bolsters the alcoholic’s denial or prevents them from facing the natural consequences of their actions. Many an alcoholic has finally reached out for help when they realized their enabling system was no longer in place. Take a moment to take this quiz to see if you are enabling an alcoholic.

What happens when you enable an alcoholic? The exact answer depends on the specific situation, but what usually happens is that:

The alcoholic never feels the pain
It takes the focus off of the alcoholic’s behavior

For example, if your loved one passes out in the yard, and you carefully help him into the house and into bed, only you feel the pain. The focus then becomes what you did—moved him—rather than what he did, which is passing out. If in this situation, he wakes up on the lawn in the morning with neighbors peeking out the window, and comes into the house while you and the children are happily eating breakfast, he is left to face the pain. The only thing left for him to face is his own behavior. In other words, his behavior, rather than your reaction to his behavior, becomes the focus. It is only when he experiences his own pain that he will feel a need to change.

Natural consequences may mean that you refuse to spend any time with the alcoholic. This is not being mean or unkind to the alcoholic, but instead is being protective of yourself. It is not your job to “cure” your loved one’s alcoholism, but allowing natural consequences to occur is one factor which can push a person from the pre-contemplative stage to contemplative stage of overcoming addiction. The contemplative stage ends with the decision to make a change, yet further steps such as preparation, action, and later maintenance and likely relapse are usually needed before the addiction is controlled.

10
Putting off Getting Help
After years of covering up for the alcoholic and not talking about “the problem” outside the family, it may seem daunting to reach out for help from a support group, such as Al-Anon Family Groups. But millions have found solutions that lead to serenity inside those meetings. Going to an Al-Anon meeting is one of those things that once you do it, you say, “I should have done this years ago.”

Healing yourself involves being able to say several things including:

You no longer have to deny the presence of addiction in your family.
You no longer have to control the addict’s using.
You no longer have to rescue the addict.
You no longer have to be interested in the addict’s reasons for using.
You no longer have to accept or extract promises.
You no longer have to seek advice from the ill-informed.

You no longer have to nag, preach, coax, or gesture.
You no longer need to allow the addict to abuse you or your children.
You no longer have to be a victim of addiction.

Look After Yourself
There may be very little you can do to help the alcoholic until he or she is ready to get help, but you can stop letting someone’s drinking problem dominate your thoughts and your life. It’s okay to make choices that are good for your own physical and mental health.

What is alcoholism?

Alcohol is used more than any other addictive drug in Australia. If you suspect that you drink too much, or someone you live with might have a problem, then it might be helpful to know the warning signs and where to find help.

What is alcoholism?
If you drink a lot of alcohol, you might become dependent on it to make you feel good. Your drinking behaviour could tip over into alcoholism, a type of substance abuse.

The signs of alcoholism
You or someone you know might be drinking too much if they:

have a strong urge to drink
cannot control how much they drink
feel physical effects like nausea, sweating, shakiness and anxiety if they stop after a period of heavy drinking
I need to drink more overtime to get the same good feeling
drink while alone, or hide alcohol from members of the household
struggle with work, education or relationships for no obvious reason
lie about how much they drink
drink early in the day or are anxious about when they will be able to drink
forget what they said or did while they were drinking

Effects of alcoholism
If you drink too much alcohol, you are at increased risk of illnesses such as heart disease and liver disease, cancer, diabetes and damage to the brain. It can also have a bad effect on those around you as it is a key player in car accidents, family violence and crime.

Although it seems to make you feel good, alcohol can increase the risk of depression and anxiety and also can make these worse if they are already present.

If you are a family member or friend living with an alcoholic you are likely to feel upset, angry, anxious, guilty, stressed, disappointed and helpless at various times.

Treatment for alcoholism
The most important starting point for treatment is to talk to your doctor about how to control your alcohol consumption. You can search for a doctor in your region here.

Treatment options depend on the strength of alcohol dependence. For low-level dependence, your doctor might discuss the problem with you and suggest changes you can make or recommend counselling.

Stronger dependence will need different treatments to manage the effects of alcohol withdrawal. The treatments might include:

behavioural treatment to improve coping skills
medication
peer support through groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Smart Recovery
spending time at a detoxification facility
Preventing alcoholism and harm
Becoming familiar with the Australian guidelines for low-risk drinking habits can help guard against alcoholism. If you have children, you should talk to them about drugs, alcohol and mental health, including binge drinking.

Quotes

In Jesus Name🕊

Father God, I come into your presence so aware of my human frailty and yet overwhelmed by your love for me.
I thank you that there is no human experience that I might walk through where your love cannot reach me. If I climb the highest mountain you are there and yet if I find myself in the darkest valley of my life, you are there.
Teach me today to love you more. Help me to rest in that love that asks nothing more than the simple trusting heart of a child.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Love’s Wilderness

Love’s Wilderness

We whose hearts bear the wounds of love’s defilement
Seek still that prize of our Primordial contentment

As we strive to learn the lessons within our pain
Yearning to resurrect that which has been slain

Desiring not our heart’s repair but it’s very recreation
Knowing that we forever remain Divinity’s Emanation

For we have yet to discard Heaven’s Timeless entreaty
No matter Life’s shadows we remain bathed in beauty

Awaiting reclamation our Light beckons our return
To our origin when all self-doubt we finally spurn

To once more earn the solace of spiritual stillness
And rediscover our liberation from Love’s Wilderness

🕊

Hope

What was the scariest close call you’ve ever had? Written by a Contributor 😁

What was the scariest close call you’ve ever had?

At 9 a.m, two police constable patrolling the streets on motorcycle radioed a “shots fired” call regarding unknown suspects riding a white car. They said they are chasing the car. A very short call, made only once.

I heard them on my Motorola pocket wireless set. Police wireless control started screaming and directing every available mobile van and rider to reach the said point.

By the time we barely left the police station to get there, dispatch told that both constables have been gunned down as reported by another patrolling squad who had reached there in few minutes.

Oh man… Oh man. I cannot express the adrenaline that news struck. It shook the whole department instantly. We had never experienced such an incident before. It was like the whole department has formed into an agile bloodhound that is out to hunt.

Numerous reports kept coming in about the latest sightings of that white car and finally, they were pinned down where they had to leave the car and run on foot. Minutes later, their luck gave up completely, as they had entered a street with a dead end.

In a jiffy, we reached there. About 50 policemen were covering that street. Suspects were firing off shots vigorously with fully automatic rifles. The rate of fire was extraordinary. North Hollywood shootout comes to mind. I, along with other cops, climbed up a shop’s roof to get a better and relatively safer look and that’s when they fired at us.

A bullet struck about a foot above my head, back on the wall. It made a cracking sound. An AK 47 shot.

For some reason, my mother’s image came to my mind. I don’t want to say that I was scared, but the idea of dying instantly rattled me real hard. It left me wondering.

Oh my goodness! What if I die here? My mother will go insane! I am not even married yet, got zero numbers in sex department. Would I go without a little what-what? I wish to visit UAE, is that dream for nothing? I am yet to earn money and enjoy life, what about that?

In few very short seconds, I thought about all of that. Got all the legitimate reasons you know, to live. 🙂 I had almost drowned once and also faced a serious accident but such thoughts never struck me then. Maybe it’s because, a head shot is capable of turning your lights off right away. I don’t know.

Anyway.

The benefit we had from here was a “clear trajectory path” as we could see them hiding behind a vehicle. So, shots we fired which made them move and be more visible to the cops down the street.

A heavy spray from above and front silenced both of them. Three AK 47s with box magazines and a sack filled with literally thousands of rounds they had.

Armed, trained and resilient they were.

A breed new to us.

Terrorists.


Kindness

Watch “แปลเพลง One Moment in Time – Whitney Houston [Lyrics Eng] [Sub Thai]” on YouTube

Letter to my Husband ❤

You will get this – it will waft – through the ether(s) – and find your Heart! You ARE – MAGIC! 🙂

My husband loves me just the way I am

His Devil Women ❤

Watch “Cry to Me. Touch of Class” on YouTube

Watch “Righteous Brothers – Unchained Melody (High Quality)” on YouTube

KINDNESS

LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE

SOMETIMES IT’S BEAUTIFUL

SOMETIMES IT’S PAINFULLY

BUT MOST OF THE TIME IT’S BOTH

 

KINDNESS IS FREE SPRINKLE IT EVERYWHERE YOU GO

Never say anything mean words out of anger

Anger will pass

What you say in anger can scar a person for life

Always live in the moment, show KINDNESS and life will reward you

With Peace of mind knowing that you are free from remorse of scaring some poor soul