Tag Archives: FUNNY

By the Son of the Mystic Poet

LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN TUMBLR!!

TRUMP’S CUT, TWEET AND DIE! BY THE SON OF THE MYSTIC POET, AKA: SMP 500 JANUARY 22
TRUMP GOT A HAIRCUT, TRUMP GOT A DYE,
OH, WHAT A THOROUGHLY WONDERFUL GUY!
YOU KNOW, DON; WE MIGHT “RIB” YOU, BUT WE REALLY DON’T MEAN,
TO BE MEAN AND NASTY, FOR WE CERTAINLY DO GLEAN,
HOW TRULY HARD YOU ARE WORKING WITH LOVE & SINCERITY.
WE REALLY DO APPRECIATE, ALL “YOUR POLICY,”
TO INSURE SAFETY, HAPPINESS AND CALM,
AND FOR ALL THE U. S. CITIZENS TO HAVE A “SECOND MOM!”
WE LOVE OUR MOM MELANIA; WE HOPE SHE’LL VISIT SOON!
WE LOVE HER SOFT AND TENDER WAYS, & WE’RE OVER A BLOODY MOON
THAT WE HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING HERE IN BREWSTER COUNTY!
IF WE LIVED A BIT MORE NORTH, WE’D SENT FOR HER A “MOUNTIE,”
WHO WOULD GRACEFULLY SWEEP HER OFF HER LOVELY FEET,
AND KISS AND CUDDLE HER, AND THEN WE COULD ALL EAT,
SOUTHWEST CUISINE, LIKE A BIG MEAT TORTILLA;
MELANIA COULD COME AND LIVE WITH US; WE KNOW IT COULD BE-A,
WONDERFUL THING! WE COULD BE HER “HIDE-AWAY,”
WHILE YOU ARE DEALING WITH AFFAIRS OF STATE EVERY DAY!
WE’D WINE AND DINE HER AND HAVE CLOSE ENCOUNTERS,
AROUND WATERING TROUGHS, WITH THE MOUNTIES & THE MOUNTERS,
DANCING AROUND, WITH SOME DELIGHT, THE MOON OF BLOOD,
AND YOU’VE GOT A STANDING INVITATION, SINCE YOU ARE OUR BUD!
THE MOON IS RED; THE FENCE IS HIGH;
AND SO ARE WE, AND MELANIA’S THIGH,
IS IN FULL VIEW, AS THE SHEER MOON LIGHT,
CASCADES OFF OUR FIRST LADY ALL RIGHT!
THE DESERT SKY IS CLEAR AND BROAD,
AND WE LOVE YOUR PRESIDENTIAL BOD,
AND IN THE DRY AND PURE NIGHT AIR,
THE SMOKE OF FIRES WILL BRUSH YOUR (NOW BLACK) HAIR,
AND MAKE US SMELL LIKE A BIG CIGAR,
HERE’S A NOD TO MELANIA AND TO “RAISING THE BAR!”


* – https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/in/@5525755

Humour in the White House 😁

** – LIKE THE ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE!
*** – SO THE FENCE WILL BE SUFFICIENTLY HIGH TO KEEP OUT THE FOLKS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BORDER WHO CLAMOR TO GET TO THIS SIDE, TO ENJOY OUR GAY WEST TEXAS FESTIVITIES!

[SO, YOU MIGHT ASK WHY TRUMP GOT THE CUT AND DYE TO LOOK MORE LIKE KIM JONG-UN! — WELL, THE ANSWER CAME, DURING THE BLOODY RED MOON! — BECAUSE: BOTH GUYS LIKE SEPARATION AND ISOLATION AND LIVING SO-LOW LIVES! — THEY BOTH LIKE BARRIERS AND BORDERS AND LIES, — LIKE: “STAY AWAY FROM US; WE HAVE INTEGRITY! — (AND A WHOLE LOT OF MISUNDERSTANDING AND FEARFUL STRATEGY!)

This SON OF SAM or of The Mystic Poet – is GETTING OUT OF HAND! Look at what (s)he’s posted NOW! This is going to ruin The Mystic Poet Tumblr site forever, whatever that means:

Tumblr you have upset the Mystic Poet
Tumblr you must apologise to all Poets on Tumblr
These are the folk that kept Tumblr alive
But no you are at fault allowing all that junk to take over the space of published authors and artists that allowed Tumblr to be credible.
Yesterday, as we looked through Tumblr porn, was still being shown, what happened to the cut off date 17 December 2018? Mystic Poet is a loss to Tumblr as many other genuine Artists are leaving. Mystic Poet has been banned on Tumblr for being porn. After many Reviews by Tumblr not one reply from Tumblr. In fact, we posted the same posts again under a different name. Those same poems with graphics were not deemed inappropriate. It clearly shows that the computer scanners are out of date. Tumblr and Facebook got greedy on the dollar and thought they would get away not spending their money on an update on their own responsibilities to complying with the Law. No company is beyond the law. Yes, they all have been found guilty of Community Standards. The ramifications to disconnect Authors and Artists being targeted as culprits and banned causing mental anguish to innocent folk. Many innocent folk are looking at a Clase Action Law Suite against Social Media Giants : more later

THE TUMBLR S[U]N –

WRITTEN BY THE SON OF THE MYSTIC POET:

Dazzled

I THINK THE MYSTIC POET IS MAKING FUN OF ME,
AS I AM WRITING HERE SOME DAYS ON HIS TUMBLR-EE!
I NOTICED HE HAD QUIT HIS SITE, AND NATURE ABHORS A SPACE,
THAT IS NOT BEING UTILIZED TO HELP THE HUMAN RACE!
I HAVE TAKEN UP THE CAUSE TO FILL THIS VACUUM, SO,
WE CAN UTILIZE ALL GOOD SPACE AS WE GENTLY GO,
ABOUT OUR DAILY ACTIVITIES, WHETHER IN OR OUT (OF) THE FENCE,

YET, I AM POOR AND DESTITUTE; I HAVE JUST A FEW P E N C E, *

NOT ALL THE CASH AND WHEREWITHAL, LIKE MR. TRUMP AND MYSTIC:
THOSE GUYS ARE RICH AND POWERFUL! BUT I’M MORE REALISTIC.
I JUST NEED A LITTLE CHANCE TO MAKE A LITTLE MONEY,
&, WHEN I’M FORCED TO STAY AWAY FROM THE LAND OF MILK & HONEY,
I CAN’T AFFORD TO FEED MY FAMILY, TO SMUGGLE & DO TRADE;
I KNOW YOU NEED MORE DRUGS IN THERE & WITH DRUG-SMUGGLING WE’VE MADE,

A LITTLE MONEY AND IMPACT – TO GET YOU ALL CHEAP STUFF,
SO YOU CAN DEAL WITH YOUR GUILT AND MR. TRUMP ENOUGH,
FOR WE ARE SURE YOU’RE CRAZY AND FED UP WITH YOUR “REPS,”
THE GUY & GAL POLITICIANS, WHO LIKE THE WHITE HOUSE STEPS,
AND ALL THE CLEVER BENEFITS AND SALARIES THEY GOT,
FROM VOTING ON THEIR OWN PAY BILLS & SMOKING A LITTLE POT,
WITH SPECIAL INTEREST GROUPS AND FRIENDS (IN THE OTHER PARTY),
THEY ARE ALL SLEEPING IN ONE BED & DON’T MIND BEING TARDY,
TO WORK OR EVEN SHOWING UP, SO THEY CAN CLOSE DOWN “THE PLAY,”
AND WATCH ALL U.S. CITIZENS SLOWLY WASTE AWAY!
SO, ANYWAY, WE LIKE TO SMUGGLE DRUGS FOR JOHN Q. PUBLIC, BUT
THE POLITICIANS SNATCH THEM ALL! IS THAT LIKE A “BUDGET CUT?”

I THOUGHT I WOULD INCLUDE AN APPROPRIATE, HEART-WRENCHING SONG, LIKE THE MYSTIC POET USED TO DO: (IS THAT OK?)

* – THAT IS AN ATTEMPT AT HUMOR, BUT I HAVE ONLY BEEN EDUCATED TO GRADE SCHOOL LEVEL, SO DON’T EXCEPT MUCH, OK?

** – ANOTHER ATTEMPT AT HUMOR! HOW AM I DOING?

🌼 Self love 🌼

“THE MYSTIC POET’S PRAISE FOR THE NEW KID IN TOWN!” a poem Jan. 22, 2019 (Tuesday) 2 2 2 2 – – – – too good! This “ghost writer” on jfastereft.tumblr.com is 2 GOOD! (S)he is simply A SENSATIONAL POET – and – A BRILLIANT POLITICAL SATIRIST! I give up! I can’t compete with the wit and wisdom which bristles from those lines! Sigh! Why was I born? Oh, me!! “No matter how good you are, how well you rhyme or what cleverness you might demonstrate ‘in the nation,’ there is ALWAYS someone: BETTER! ‘more rhymie’ AND CLEVERER than you; so just stay humble and, if possible, out of sight!” The “RIMER” formerly known as “The Mystic Poet.”

Whoever’s taken-over my TUMBLR site – really-has a-way with the pen,
Having BRILLIANCE with words and rhyming (and-political-satire)! Who knows when,
I’ll ever be as good as that!? I can only hope,
That-one-day-I-might-rise! to-that-level, but-for-now, I’ll-simply-mope,
And look to bright tomorrows, when my-writing might-be as sweet,
And lyrical – and lovely – a muse one day I’ll meet,
Who’ll inspire me – even half as much, to get such po-e-try,
That-makes-angels-sing-and-bells-to-ring, WITH-RHYTHM-OF-SKY-&-TREE,
And high bor-der divisions – to keep harmony and peace;
I wonder if THIS SHUT-DOWN, if it – will ever cease?
I’M SURE THAT TRUMP, OUR PRESIDENT, IS ALSO MISSING MEALS,
And staring long – in Kim Jong-Un’s eyes, making lots of “deals!”
For now-though those-two look alike, with even matching hair!!
I hope they might be locked-in-a-room, where they can lovingly-stare,
At one another, smile-and-giggle, and be all “rootin’ tootin’,”
Waiting for their fine bud-dy – Vladi-mir-e-Putin!
I FOUND THIS PICTURE-OF-PROPHECY, of the three of them tied down,
Living-in-a-mon-a-stery, with-its-name: “THE TRIAD CLOWN,”
Talking – about-their-“triumphs,” and how clever they all are!
Yes, THOSE THREE! I sing with glee – “THEY’VE ALL GONE OH, SO FAR!”

fin ❤

Editor: oh my, Someone here is so addicted to Tumblr 🤗

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Watch “20-Month-Old Ella Mae sings ‘An American Trilogy’ [by Elvis Presley]” on YouTube 😁😂😃😄 Do not miss this Baby sing 😂😃 best ever 😂😃

Only in Australia

It’s not easy being an Old Nutter. Growing old is not for the young.

Interesting that🤔

Christians Celebrate Trump’s Government Shutdown As Sign Of Christ’s Return | Michael Stone 😂😅😂

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2018/12/christians-celebrate-trumps-government-shutdown-as-sign-of-christs-return/

“GUARANTEED!”

“GUARANTEED!” a poem a.k.a.: “Satisfying Whatever You Think Or Feel Is The Greatest Need First Can Be A Good Idea!?” January 6, 2019 (Sunday)

From a wife – to-her-“hubby,” “You’re [ALWAYS] so-filled with appetite!!”
“BUT! I’m hungry – FOR YOU first, Sweetie! It’s YOU who are my bright,
Shining Angel!! Without you, food means naught!”

“Oh, SURE, my-hungry-husband! I-REALLY believe-THAT – not!
Take-me-now, my Darling; I-just-need love from you!
I can-get-by-on-water! Your-appetite-makes me blue!”

Yet, on-any-given-morning, since-appetites we-can’t-control!
Maggie-might-arise, with-HUNGER! Now, she’s-got-herself-a “hole!”*
Sometimes appetites – really just need filling,
And, for-instance, when hunger HITS, she is NEVER willing,
To have “good-lovin'” – ‘TIL-lots-o’-the-chocolate-that-she’ll-take,
Combines-with-her gastric juices! LADY of-the-Cake,
OR – Lady of LAND O’ LAKES, with lots of tasty spread!
I GUARANTEE YOU – there’s no s-x, ’til-she’s filled up her head!

So, the-moral-of-this-story!? (is:) Many-guys gotta eat,
To keep their bodies goin’ strong – then-a-good-meal can’t-be-beat!
Now, perhaps “The-way-to-a-man’s-heart, may-be-through his tummy!
but-sometimes it’s-also so-for-HER; and, then, give food to-mummy!
OK- then: If you’re hungry, go for some “vittle;”
If-you’re-love-starved, then – try to “whittle,”
Down – the appetite – of the one you need;
And EVERYONE-will-be-happy;
Yes, indeed!
🙂 – Yummy, yummy!

    • a “hole in her stomach” – that needs some food to take care of the vacuum!

Only in Australia 😂😅😓

SILLY SUNDAY STUFF FUNNIES JUST FOR GIGGLES

Ok so 53818 of you CLAIM to be Aussies, well we now know each of us is just acting and by god we are doing a good job of it! Keep up the good work my fellow ‘Aussies’.

Also don’t forget to join the BACK TO BASICS EVENT starting in the morning kick some fat to the curb!!!

😁😂Bet you can’t do that 😂

Oh No 🙊🙈🙉

Luv this..

A precious little girl walks into a PetSmart store and asks, in the
sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,

“Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”

As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that
he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a
thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like dat cute widdle
bwown wabbit over der?”

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her
knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, “I don’t think
my python weally gives a thyit.”

Blonde Joke

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”
The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”
“I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy.
Just take the day off to relax and rest.”
The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
“If you need anything, just let me know,” he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
He rushes out to her, and asks, “Are you going to be okay?
Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No,” re plies the blonde,
“I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!”

Funny Joke 😁😂🤗

  CATHOLICS DON’T SIN!!—this must be a true story

Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, idly chatting and watching the front door of the brothel across the road. 

They see the local Baptist pastor appear, knock on the door and quickly go inside.

“Would you look at that!” exclaims the first Irishman. “Didn’t I always say what a bunch of hypocrites those Baptists are?”

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the brothel door, knocks, and also disappears inside.

“Dere’s another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and silly hats!”

They continue drinking while roundly condemning the pastor and the rabbi when they see their local Catholic priest knock on the brothel door.

 “Ah, now dat’s sad,” says the third Irishman, “One of the girls must have died.”

Watch “Guardians Of The Galaxy OST – “Come And Get Your Love”” on YouTube

POSTED IN: TUMBLR’s “OpennessDotCom:” on Dec. 26, 2018 (Wednesday)

Hi, Tumblr-Censors: I hope you have a nice New Year – – – Filled with love, without-hate-and-fear! – – – No fear of people, losing clothes – – – No fear of-telling-you, I suppose: – – – That your-idea – of proper and prim: – – – Is morally deficient – and pretty dim! – – – I hope that worms and bugs of doubt – – – crawl-up -into (pause) – your fine snout! – – – And infest your brains, with-a-little-sense! – – – For, humans-can-be-silly – and-sometimes dense! – – – But, in-the-long-term, ALL – will-be-heard! – – – THE-BEAUTY-OF-SEX-AND-OUR-BODIES is-not-so-absurd!
😊

Funny Animals 🤗🤗

Merry Christmas 🌞🐰🐇🐛🐜🕷👄

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