THROUGH-MY-EYES

 

I’m not a perfect creature; I mistakenly care too much. I’m the disembodied voice in life, with the cataclysmic touch.

For years I have walked this earth, edified by many who’ve been and gone. I’ve been hustled, I’ve been played and good Lord have I been torn.

I will not preach and I do not judge, although far too many do. For many things I am guilty, one is hopelessly loving you.

I do not believe in perfection, for it’s an inflated morons myth. Your translucent eyes shift and pull, like the waves that fight a cliff.

And I fell… right into you.

I will never be the holy grail, the saint within a church. I’m imperfect, sporadic and as flawed as hell. All of these and more you’ll find, need all you do is search.

If falling in love with you is forbidden, throw a noose and let me pay my dues. Stop your cosmetic shades, and your impossibly complicated views.

You’ll never find a love quite as pure, yet so dangerously tainted. I’m selfish, so selfish… On death row I’d take you with me, even against your protests. Guilty as sin, ruled the plaintiff.

Mim x

THOUGH MY EYES

 

We worry a lot about what people think of us. We worry what they think about our fashion choices, our looks, the things we say, our level of success, and our particular interests or hobbies. Even the philosopher Heidegger speaks of The They[1]—the amorphous, ambiguous atmosphere of other people’s judgments. We end up living in fear or doing things we really do not want to do (or missing out on things we do want to do) because of fear of people’s opinions.

I used to worry constantly about what people thought about me, and to be honest, I still occasionally do. But years ago, a significant crisis in my life taught me that we actually do not have to worry about what other people think of us and that there are really good reasons not to worry at all. Learning these lessons relieved a significant amount of anxiety in my life. Perhaps they will relieve anxiety in yours. Here are five reasons I believe that you do not have to worry about what other people think of you.

#1. First, you do not have to worry about what other people think of you because most of the time, they are not thinking about you at all. Just as you often spend a lot of time worrying about what other people are thinking of you, most people worry about the same thing. So they are actually not thinking of you–rather, they are thinking about themselves and worrying about whether they look okay to you and everyone else. Or they are probably thinking about other things such as their hopes, dreams, fears, romances, and plans for pizza on the weekend.

Most of us think about ourselves about 95% of the time and other people 5% of the time. This is not so much a criticism of humanity as an observation of the human condition. On the one hand, being absorbed with ourselves can be really self-centered. On the other hand, many times when we think about ourselves, we are just trying to figure out how to make it through life. So, the next time you are worried that people are constantly scrutinizing you and observing all of your failures, realize that everyone else is almost certainly worrying about the same thing and thinking about what is going on in their own lives instead. (Here is something you can say to yourself when you are worried about what other people think: People are usually thinking about their own lives, not scrutinizing me.)

#2. The second reason you do not have to worry about what other people think is because what people think about you says much more about them than it says about you. Sometimes people are thinking about you and judging you. It is true. But what they think about you is a reflection of their inner life, not a reflection of you. Imagine if you had a dirty window, and you were looking at the world through that window. The dirtier the window is, the dirtier the world appears to you. This is the same way with our hearts (or you can think of it as your mind). When our hearts are filled with fear, hate, rage, insecurity, and prejudice, this definitely clouds our perception of people and events in the world.

This is not so much a judgment, as it is an observation. Just as we cannot properly see out a cloudy window, we cannot see clearly out of a cloudy heart (and we all have cloudy hearts sometimes). When people judge us harshly and think cruel and demeaning things about us, it is because they are looking at us with a cloudy heart.

When people have a clear heart (like a clear window), they are able to look at the world with compassion. A clear, compassionate heart recognizes the light in everyone. It realizes everyone in the world suffers, and everyone is trying to do the best they can.

A compassionate heart certainly recognizes that people do bad and stupid things sometimes (or even a lot of times). A compassionate heart also recognizes that often when people do bad and stupid things, it is because they are aiming for good goals in an unskillful way. For example, most of us are searching for love and safety. These are our two biggest desires, and they are good desires.

However, sometimes we pursue love and safety in misguided ways. For instance, we might think that in order for us to be safe, we must hate other people and be violent to or discriminatory towards them. As another example, we might believe that in order to get love, we must compromise our values or become a different person than who we really are.

These beliefs are a result of bad and misguided attempts to aim for good goals. A compassionate heart honors everyone and their suffering. This does not mean that we must excuse or subject ourselves to people’s bad behavior in the name of compassion. Rather, it suggests that when our heart is clear and we look at everyone through the eyes of compassion, we always try to see what is best in them and what we all have in common (namely our desire to find safety and love and to avoid suffering), and we treat them accordingly. We do not judge them harshly.

When we remember this, we better understand that when people think badly of us, it is often because their heart is cloudy. We don’t have to excuse it, but we can understand it. It really is not about us; it is about them. (Here is something you can say to yourself when you are worried about what people think: People’s thoughts about me are almost always a reflection of them–not of me.)

#3. The third reason you do not have to worry about what people think of you is because it is perfectly normal to make mistakes. One of the things I used to worry about the most is that I would make a mistake, and people would think badly of me. You may worry about this, too. It is important to understand, though, that mistakes are a perfectly normal and acceptable (and even good) part of life. Mistakes are actually how we learn, and there are some things that we absolutely cannot learn except through trial and error.

Drawing pictures is a really good example of why mistakes are necessary and even encouraged. When I am drawing, there is definitely an idea I am trying to communicate, and many times it is something I have never tried to communicate before. So, to be honest, I do not know exactly what I am doing. I just have to try the idea out, see how it looks, make mistakes, and adjust accordingly. (At the end of this post, you can see a picture I originally drew for this essay that is full of mistakes. Those mistakes enabled me to draw a better picture.)

All of life is like that. Every single moment of your life is a brand new moment that no one has ever experienced before because no one has ever been you in your exact circumstances. So, while people can give you general advice about how to live–e.g. look both ways before you cross the road; don’t hit people; bathe regularly, etc.–no one can tell you exactly what you are supposed to do in all of the moments of your life. You just have to live your life and figure it out, and that entails mistakes. You could avoid mistakes if you locked yourself in your room and never left (and we all want to do this sometimes), but that would not be you living your life. We need you in the world, and it is okay if you make mistakes. If people judge you for making mistakes, they are not being realistic or mature about the human condition. (Here is something you can say to yourself when you are worried about what other people think: Making mistakes is perfectly normal and even encouraged. They help me learn to live my life well.)

#4. The fourth reason that you do not have to worry about what other people think is because it is impossible to please judgmental people. As I mentioned before, there certainly are judgmental people who spend time thinking about and criticizing what people wear, what they think, what they say, etc. It is understandable why you worry about what these people think–we all do sometimes. However, it is important to understand that you will never, ever be able to please judgmental people no matter how hard you try and no matter what you do–not even if you are perfect.

Judgmental people are almost always judgmental because, no matter how together they appear, they are insecure, fearful, and they have poor self-confidence. They use judgment and criticism as a defense mechanism. Judging everyone else helps to take their mind off of their own perceived failing. So, you do not have to try to please judgmental people because judgmental people need to address their own insecurity, fears, and inability to love and accept themselves. (And if you are reading this, and you know you are a judgmental person, I wish you peace and freedom from suffering. I’ve been judgmental before, too. Check out the end of this post for another article you can read about how to show yourself more compassion.)

#5. The fifth reason you do not have to worry about what other people think is because there is only one person whose opinion about your life really matters: your own. Your life is an absolutely original and unique event. You are the expert on your life because you are the closest person to you, and you are the person who knows best your hopes, your dreams, your talents, your limitation, and all that you have been through in life. No one has better expertise than you to tell you how to live your life, and so other people’s opinions do not really matter unless you decide they do.

For instance, you may decide that someone knows more than you in a certain area you are interested in pursuing (for instance, becoming healthier or learning a new hobby), and so you ask them for advice. That is perfectly fine. But in the end, you must decide if you will follow their advice. You could unquestioningly do what everyone else tells you to do, but if their advice is not right for you, you will live an inauthentic and unhappy life. You ultimately must be the decider of what is best for you and how you are going to live your life. So your opinion about your life is the most important one and the only one that really counts in the end. (Here is something you can tell yourself when you are worried about what people think: I am the best person to decide if I am living my life well or not.)

In the end, you do not have to worry about what other people think. You only need to worry about one thing: compassion. Are you being compassionate to yourself, and are you being compassionate to others? If you are being compassionate to yourself and others, you will be present, gentle, responsive, clear-thinking, and wise. This puts you in the best possible position to fix any mistakes you need to fix, to know the right path to take, and to know how to help others. And you do not even have to worry about whether you are being compassionate, you can just consistently set an intention to be compassionate, and you are already on the right path. (Here is something you can tell yourself when you are worried about what people think: There is only one thing I need to care about: whether I am living a compassionate life.)

It is normal to worry about what people think, but in the end, it causes us a lot of grief, and it is unnecessary. The only thing we need to concern ourselves with is whether we are living a life of compassion. Everything else needed will follow.

If you would like to learn more about cultivating compassion for yourself, you can read about it here.

I told you I would show you a drawing mistake I made. Below is a picture I originally drew and painted for this post. When I finished it, I decided it was a mistake. I did not like how the girl looks lying flat on her face, and even though I think llamas are adorable and originally believed I needed one in this post, my orange llama just was not working for me. So, I redrew this picture concept and drew the one above with the butterfly and the girl sitting down with her hands clasped around her knees. I liked that one a lot better. Still, I am really grateful for the mistake I made in this picture. Had I not drawn it and decided it was a mistake, I would not have drawn the other one. And I really do like llamas, so one will probably show up in another post.

Mim xx

INSPIRATION 

https://bestofnatureblog.wordpress.com

The past is over. It can touch me not.

“Father, let me not look upon a past that is not there. For You have offered me Your Own replacement, in a present world the past has left untouched and free of sin. Here is the end of guilt. And here am I made ready for Your final step. Shall I demand that You wait longer for Your Son to find the loveliness You planned to be the end of all his dreams and all his pain?” (ACIM Lesson 289 2:1-5).

Author Byron Katie, and creator of The Work, says, “Who would you be without your story?” This brilliant question is primarily asking us to notice where in our consciousness are we still holding ourselves hostage. Where do we continue to hold onto our past, allowing it create our present situation and future?

There is only this moment. There is nothing else. In this moment we can choose to see Reality or we can choose to see a world based on previous moments, the past. Letting go of the past is something that affects us all. Whether you had a wonderful past experience that you wish was still in the present or whether you experienced something traumatic and can’t seem to find healing, the past is tough to let go of and in this, we can all understand one another’s plight. Regardless of the reason, the Reality of it is the past is no longer here, which is a gift. It is the gift that enables us to continue to choose again. Our past does not determine Who and What we are. We can choose anew in each moment, recommitting our lives to peace and love.

The beauty in moving beyond the past is that we can take the lessons we learned and apply them to this moment. Our previous choices cannot hold us back, but can harness the gift to motivate us to move forward in a new, different, or perhaps, even deeper way.

A dear friend of mine is returning to New Zealand soon. It is not her home country but she has residency there and can return whenever she wishes. She excited to move back but also has the attitude, “If things don’t work out, I can always come back home to France.” This is the beauty of choosing again with evolved awareness. Sometimes, we may want to revisit an option from the past because we have learned that it may suit us better at this stage of the journey. It does not mean that we fully return to the past but rather we learn from the past and revisit it anew. It is also true that if something does not work out, we are free to choose again…and again…and again. The point being, we are never stuck or trapped. We are free to flow throughout this world as we wish. As Children of God, our gift is our freedom and Lesson 289 inspires us to live in just that manner, free.

INSPIRATION 

INSPIRATION 

wp-image-1826896245

 

Written by Millionaire’s Digest Staff Member: Amber M.

Founder & Owner of: A Not So Jaded Life

Millionaire’s Digest Staff Team, Author, Successful Living and Writing Writer

It’s no secret that The Secret was and still is the best-selling 2006 self-help book written by Rhonda Byrne. Empowering many with the Law of Attraction, here are some quotations from The Secret that will inspire and motivate you.

1. We all work with one infinite power.
2. The Secret is the Law of Attraction (LOA).
3. Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting.
4. We are like magnets – like attract like. You become AND attract what you think.
5. Every thought has a frequency. Thoughts send out a magnetic energy.
6. People think about what they don’t want and attract more of the same.
7. Thought = creation. If these thoughts are attached to powerful emotions (good or bad) that speeds the creation.
8. You attract your dominant thoughts.
9. Those who speak most of illness have illness, those who speak most of prosperity have it, etc.
10. It’s not “wishful” thinking.
11. You can’t have a universe without the mind entering into it.
12. Choose your thoughts carefully. You are the masterpiece of your life.
13. It’s OK that thoughts don’t manifest into reality immediately (if we saw a picture of an elephant and it instantly appeared, that would be too soon).
14. EVERYTHING in your life you have attracted. Accept that fact. It’s true.
15. Your thoughts cause your feelings.
16. We don’t need to complicate all the “reasons” behind our emotions. It’s much simpler than that. Two categories: good feelings, bad feelings.
17. Thoughts that bring about good feelings mean you are on the right track. Thoughts that bring about bad feelings mean you are not on the right track.
18. Whatever it is you are feeling, is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming.
19. You get exactly what you are FEELING.
20. Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances.
21. You can begin feeling whatever you want (even if it’s not there). The universe will correspond to the nature of your song.
22. What you focus on with your thoughts and feelings is what you attract into your experience.
23. What you think and what you feel and what actually manifests is ALWAYS a match – no exception.
24. Shift your awareness.
25. “You create your own universe as you go along.” –Winston Churchill
26. It’s important to feel good ( ( ( (((good))) ) ) ).
27. You can change your emotion immediately… by thinking of something joyful, or singing a song, or remembering a happy experience.
28. When you get the hang of this, before you know it, you will KNOW you are the creator.
29. Life can and should be phenomenal …and it will be when you consciously apply the Law of Attraction
30. Universe will re-arrange itself accordingly.
31. Start by using this sentence for all of your wants: “I’m so happy and grateful now that… ”
32. You don’t need to know HOW the universe is going to rearrange itself.
33. LOA is simply figuring out for yourself what will generate the positive feelings of having it NOW.
34. You might get an inspired thought or idea to help you move towards what you want faster.
35. The universe likes SPEED. Don’t delay, don’t second-guess, don’t doubt.
36. When the opportunity or impulse is there …ACT!
37. You will attract everything you require – money, people, connections…PAY ATTENTION to what’s being set in front of you.
38. You can start with nothing…and out of nothing or no way – a WAY will be provided.
39. HOW LONG??? No rules on time…the more aligned you are with positive feelings the quicker things happen.
40. Size is nothing to the universe (unlimited abundance if that’s what you wish). We make the rules on size and time.
41. No rules according to the universe… you provide the feelings of having it now and the universe will respond.
42. Most people offer the majority of their thought in response to what they are observing (bills in the mail, being late, having bad luck…etc.)
43. You have to find a different approach to what is through a different vantage point.
44. “All that we are is a result of what we have thought” – Buddha
45. What can you do right now to turn your life around?? Gratitude.
46. Gratitude will bring more into our lives immediately.
47. What we think about and THANK about is what we bring about.
48. What are the things you are grateful for?? Feel the gratitude…focus on what you have right now that you are grateful for.
49. Play the picture in your mind – focus on the end result.
50. VISUALIZE!!! Rehearse your future.
51. VISUALIZE!!! See it, feel it! This is where action begins
52. Feel the joy… feel the happiness!
53. An affirmative thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative one.
54. “What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists.” Alexander Graham Bell
55. Our job is not to worry about the “How.” The “How” will show up out of the commitment and belief in the “what.”56. The “Hows” are the domain of the universe. It always knows the quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream.
57. If you turn it over to the universe, you will be surprised and dazzled by what is delivered. This is where magic and miracles happen.
58. Turn it over to the universe daily (but it should never be a chore).
59. Feel exhilarated by the whole process! (High, happy, in tune)
60. The only difference between people who are really living this way is they have habituated ways of being.
61. They remember to do it all the time.
62. Create a Vision Board… pictures of what you want to attract… every day look at it and get into the feeling state of already having acquired these wants.
63. “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
64. Decide what you want, believe you can have it, believe you deserve it, believe it’s possible for you!
65. Close your eyes and visualize having what you already want – and the feeling of having it already.
66. Focus on being grateful for what you have already. Enjoy it!! Then release into the universe. The universe will manifest it.
67. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve” W. Clement Stone
68. Set a goal so big that if you achieved it, it would blow your mind.
69. When you have an inspired thought, you must trust it and act on it.
70. How can you become more prosperous?? INTEND IT!!
71. ‘Checks are coming in the mail regularly’… or change your bank statement to whatever balance you want in there… and get behind the feeling of having it.
72. Life is meant to be abundant in ALL areas.
73. Go for the sense of inner joy and peace then all outside things appear.
74. We are the creators of our universe.
75. Relationships: Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others. Love yourself and you will be loved.
76. Have a healthy respect for yourself.
77. For those you work with or interact with regularly. Get a notebook and write down positive aspects of each of those people.
78. Write down the things you like most about them (don’t expect change from them). Law of attraction will not put you in the same space together if you frequencies don’t match.
79. When you realize your potential to feel good, you will ask no one to be different in order for you to feel good.
80. You will free yourself from the cumbersome impossibilities of needing to control the world, your friends, your mate, your children.
81. You are the only one that creates your reality.
82. No one else can think or feel for you. Its YOU …ONLY YOU.
83. Health: thank the universe for your own healing. Laugh, stress free happiness will keep you healthy.
84. Immune system will heal itself.
85. Parts of our bodies are replaced every day, every week…etc… Within a few years we have a brand new body.
86. See yourself living in a new body. Hopeful = recovery. Happy = happier biochemistry. Stress degrades the body.
87. Remove stress from the body and the body regenerates itself. You can heal yourself!
88. Learn to become still…and take your attention away from what you don’t want, and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
89. When the voice and vision on the inside become more profound and clear than the opinions on the outside, then you have mastered your life.
90. You are not here to try to get the world to be just as you want it. You are here to create the world around you that you choose.
91. And allow the world as others choose to see it, exist as well.
92. People think that if everyone knows the power of the LOA there won’t be enough to go around. This is a lie that’s been ingrained in us and makes so many greedy.
93. The truth is there is more than enough love, creative ideas, power, joy, happiness to go around.
94. All of this abundance begins to shine through a mind that is aware of it’s own infinite nature. There’s enough for everyone. See it. Believe it. It will show up for you.
95. So let the variety of your reality thrill you as you choose all the things you want. Get behind the good feelings of all your wants.
96. Write your script. When you see things you don’t want, don’t think about them, write about them, talk about them, push against them, or join groups that focus on the don’t wants… remove your attention from don’t wants…and place them on do wants
97. We are mass energy. Everything is energy. EVERYTHING.
98. Don’t define yourself by your body. It’s the infinite being that’s connected to everything in the universe.
99. One energy field. Our bodies have distracted us from our energy. We are the infinite field of unfolding possibilities. The creative force.
100. Are your thoughts worthy of you? If not – NOW is the time to change them. You can begin right where you are right now. Nothing matters but this moment and what you are focusing your attention on.

Article Credits: Amber M.

Millionaire’s Digest Staff Team, Author

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