Famous Poets

Mystic POET

“IF ONLY I HAD BEEN BORN – DIFFERENTLY?!?!” a poem a.k.a.: “You KNOW I Really, Really Would Miss Girls If They Weren’t Around – AND – I Would Miss Guys Too – Can’t Live With ‘Em; Can’t Live Without “Em!!” Tues. – Oct. 16, 2018

IF only I could-a-been – BORN – a WOMAN! Then-maybe-I’d-be-OK!!

But NO!!!! The Lord of Hosts didn’t “bless me,” so, for my “maleness” in life,

I’ll “pay!”

I’m so guilty! disgusted! IF ONLY – a sex change operation I could afford,

BUT! I’m-a (dare I say it) “poor” GUY! one-of-the-vile-unwashed horde!

Women! are-so-wise and-so-kind and-know -what-to-do-and-say;

Oh, Ye women of The World! You must be so happy and gay,

To have been – born – The correct and proper gender,

God must be OVERJOYED – when She makes a girl & says: “Let’s send-her!

Let’s send out another of our perfect, human gals,

Compared to (yuck) GUYS! Girls are such stable, good pals:

THEY LOVE ANIMALS* – to read and write –

And they are so decent and peaceful – and-don’t-put-up-a-fight,**


Those “necessary”(?) evils – who eat turkeys and hams!!

Why are men even necessary? Well, I guess they’re suitable for (occasional) BREEDING,

But -they’re so obnoxious – and hard-headed (and secretive) – and often – misleading –

Yet! They’re good – I mean, sort-of (I guess)

For: changing-light-bulbs-killing-big-bugs-and-cleaning-up-THE-MESS,

Left – by perfect women, once they have clawed one another to tears,

And have cursed their “unsightly” bodies – and-are quivering with fears,

Of what will come next? And – How can we guarantee, comfort & clean air,

And what to do w/ horny men,***uncontrollable emotions &-days-of-bad-hair!


But, SORRY! I-gotta-leave! ‘cause dinner-might-get-cold-and-I-gotta-try-to-get-me-some-weekend-dates,

With – a disgusting man – any-disgusting-man-my-inspection-will-”pass,”

‘Cause no woman’ll have me; I’m (just) a whimpering – jack-ass! 🙂 – hee-haw!

fin <3 [Remember: This is ALL about MY inner demons, my anima and my animals and my perverted perspective (can you say that five times, really fast?) on life, and all sorts of stuff – that makes me The Quaking Ma(e)ss of Manhood I Have Pitifully Become! 🙂 -burp!]

* – except spiders and snakes and mice and worms and mean animals and fleas and flies and ants in your pants and – some others

** – until menopause strikes – or that monthly things that we can’t talk about – or

*** – when women simply AREN’T!!


Life is like a bunch of roses. Some sparkle like raindrops. Some fade when there's no sun. Some just fade away in time. Some dance in many colors. Some drop with hanging wings. Some make you fall in love. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Life you can be sure of, you will not get out ALIVE.(sorry about that)