“LATELY!” a poem 7 July 2019 (Sunday)
Well, Here-I-AM! Wherehave-I-been?
I’m just-a LATE-GUY, once again!
I really intended – to be here right early,
But THEN! I-decided: “Well, I REALLY-need-my-teeth-ies-[t’-be]-white-&-pearly!”
So, I brushed ’em very quickly – and I threw upon my shirt,
But THEN: My bladder! just-a-little-bit did-hurt!
So, I said: “Just a QUICK pee! It won’t take long!”
So, I went tinkle, tinkle, as I sang a little song!
And, as I sang-I-thought: “Man! Who wrote that?
I’m SURE I know!” So, I just quickly grabbed The [Mouse] Mat,
And-googled: “Songs-with-lyrics that have the word STINK!”
Of course! THE-J. Geils’ Band, singing-’bout “red-n-blue-n-pink!”
And, as was sitting-at-the-screen, you-know – one-of-those-ads-flashed-on:
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“COME TICKLE MY PINK!” from Delta Dawn,
A high class Internet stripper and a girl,**
But I SAID: “No thanks! I’ve-a-date; [maybe]-later-for-‘a-whirl!’ “**
But, I QUICKLY switched off that screen, as Papa Sam walked in!
“Are you hungry?” “No, thanks!” “Well, BUT-STILL-here’s-some-din-din!”
So, I took a quick bite – It took (maximum) 3 minutes, or ten,
But I KNEW TIME WAS TICKIN’ – and I’ve got the strongest yen!
To-be with-My-Honey, but -NOT-with-unflossed-gums,
So, I quickly flossed! Then! I-had-to race for the Tums,
‘Cause my little tummy-wummy was-upset by the quick snack,
Then, I GOT A TEXT FROM YOU: “You’re LATE!”
Of HAVING GOOD INTENTIONS TO BE ON TIME, FOR SURE;
Then “this-and-that” “come up!” You-know: Life-can-be-a-blur!
So, I think that the only way to REALLY BE ON TIME,
Is-to: DISMISS ANY-THING THAT-MIGHT-IMPEDE-THIS-RHYME!
IF the phone rings! or-the-toilet-over-flows,
Or IF my hair needs combing, well, THE WISE MAN KNOWS,
These things, they-can-wait, for I need your kiss to-night,
And – DANG-IT, I’ll-be-on-time,
- – I think!
** – NO! I NEVER said that! Obviously! Everyone that knows me KNOWS I would NEVER say that! 🙂 – Jeez!