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HEALTHY LIFESTYLE ~ MASTURBATING QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Q: I feel guilty 100% of the time after masturbating—regardless of if I viewed porn or not. I know this is likely the result of a religious upbringing and even though I wouldn’t consider myself religious anymore the guilt remains. Even into my late teens, my parents would turn off the TV whenever a women’s underwear ad (such as Victoria’s Secret) was on. I know this guilt is irrational and would like advice on how to train myself to feel good about what’s natural; I figure if I was conditioned to feel guilt there must be a way to recondition myself and rid myself of these negative feelings. I do not allow porn and masturbation to get in the way of any necessary activities, I only enjoy them during my free time; I know procrastination isn’t the reason for my guilt. Any insight and advice you could provide would be incredibly welcomed!

A: Isn’t it amazing how our upbringing could have such an impact on our views of sexuality, even though rationally we do not hold these beliefs? You are not alone! Unfortunately, it is rather common for someone who was brought up to believe that masturbation and sex before marriage are sinful to develop hang-ups about sex, usually involving lots of guilt and shame around their sexuality. There is no easy fix, however, you will have to work at changing the family narrative around sexuality. In other words, this doesn’t have to be your story. Try writing down all of your actual beliefs about sex, all the positives, etc., and make sure you read it often, especially before and after any sexual activity. It will take some time and practice, but over time, it is possible to change our sexual scripts.

    By ace101

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