How blest the land that counts among Her sons so many good and wise,
To execute great feats of tongue When troubles rise.
Behold them mounting every stump, By speech our liberty to guard.
Observe their courage-see them jump,
And come down hard! ‘Walk up, walk up!’ each cries aloud, ‘And learn from me what you must do
To turn aside the thunder cloud,
The earthquake too.
‘Beware the wiles of yonder quack Who stuffs the ears of all that pass.
I alone can show that black Is white as grass.’
They shout through all the day and break
The silence of the night as well.
I wish they’d go and make–
Of Heaven a Hell.
A advocates free silver,
B Free trade and C free banking laws.
Free board, clothes, lodging would from me
Win warm applause.
Lo, D lifts up his voice: ‘You see The single tax on land would fall On all alike.’
More evenly No tax at all.
‘With paper money,’ bellows E,
‘We’ll all be rich as lords.’ No doubt– And richest of the lot will be
The chap without.
As many ‘cures’ as addle-wits Who know not what the ailment is!
Meanwhile the patient foams and spits
Like a gin fizz.
Alas, poor Body Politic,
Your fate is all too clearly read:
To be not altogether quick, p
Nor very dead.
You take your exercise in squirms,
Your rest in fainting fits between.
‘Tis plain that your disorder’s worms
Worms fat and lean.
Worm Labor dwell
Within your maw and muscle’s scope.
Their quarrels make your life a Hell,
Your death a hope.
Godsend you to find not such an end To ills however sharp and huge!
Godsend you to convalesce! Godsend You vermifuge.
~ The Statesmen – Ambrose Bierce
Editors note: No one man is greater than his Nation perhaps