Cpt. Jack Sparrow

Cpt. Jack Sparrow ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ

Onย their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemakingย encounter.

In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.ย 
ย ย 
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cuteย way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals thatย sheย needed.ย 
ย ย 
Arrivingย home around noon one day, she wasย surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.ย 
ย ย 
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporateย downsizing, and he had been let go.ย 

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he’d be able to find another position that paid anywhere near whatย he’d been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.ย 
ย ย 
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly $1 million.

Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had โ€˜chargedโ€™ him for sex,  these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

 Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, ‘If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!’ 
That’s when she shot him. . . .I know, I didn’t see this coming either . . . 

You know, sometimes, men just donโ€™t know when to keep their mouths shut.

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often, BUT push the wrong button and you are disconnected!


By Kindness

Life is like a bunch of roses. Some sparkle like raindrops. Some fade when there's no sun. Some just fade away in time. Some dance in many colors. Some drop with hanging wings. Some make you fall in love. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Life you can be sure of, you will not get out ALIVE.(sorry about that)