Category Archives: “Diary of a Madman”

Unknown Author who has been to hell and back . Survived against all odds.

* – No good around here, at least for you! :) – “Attitude adjustments?” The Mystic Poet😁

“ALL THE LOVE!” a poem February 17, 2019 [Sunday]


If you don’t see no miracles, then SEEK OUT “A SAINT,”

For-directions-to-the-nearest-church! and, when-(s)he-says-(s)he-“don’t know,”

Ask yourself: “HOW-CAN-THAT-BE-SO?

For-(s)he’s-A-SAINT, canonized – just last week?

NO! Last week, “they” crucified him [her] – for-being A FREAK,

And PLENTY OBSCENE, for-(s)he-lacks-clothes and-a-bank-account,

With-“friends”-who-say: “What’s-the-matter-[with-you]? Will-you-never-amount,


“But! I think that: TO BLESS is as good-as-TO-DAMN!



fin <3😆

* – No good around here, at least for you! 🙂 – “Attitude adjustments?” The Mystic Poet😁

Oh my, honey 💥 I don’t eat much, I’m free to touch, pick me 😁😊



Is this the TRUTH you seek
Leads you to taking
Your Money
Your Brain
Your Family
Until the victim is a former broken version of self

Be Warned 🎭
Dangers Of Cult
Then run 💣
Walk with those seeking Truth
Run from those who think
they're found it
The day you were conceived 
You held the secret of Truth and Freedom
Already equipped in your Deno
Truth, Kindness, Self-knowledge was planted 
Like a seed in your soul to grow and nourish
your heart
Seeking truth is a responsibility within yourself 
Not the Lord
HE gifted you a blessed gift of life 
Do not find Truth 
It always within 
You are the master of your life
Never allow any man to steal your truth 
You are the truth 🕊

Once a spiritual awakening

Is recognised within

Every happening can be perceived

As a spiritual growth within

Freedom and Truth

Calmness ~ Peace


Victims of Cults

A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be

As soon as you’re born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool
Till you’re so fucking crazy you can’t follow their rules

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

When they’ve tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can’t really function you’re so full of fear

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you’re so clever and classless and free
But you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
There’s room at the top they’re telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me
If you want to be a hero well just follow me…John Lennon

Working Class Man

Albert Einstein

Meditation and intellectual performance
Albert Einstein, arguably the greatest of all physicists brain was preserved for a short time after his death in 1955. However, while a number of photographs were taken, the full set of images did not surface till 2005.
In 2012, with the power of modern technology, Dr. Dean Falk headed a Florida State University research team that compared Einstein’s brain images to those of 85 average human brains.
It was found that Einstein’s prefrontal cortex was unique, being unusually dense in Grey matter and having an extensive surface area relative to the average human brain.
Our prefrontal cortex orchestrates the brain’s thoughts and emotions, is the complex planner, deep thinker, and high level decision maker. In effect, it is the engine room of the intellect.
A landmark 2005 study by Harvard neuroscientist Dr. Sara Lazar found that experienced mediators had much more neural density, thickness, folds, and electrical activity within their prefrontal cortex.
To compound this amazing discovery, Dr. Lazar found that the more meditation experience a person had, the more highly developed their prefrontal cortex.
Another unique feature of Einstein’s brain was the bridge connecting his left and right hemispheres, the ‘corpus callosum’. It is thought to be responsible for his immense creativity, which allowed him to innovate physics to such a degree. The same Lazar research demonstrated a thickening of the corpus callosum in mediators.



“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” from “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte — British Novelist born on April 21, 1816, died on March 31, 1855

Frederick Carl Frieseke (1874-1939) ~ The Birdcage, ca. 1910,


“The most beautiful people we have known
are those who have known defeat, known suffering,
known struggle, known loss, and have found
their way out of the depths. These persons
have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and
an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen.”~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


“we are not going that way”

Mystery Author😁

“THE TIME TO NOT PREPARE!” 12/2/18 (Sunday)

NOW is the time; (it) ALWAYS HAS BEEN;

You can’t lose – ‘cause you’ve GOT the win;

Just that you’re HERE, means you’re VICTORIOUS;

Prepare The Way! Make it SO glorious – – –

Make it simple, to banish despair;

IF YOU WANT TO COME, you haven’t a care,

For-that-very-desire – is YOUR TICKET, My Friend!

GOD BLESS THE “FRETTERS!” (Do-you comprehend?)

I love you more – than ever you’ll know.

Now, F. S. – are you ready to go?

But – that’s just it – YOU’RE ALREADY THERE!

JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE! Isn’t that fair?!

fin ❤


By golly, this Author must be on something 😆😓😁😂


Author, please fill out the questioner above


Broken Soul 💥

Age 41 – Robin calls – Re-marriage possible
(Rush right in, but scary, but relieved
can be in “normal” society again)
Age 41 – Teeth Redone
Age 41 – Midland – Collapse Imminent – MUST
Find Job or else –
Age 41 – Dental Appts – Dental Fear F
Trapped w/Poisoned Fillings

Age 42 – LAW CASE: Woman: Welfare to JAIL

Age 43 – To Montana – GRAMA: GUITAR

Age 45 – Encounter group – Sterling Group (like EST)
Freaked out – collapsed – ASSHOLES – Fear
for Omitama Safety

Age 46 – 9/11 Sexual Assault Case?

Age 47 – Must leave Midland fear

Age 48 – Austin – Lots of Sex – Trying to balance Fear
Life w/giving okiyome
Age 48 – Classroom Phone Call
Age 48 – ROBIN v. MAHIKARI (She’s bad.)
Age 48 – Drugs from Steve
Age 48 – Bi-polar symptoms
(Barking Dog)

Age 49 – Austin – You’re Depressed – Wellbutrin
DALLAS – – – Alpine
Age 49 – CRANE: You’re bi-polar Anti-Ds & Thyroid meds
Sungazing – Desperate (escape drugs) (Sluggish)

Age 50 – Montana Trip – Rib Hurt
Age 50 – One Client – Psychiatric –
(in Judge’s Chambers) Guilt (10)
Age 50 – Monty Dies – Divorced – Root Canal S – A – F – H (10)
imminent (time to crash)
Age 50 – 2nd Divorce – touched!
Age 50 – August – stopped going to UU Church S (10)
Age 50 – Stopped music group – UU Church S – A – F – H (5)
Age 50 – 52 – “House Arrest”

Age 51 – Mouth infected – Fear of Poison
for Rest of Life

Age 53 – Dental Redo – Big Spring – Bleed ALL Night – Told DAD I was dying
after: Stanley – sATANLEY
Mental Hospital

Age 54 – Throw into WORK, CHOIRS, “Life(?)”

“Diary of a Madman” beginnings, this is, as best I can recall, how the journal starts: Now this is a new beinging. Sweet as 😁😁😁😁

Congratulations my Dear Freind for surviving those dark times of terror. The strength you found in the depth of anguish😔 isolation were harrowing. A journey faced by many poor Broken Souls that are unable to survive the darkest only seen in the depths beyond grief never to be back. This story uniquely defies the odds with deep outstanding of self. So proud to be a part of this journey back to the living a joyest life with loved ones. On and upwards we run hand in hand to the highest Peace 🕊🕊


Go in the direction of your greatest happiness. (This is referencing the EFT Tapping procedure I was experimenting with at the time!) (1) AIM AT THE TRANCE; (2) TAP IT OUT TO WHERE THE MEMORY (ROOT) CHANGES. (This is a basic suggested sequence!) YOU ARE – THEY ARE . . . YOU LOVE ______ . . . YOU’RE JUST LIKE ______ . . . THEY’RE HERE NOW . . . GIVE WORST SCENARIO . . . PLAY “IT” OUT . . . SAY WHAT HAD BEEN SAID TO THEM . . . SAY/FEEL THE WORST . . . SAY WHAT THEY THINK THE WORLD’S SAYING ABOUT THEM (HOW DO YOU KNOW?) (CAN YOU MAKE IT COME BACK?) IF YOU STILL HAVE EMOTIONS, KEEP TAPPIN’ UNTIL YOU HAVE PEACE


“Has worked for others on the…

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Texas Cowboy

“THE MAN WHO LOOKED FOR BETTER THAN GOOD ENOUGH!” a poem a.k.a.: “If Everyone IS REAL Crazy, BUT You Don’t Care For Being Alone, You Better Get Crazy Too! Because Crazy Sometimes Beats Lonesome!” November 16, 2018 – Friday!

“I’m restless!” “I don’t know what to think!” “I FEEL alone!”

Said Mojo Jones (pause) who “had a bone,

To pick,” with-all-his-neighbor-folk!


When Jones would ask – WHY his neighbors believed THAT:

“Well, ‘twas good enough for Grampa,” said Ronnie McBlatt;

“It-was good ‘nough for pappy,” Sam Wallopee said “on the spot!

“Good enough for GOVERNMENT WORK,” said Willow, smokin’ pot;

“‘Twas good enough for 7 generations of us!”

Said Twila Florencio, and that girl could cuss!

But Mojo Jones – didn’t-want “good enough;”

He wanted BETTER! MUCH better! and Mojo was tough!

Jones searched for “better,” but not in a mosque or a shrine,

And he “poo-pooed” The Catholics – and – Saint Valentine!

Plus! Native American AND New Age – weren’t his “cup o’ tea!”

“The Galactic Commander(s) – can-come argue with me!!”

Said Mojo Jones – so he went off alone,

To some deserted island – and he picked clean his bone!

CLEAN! and he had no one to be around,

And he got REAL LONESOME, and he kissed The Ground!

He-came-back-to-our-town – with a new point of view:


fin ❤

Diary of a Mad Man 🕴🕴🕴🕴🕴

Page 70 – a list from DIARY OF A MADMAN, a.k.a.: “The Contented Heart!”

AGE 10 on Church Forced to Go – ACT OUT Help (10)
AGE 12 Cello – MUST DO IT
AGE 13 Shame – CURSED MAN – “Fuck You”
AGE 14 Cello – Forced to Perform (HELENA)
AGE 13 Basketball – knee H
AGE 13 Pool Near Drowning (Elkhorn)
AGE 13 Football TRAUMA – Schuler
AGE 13 BULLIES: in Dillon F
AGE 13 Wrestling Display Shame
AGE 13 DAD Shouts AT Truck Driver F

AGE 14 Methodist Summer Camp – Discrim. A

AGE 13 Hawaiian Trip – Trauma to prepare A-S-H-F (10)
AGE 17 Football Coach – Letter Jacket A-S-H-F ( )
AGE 14 on Debating – Overwhelmed – Loss-Win Shame
AGE 13 Bee Sting – Cello Recital
AGE 13 CAUGHT Stealing – “
AGE 13 Jealousy re: Sister – Teasing Her [She tolerates me] A
AGE 17 West Point Begins – Crying at FLAG Betrayed Self (10)
AGE 18 Called WUSS
AGE 18 Eccentric – Must Conform
AGE 19 KNEE hurt – operation
AGE 18 Poked in throat
AGE 20 LEFT – can’t handle it – FAILURE A-S-F
AGE 21 Boxing: Smoker – Failure- Knocked Out Shame
AGE 21 Beloved CAT – Beloved DOG – deaths H-A (S) (10)
AGE 20 – 23 (School Pressure – General Cello Etc)
AGE 20 1st encounter – Sexual W/WOMAN
AGE 22 – TRACK TRIP – Gena, pregnant Shock ( )
AGE 25 Law School
AGE 27 Graduate – Lost
Law School
AGE 28 D A – – – forced back to teaching H-A-S-F (10)
AGE 30 Stop Teaching – Failure – “Home”
AGE 30 Stop Being a Jew S-A-H-F (10)
AGE 32 6
AGE 32

Texas Cowboy

“OUR NUT HOUSE!” a poem November 10, 2018 – Saturday!

God bless this Nut House, and the-Chief-Nut’s me;

God bless this Nut House – and our dis har – mony!

God bless this Nut House – It’s filled with fun and hugs;

God bless this Nut House: What a bunch (pause) o’-THUGS!

No place I’d rather be; no place I would prefer,

Hanging at The Nut House, me and Raymond Burr,*

Trump AND Bill – and Pelosi** too! It’s a bloody menage-a-trois:

Whooping-it-up at The-White-House – (pause) – Ha! – Ha! – Ha!

Will Smith and Kermit*** – are s – – – – in’ in the loft;

I never knew that they were gay! My gosh, my Lover’s soft!

Her legs are wide, and I’m inside, and

Poof! I disappear,

And, suddenly, I’m at The Blues,**** sipping on a beer,

And singing karaoke! And-shuffle-board-at-Ole;*****

I’m independently wealthy (?) – so I guess they’ll make me pay,

For the other nuts – and berries, for Yogi Bear****** must feed!

Boo Boo Bear****** is happy, and Fozzie’s******in the lead,

And Darren Hayes and Darrell Hannah – are DARing-to-be-on-the-couch!

Wait a “sec;” I’m SURE he’s******* gay! I’m STRUCK, and I go: “Ouch!”

My lover gal’s behind me: “Stop oogling at Darrell’s chest;

I need you NOW! A special mantra – will bring out all the best!”

And Vance and Brian are chairing – The A. A. Group – to Hell,

For Jesus Christ is waiting there, and Satan will NOT tell,

That his nickname’s “Giggles;” his cabin’s on The Hill,

And Eve-&-Ellen have coffee brewing! “Behave, you guys!” until,

The WHOLE PLACE’s misbehaving – and my folks are getting wild!

My little sister – and her beau – are-singing: “Mercy mild!”

Bless this Nut House, with Facebook too: that computer-generated ruse,

‘Cause, when-you-be-stuck-in-The-Nut-House, Honey – Destiny can not lose,

And Hailey’s Comet – is coming – in just about a minute!

Plus, Nancy-&-Judith-&-and-Fawn are here, and Corey’s REALLY in-it,

And when-Jasmine-&-Reggie-meet-Ruben-&-Javi[er] sparks are gonna fly!

Crystal’s a gale – and-I-have-no-pail – to-gather-nuts-but I’l try! 🙂 – Whew!

fin ❤

    • actor, famous for playing tough guys, like TV defense lawyer Perry Mason!

** – Nancy Pelosi, net worth: $25 – $30 million!

*** – actor, famous for playing a tough frog, travelling as a minstrel, in search of love with a pig!

**** – The Railroad Blues, a nightclub in Alpine, Texas, U. S. A.

***** – Ole Crystal Bar, a nightclub also in Alpine!

****** – famous cartoon/animated/puppet bears!

******* – previously the lead singer for the rock group “Savage Garden!”

Mystic Cowboy

“IN THE SWEET BY AND BY!” a poem in the series: “Narcissism and Other Apparently Extraordinary Conditions!” Sunday: November 11, 2018

I used to be a GOOD boy; I shared in-everyone’s opinion;

I loved to-be called – and labeled often! Something like-a-”minion!”

I’d go along and sing a song, whichever one-THEY-did-like

Something-that’s-GOOD, and PURE-&-TRIED,

BUT, since-I’m-so-bad, how-can I decide,

What’s good or bad or green or red,

I’m so confused, in my “little head!”

IF I could-just-avoid all-the-DSMs,

I would be GOOD! Could-I-use-some-“chems” –

To smooth me out and get me right?

Clear! Straight! Neither loose-or-tight?

“You-gotta-be-well-balanced, in The Public Eye!”

Then! [I’ll] be GOOD-AGAIN! In-the-Sweet – By-and-By! 🙂

fin ❤