EDITOR’S COMMENTS
We do not condoned Pauline Hanson One Nation. Hate SPEACH
The heart of the Dandenong Ranges, this is Perrins creek road….a mystical place, full of intrigue and timelessness. I have been down this road on a few occasions and it seems to be there is always something new to find. Once you encounter this place, the memories never fade, nor does the longing to return….
❤
Australian Humour
Bless the Australians and their sense of humor.
These were posted on an Australian tourism website, and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)
________________________________________________ Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown, and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
__________________________________________________Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
__________________________________________________Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: Af-ri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aust-ra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not …
Oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south, and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________Q: Can I bring cutlery in to Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
__________________________________________________Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is …
Oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-ica, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.
__________________________________________________Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking __________________________________________________Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? ( )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.
EDITOR’S COMMENTS:
Many tourists from AMERICA arrive with a suitcase full of toilet paper 🤣
Tourists arrive at the Airport’s terminal refusing to enter taxis cause they all want to sit in the divers set 😂🤣
Americans can’t hire cars in Australia cause the can’t drive on the right side of the road 😂😁
LAYING PHONE LINES DARWIN/ALICE SPRINGS 1943.
🔸 Military personnel with their Ford Truck at work laying/repairing telephone lines between Darwin and Alice Springs.
(Argus Newspaper photo from the State Library of Victoria)
My heart goes out to those in Christchurch today is a sad day !
For all the World’s sanity
Terrorism in any form is evil !
Terrorism is not based on religion or race but the mental state of the person. We talk about it everyday Depression, Anxiety, well you have to have some sort of mental problems to be teaching your children hate or racism you see now where does it end ?
I heard someone at the gym this afternoon saying well an eye for an eye ! I STEPPED IN AND HAD SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT I tell you this ” love your neighbor bless those who persecute you, love those that hate you”
We will never see change if we as a people can’t respect each others beliefs and race.
Today someone’s father, mother son and daughter were taken away something needs to change !
Look at that amazing blue water at Mataranka Hot Thermal Pools in Bitter Springs, Australia
Bill Shorten is my Shepherd, I shall not want:
He will leadeth me beside still factories and abandoned farms.
He will restoreth my faith about the Liberal Party,
He will annointeth my wages with taxes and inflation,
So my expenses runneth over my income.
Surely poverty and hard living shall follow if Labor win
Five thousand years ago Moses said:
“Pack your Camels pick up your shovels, move your arses,
and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”
Five thousand years later Bill said:
“Lay down your shovels, sit on your arses, light up a joint. This is the Promised Land”.
Next election Bill could take your shovel, sell your camel,
kick your arse and tell you he gave away the Promise Land.
I’m glad I’m Australian, I’m glad I’m free.
But I wish I were a dog and Bill was a tree.
—
Inspiring thought David, sometimes in Australia we just need a little push 😁😂
Thank you happy that you share stuff 😁
Sweat as, thank you Ian 💥
Wonderful Ian for the opportunity to share inspiration from Australia
I would never say a truer word spoken – it has also happened here! Change America for Australia, change the names to the local left wing lunatics (Canberra political population), and there you have our own fortunes in a couple of paragraphs. Bushy (SA)
BILLY GRAHAM’S SON TELLS THE SAD TRUTH – COULDN'T HAVE BEEN SAID IT BETTER . . . .
“Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.”
Franklin Graham was speaking at the First Baptist Church in
Jacksonville, Florida, when he said America will not come back.
He wrote:
“The American dream ended on November 6th, 2012. The second term of Barack Obama has been the final nail in the coffin for the legacy of the white Christian males who discovered, explored, pioneered, settled and developed the greatest republic in the history of mankind.
A coalition of blacks, Latinos, feminists, gays, government, workers,
union members, environmental extremists, the media, Hollywood,
uninformed young people, the “forever needy,” the chronically
unemployed, illegal aliens and other “fellow travelers” have ended
Norman Rockwell’s America.
You will never again out-vote these people. It will take individual
acts of defiance and massive displays of civil disobedience to get
back the rights we have allowed them to take away. It will take zealots, not moderates and shy, not reach-across-the-aisle RINOs
(Republicans In Name Only) to right this ship and restore our beloved
country to its former status.
People like me are completely politically irrelevant, and I will
probably never again be able to legally comment on or concern myself with the aforementioned coalition which has surrendered our culture, our heritage and our traditions without a shot being fired.
The Cocker spaniel is off the front porch, the pit bull is in the back
yard, the American Constitution has been replaced with Saul Alinsky’s
“Rules for Radicals” and the likes of Chicago shyster David Axelrod
along with international socialist George Soros have been pulling the
strings on their beige puppet and have brought us Act 2 of the New
World Order.
The curtain will come down but the damage has been done, the story has been told.
Those who come after us will once again have to risk their lives,
their fortunes and their sacred honor to bring back the Republic that this generation has timidly frittered away due to white guilt and political correctness.”
READ THIS YOU WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE A BETTER LAUGH I PROMISE YOU. MY RIBS STILL HURT.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON
AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN.
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus’s birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types…Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’ have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn’t featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.
I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect.
Thank you Guys for an amazing sketch for our new flag. We are AUSTRALIANS of many races today. All my Brothers fought for Australians freedom from Suppression. Freedom is every person on Earth’s Birthright. The time for self rule is near. We did not lose our family for a flag, perhaps uniting as a symbol of a new flag and a new Australian Constitution we as a Nation may be One Nation of many races. To be unconditionally loyal to the way of Australian Law is a privilege not a right of passage. Our way of life in Australia is sacred. Every free Country has laws to protect you. Australia has very strong moral principles of Human rights dignity. Your duty to be an Australia is simple. Blend in, follow Australian Law and live within that Law we so protect. KINDNESS peace 🤝
"He's solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul" Psalm 62:1-2 (MSG).
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