“One wonders, whatever happened to purity? Whatever happened to that? Whatever happened to the days when girls said, I’m not going to be touched by every guy? I’m not going to walk down the aisle like a filthy dishrag on my wedding day. Whatever happened to that day?”
Probably dishes it out through an escort service and will soon be found out. These people tend to be perverted. Either that, or he wishes he was the opposite sex. I would keep an eye on him and the kids.
IN BREAKING NEWS: Australia Leaders of the English-speaking world united in a weird form of tag-team donnybrook this week to show that the Western tradition of strong principles & firm decision-making will always prevail in the end.
* In Washington, President Creosote proved unable to pronounce the word ‘origins’ , forgot where his father had been born, & blamed windmills for causing cancer. A White House spokesperson said the President had clearly been over-working & would probably have to spend the next month playing golf.
* In London, PM Ethel Strangler & Opposition Leader Jeremiah Hasbyn, both of whom have campaigned strenuously for years against leaving the EU, met in a hastily-arranged truce meeting to find a compromise so that Britain can leave the EU.
* In Canberra, Treasurer Josiah Greaseburger announced a record Budget surplus. The highly questionable figure was achieved by counting income yet to be generated, and by robbing the TAFE system and the National Disability Insurance Scheme of billions. The Murdoch media greeted the surplus with delight & claimed it would save millions of Mum & Dad investors from being forcibly converted to Islam.
* “Who cares about the numbers?” trumpeted the caretaker PM Pastor Scrote Morrison. “We’re back in the black!” It later transpired that the PM’s new slogan, and the advertisements featuring his stern but avuncular face, had been lifted verbatim from a 2014 campaign conducted by former NZ leader John Key. Pastor Morrison remained unconcerned when this blatant plagiarism was pointed out. “There are no new ideas in advertising, and if we had any new ideas we wouldn’t be Liberals, would we?”
* Parliament rushed through a hastily-drafted law threatening heavy fines for social media outlets which published violent footage. In its haste, however, the Senate decided not to expel or suspend an alleged Senator who had blamed the Muslim victims of the Christchurch massacre for having caused their own demise by migrating to New Zealand. “That’s not the Liberal way,” said PM Morrison in defending this curious tactic. “We believe a person should be free to express the most hateful ideas, as long as he votes for our side.”
* Beleaguered former Nationals boss Barnaby Drool told the Fox News program ‘Feminism for Farmers’ there were more than enough women on the conservative side of politics. “Some of us have more trouble than we can handle with the women in our lives, let me tell you,” the charismatic bumpkin laughed. “Tell me what, sweetheart. Come home with me after the show & I’ll give you all the trouble youse can handle. You’ll be so sore you won’t walk for a week.”
* Finally, One Nation founder Mrs Pauline Hater woke up in a hospital bed this week after emergency surgery. The procedure involved a small team of specialists & a ‘New Idea’ photographer. Doctors declined to comment on the operation, but it is understood large transfusions of electoral funding were required. Brain surgeons were not involved.😁😊🤣