In A Beginning WAS GOD, sitting there happily (and greedily) gnawing on a yummy fried pork chop,
And THEN Mrs. Claus came along, DEMANDING THAT HE STOP,
Saying: “You are a BARBARIAN; who do you think you ARE?”
“GOD,” He replied; (pause) “Well, you’ve gone too far,”
She said, “When you think you can just eat anything you please.”
So, She absconded with his yummy pork chop, which brought Him to His knees,
God said: “I’M SORRY; WHAT HAVE I DONE,
FOR IN EATING THAT POOR LITTLE PIGGIE, SINCE ‘WE ARE ALL ONE,’
I HAVE EATEN MYSELF, AND I AM, therefore, A CANNIB [A] L.”
From then on, She just brought Him dishes derived from The Vegeta ble,
Which truly was not too healthy for Him, although it was for HIS HORSE “NAG,”
Who was, like Mrs. Claus always “nagging” Him; anyway, he would BEG,
HIS WIFE (the Mrs.) for just ANY FLESHLY THING,
And, since She truly loved HIM, She offered herself; for God; much joy this did bring.
However, after He had dined (upon her) to his delight,
He would often fall asleep, AND on one spacious, cannibalistic NIGHT,
She yanked a rib bone out of His side,
And formed SATAN, who took Her as His bride.
You can see, at this point, the complexity of it all;
That is why The Genesis Account was VERYmuchABRIDED; eventually, Satan did call,
GOD a “cuckold,” a cannibalistic, old bird. (All this because God gave up meat.)
Satan, of course, ate everything in sight; He relished EACH FLESHLY TREAT,
Unbeknowst to Mrs. Claus, who loved to get her claws into Him,
Into SATAN, who eventually started the FIRM that sells theYUMMYjerky “Slim Jim.”
(Moral) Eat what your body wants; it knows what is best.
Eat vegetables now and then, but GIVE THESE DIETARY RESTRICTIONS a rest,
And REMEMBER: Your wife is “in league with any carnivorous, Devil man,”
Who will “fry her up” & cook some savory pork cutlets (or even beef) in a frying pan.
Limerick “Jesus Of Course, Was Also A Cannibal.” “You must eat my flesh and my blood,” / Said Jesus, (pause) “IfYouWannaBeMyBud.” / Otherwise, my Dear Dad, / Will be VERY sad, / And He’ll cry us an awful big flood.