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Domestic violence ends when respect begins

Domestic violence ends when respect begins

Domestic violence ends when respect begins

All too often when listening to the excuses of domestic abusers we hear them say “I just snapped and lost my temper” or “They had it coming because they cheated/disrespected/didn’t have dinner ready” or some other god forsaken pathetic excuse.

However sadly the actual assault or the argument leading to it is rarely the cause of domestic violence, the cause can often be traced back further than one argument. The cause is a lack of respect.

Respect is defined as treating others the way you yourself would like to be treated. Sounds really simple right ?

Also you might be wondering what domestic violence has to do with respect or treating others the way you want to be treated but I think the two are one in the same.

I’m not saying that everyone who doesn’t respect their partner is a domestic abuser not by a long shot, what I am saying is that domestic abuse would stop if both partners respected one another and their families enough to model correct behaviours at the very least.

So after hearing every excuse for domestic violence under the sun I have a challenge for the abusers who think its their partners fault or it was just an isolated incident, this challenge is very simple.

Ask yourself some questions, do you respect your partner ? I mean actually respect your partner ?

Here’s a few questions to ask yourself to see if you do

Have you sent a message to someone that you wouldn’t be happy if your partner sent to someone ? Its not an ambiguous question it’s pretty simple, have you sent someone a message that if your partner got or sent would make you upset ?

Do you have people on your social media “friends list” for no other reason other than you find them attractive ? Are you ok if your partner has people on their friends list just because they find them attractive ?

Have you ever isolated your partner from friends or family for whatever reason ? It didn’t have to be by directly saying “you cant speak to this person” (if it is that’s really not good) it could be by complaining when they speak to them or finding reasons they cant go out and meet them.

Have you ever cheated on your partner ? emotionally or physically (both count !)

Do you control the finances, now if there is a legitimate reason to do so as in setting aside drug and alcohol and gambling addictions , do you unfairly control the family finances ? (for the record if you’re in a long term relationship and especially if you have children its not just your money)

Do you feel you are entitled to sex even if your partner does want it or is not into what you want ?

Are the household chores split or is there an unwanted household chore imbalance ? We are not trying to remove people’s rights to take on extra tasks if they so desire, what we are saying is does one partner demand chores get done despite them themselves not doing any.

Do you ever act in a way that intimidates your partner ?

Do you ever win arguments by berating, name calling or screaming louder ?

Do you smash things that they treasure ? do you put holes in walls due to your frustration ?

Are you willing to compromise with your partner ? are conflicts resolved in a mutually satisfying way ?

Do you blame your partner for your bad actions ? Do you have temper tantrums ?

Do you belittle your partner or judge them for having a differing opinion or even for past behaviours ?

Now once again let me reiterate, I am not saying that a lack of respect will mean you are a domestic abuser, I am saying that respect will stop domestic abuse.

If you’re showing a lack of respect for your partner check yourself now ! If you are doing anything that you wouldn’t be happy if your partner did then cut it out ! Show your partner the respect they deserve, make your relationship about respect

Huge simple litmus test to work out if the actions you’re about to do are respectful for your partner or not.

If my partner were doing this would I be happy ?

Respect for your partner and yourself will see an end to domestic violence once and for all, we teach respect for our elders and respect for our coaches and teachers (not as successfully as we should mind you) but when do we start teaching respect for our partners and for ourselves ?

Please note: This post was kept deliberately gender neutral. No gender is mentioned nor defamed.

Below is a national and state by state breakdown of domestic violence services to get the help you need if you are realizing that you’re headed down that path and want to reverse your current course !

Call 000 if you are in immediate danger.

Australia-wide Phone

1800RESPECT 1800 737 732

The national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling service for anyone in Australia who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence or sexual assault. 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Relationships Australia 1300 364 277

Support groups and counselling on relationships, and for abusive and abused partners.

Mensline Australia 1300 789 978

Supports men who are dealing with family and relationship difficulties. 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

Telephone, email and web counselling for children and young people.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Australian Childhood Foundation 1800 176 453

Counselling for children and young people affected by abuse.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Australian Capital Territory

Domestic Violence Crisis Service 02 6280 0900

Crisis intervention and counselling, family violence intervention program, education and information for the community. 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Canberra Rape Crisis Centre 02 6247 2525

Crisis support, counselling advocacy and support programs for men and women.
7am -10.30pm

New South Wales

NSW Domestic Violence Line 1800 656 463/ TTY 1800 671 442

Provides telephone counselling, information and referrals for women and same-sex partners who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

NSW Rape Crisis 1800 424 017

Provides telephone and online counselling for anyone who is or has experienced sexual violence and their supporters,
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Northern Territory

Sexual Assault (Katherine) 08 8973 8524
Mon – Fri 9am – 5pm

Sexual Assault (Tennant Creek) 08 8962 4361
Mon – Fri 9am – 5pm

Sexual Assault Referral Centre (Darwin) 08 8922 6472

Free emergency service that provides crisis counselling and other support needs to both adult and children who have experienced any form of sexual assault or sexual abuse, either recently or in the past.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Sexual Assault Referral Centre (Alice Springs) 08 8955 4500

Free emergency service that provides crisis counselling and other support needs to both adult and children who have experienced any form of sexual assault or sexual abuse, either recently or in the past.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Catherine Booth House 08 8981 5928

Short term crisis accommodation, referral and support for adult and young women over 18 years old.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Darwin Aboriginal and Islander Women’s Shelter 08 8945 2284

Support, referral, outreach and domestic violence crisis accommodation for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women who are homeless or escaping family violence.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Dawn House Darwin 08 8945 1388

Crisis accommodation and support service for women with children who are experiencing or escaping domestic or family violence.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Ruby Gaea Darwin 08 8945 0155
Free counselling and support to women and children who have experience sexual assault at any time in their life.
Monday – Friday 8.30am to 5pm.

Queensland

DVConnect Womensline 1800 811 811
Free state wide telephone service that provides confidential counselling and referral to crisis accommodation for women and children affected by domestic or family violence and those who are concerned about a friend or family member.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

DVConnect Mensline 1800 600 636
Free state wide telephone service that provides counselling and referral for men for a range of issues especially those who have experienced or use domestic and family violence and those who are concerned about a friend or family member.
9am – 12 midnight, 7 days a week.

DVConnect Sexual Assault Helpline 1800 010 120
Telephone service that provides counselling to women, men and young people who have experienced or are concerned someone they know has experienced sexual assault or abuse.
7.30am – 11.30pm, 7 days a week.

South Australia

Domestic Violence and Aboriginal Family Violence Gateway Services 1800 800 098

Counselling and support for women experiencing domestic and family violence.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Yarrow Place Sexual Assault Services 1800 817 421

Lead public health agency responding to adult rape and sexual assault in South Australia for people aged 16 years and over.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Tasmania

Family Violence Counselling and Support Service 1800 608 122
Family Violence Counselling and Support Service offers professional and specialised services to assist children, young people and adults affected by family violence.

9am to midnight on weekdays and 4pm to midnight on weekends and public holidays.

Safe at Home Family Violence Response and Referral Line 1800 633 937

Tasmanian information and referral service where callers are able to access the full range of response, counselling, information and other support services provided by Safe at Home. 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Victoria

Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre 1800 015 188
Victorian statewide service providing telephone support, information, referral, safety planning and risk assessment for women and children experiencing family violence.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Sexual Assault Crisis Line 1800 806 292
A statewide confidential, telephone crisis counselling service for people who have experienced both past and recent sexual assault. 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Western Australia

Women’s Domestic Violence Helpline 1800 007 339
Statewide service providing support and counselling for women experiencing family and domestic violence.
24 hours, 7 days a week.

Sexual Assault Resource Centre 1800 199 888
Statewide service providing emergency services and counselling for people who have experienced both past and recent sexual assault.

FACAA #ProudFACAA #Respect #DV #DomesticViolence #EndDV #DomesticViolenceIsChildAbuse #GuardiansOfTheInnocent #VoiceforTheVoiceless #HopeForTheHopeless #ChildrensChampions #WeWIllFight #ChangingLives #HealingSurvivors #RaisingAwareness #ChangingLaws #StandUp #JuliasJustice #PhoenixProgram #JamiesGuardians #TakeAStance #NeverGonnaStop

By ace101

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