“I GOT UP THIS MORNING! . . . ” a poem July 6 th 2019 (Seder-Satir-Satyr – DAY!)
I slept in a little! When I awoke, what did I stare:
Upon? BIRDS! and-cats* protesting together: “WE DECLARE:
That, since YOU’RE OUR SO(U)Le PROVIDER & you sometimes feed [us] in underwear,
OUR NOT-GETTIN’ FED ON TIME – SHOWS US: You may not really care!”
AND! there were raccoons! and a-gri-zz-ly bear,
BUT! (Get this!) They were ALL naked with no shame,
Yet, for-“improper-feeding,” I got ALL OF THAT BLAME!
“Well, OK,” says I; “I’ll try! to-be-more-dil-i- gent,
And not sleep in until 10 A. M.! Then, I went,
To get ALL THE PROTESTERS some food to eat:
Milk! Bread! Dry-food! and (pause) “A treat!”
So, the birds and the deer – a cat and-a-bear,
They TOASTED MY NAME, admitting: “Maybe we weren’t fair!
MAYBE (just maybe) you deserve to sleep in ONCE IN A WHILE,
But! ONLY ONCE A MONTH!! or we will not smile!
More-than-once-a-month? We-won’t-sing, and-we’ll-damage-your-house,
And THEN (You guessed it!) I-heard-from-a-3-legged louse,
Who-said: “Always be kind to animals! OR-else We’ll get-cha!”
I said: “OK! Thanks! I’m glad to have met-cha!”
And! I also got “texts!” from a hundred! Plus, one-friend,
Who said: “You lazy bas – – – d; will THIS never end?
Your sleeping! Sleeping! Sleeping-in, not-helping-friends-with-a-good-time-&-rides,
And we need some MONEY! Given! not-loaned!** to-us besides!”
Of course, I text-ed back – and apologized VERY MUCH:
“I’m sorry,” I text-ed; “I-need-to-do-better-and-more-and-such!”
“THAT’S RIGHT, you lazy rogue; WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”
“Oh, you-know-me! Just-a sorta-pleasant guy – with-ac-cess to a car!”
“You know me! ‘Plenty?’ of money, for upkeeps and gas!”
That’s-right! They ALL text-ed! They-protested en-masse!
SO! ANYWAY! I got rid of the cell phones, burned the back yard lawn & trees,
And – I MOVED TO AUSTRA-L-I-A, a-cross “The-Seas!”***
Actually, I-DID-get-a-few-calls from-people-overseas,
With-texts-like: “Bloody (and Blimey) ‘ELL! You-in-Texas? Flapping-in-The-Breeze,
Dreamin’ DEEP DREAMS? Being-a-man-of-luxury, at your ease, you bum!”
Well, I just gave the phone(s) to my-pet-kangaroos, who-stuck-’em-in-their-tum!
Moral: In the glorious tum, you can’t hear no ring, SO I’M HAPPY
It’s GOOD! to sleep in most days (which, I guess, makes-me-a-“bad-pappy!”)
You CAN BE – happy! and rested! and, really, do quite fine,
JUST GET KAN-GA-ROOS, and-tell-friends: “Drop me a line!”
My new number is: 1 -800 K! A! N! – G R! O O!
Speak with one of my “attendants!” They’ll-be-happy to-answer you!
Part 4! [to my friends, animal and otherwise, who have been unable to reach me!]
You can call GRU! He’s a kangaroo!
And He just says one thing: “I AM Gr-r-roo!”**** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph_l7Pp_1mk
Or! Call one-o’-my-favorites: Peggy Sue;
She’s so pretty and hops – and does dishes too!
Or! Ms. Bal – Lou, who likes CATS, she do!
And loves to cook ’em (with birds) in-a-savory-stew! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2_EH0LSG-U
Or! Don Kanga- rini, who-heads-“The-U. S. A.-Kangaroo-Mafia!” It’s new!
For, they recently opened in America, and THEY’LL “TAKE-CARE” OF YOU!
“Kiss The Ring,” if-you-dare enter-it, to box you a ‘roo;
They-can-be formidable, beating-you ’til-you’re “black-&-blue!”
And -tax deductible contributions can be sent to us, here,
In Alpine, Texas, U. S. A. It’s called: “Kangaroo Zoo,” Dear!
Thank YOU, and may your lives be red-yellow, green-or-brown,
And we hope that YOU NEVER PROTEST! or – wear a blue frown!
*- Many of them named: “Steven,” a bunch of “STEVENS!” 🙂 – Cat – Stevens!
** – Sort of like: “Shaken! not-stirred!”
*** – No! I’m just kidding about moving over there, BUT – I was thinking about maybe importing some kangaroos here! to help me with poachers!
**** – NO! NOT “I am Groot!” Rather: “I am Gr-r-r-oo,” as in kan-g(a)roo! OK?