“THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON JR.” a poem a.k.a.: “Perversion: The Case Against Strong S _ _ ual Feelings, Especially When You’re Young, And Wearing Women’s Clothes.” December 11, 2019 (Oh.Din’s.Day)
“Oh, G _ ,” cried Benjamin, as He ran into The S _ Therapist’s Office;
“I’m addicted to s _ _ and porn, and G_ _knows, I’M NO NOVICE.
I’m s _ _ ually addicted, A PERVERT, and I can’t stop.”
“THIS IS SERIOUS,” said The Therapist; “we might have to LOP,
OFF your frontal cortex and/or do a complete pe _ i l e extraction.
We gotta STOP THIS TERRIBLE THING, Diagnosis: ‘Perverse S _ _ ual (RE?) (Inter?) ACTION.’ ” (pause)
It took (us) several long, terrible years, “Ectomies” and “Therapies” and
A THOUSAND BITTER TEARS,
To finally HELP Benjamin OVERCOME his “chronic perversion.”
However, NOW, thank goodness; he’s no longer suffering from “s _ _ xual immersion.”
(Sigh) Those days are LONG AGO; now, he is NORMAL and when, /
He EVER EVEN thinks of s _ _ or spies a lovely hen,
He can IMMEDIATELY become “acutelyAWARE,” / That HE IS CURED; therefore, he has no more care, / For such “perversions;” he now spends time mostly on,
Watching TV football games and being obsessed keepingUP his lawn.
(Thank God) After he was cured, he went to war,
Protecting our freedoms, fighting “bad guys;” many arms and legs (of The Enemy)
HE TORE; Plus, he had several children, beating them daily so as to instill,
Strength of character, the concept of respect andToTeachThem The Value of Will.
Benjamin also attends CHURCH weekly and sometimes even more,
Confessing his SINFUL NATURE; patriotism is at His Core,
NOT silly flights of “porn addiction” and obsessing about “chicks,”
And THANK GOD He never BECAME GAY, admiring other men’s d _ _ _ _.
Thank goodness, his youthful perversion(s) and the aberrant energy and feelings such disease promoted, / DISPERSED, giving Him “decent” feelings and actions;
RECENTLY, HE WAS VOTED: / “Citizen of The Year” of His Community,
For beatingUpOnANindigentPERVERT, who was masturbating on our streets;
HE BEAT THAT GUY toWithinAnInchOFhisPervertedLIFE; yes, Ben is “one of
THE WHEATS,” / NOT some Biblical “TARE,” condemned to H _ _ _, who should, Never, ever have been born; yet, YOU KNOW (I wonder) what if Benjamin would,
HAVE JUST N O T THOUGHT THAT HIS “NATURAL” FEELINGS TOWARD S _ _ _ _ _ ITY and EACH PRETTY LADY, / were PERVERTED? Would that have been so bad? ‘Cause, then, maybe,
He would have been happier & wouldn’t have killed and beaten up a bunch of people. /
NO, NO Silly me. Come, let us go worship worship under The Steeple,
And thank Ben for “his service” to our country and his town,
And for HIS NOT BEING A S _ _ UAL PERVERT, for, God knows, IF he hadn’t been ableToOvercomeHisAfflictions, HeavenForbid, HeMightHaveChosenTo wear a GOWN.