“OPINION.” a poem October 6, 2019 (Sunday)
Butter! Lard! Whole milk and Oil,
They’re “banding” together [en (greasy) masse] and startin’ t’ boil.
THEY’VE STARTED A “MOVEMENT” to get everyone a LOVIN’
THEM. As they’re cookin’ in your favorite oven.
Well, for years, they’ve been likened to BLONDEs; people say: “You’re EMPTY.”
[Their response:] “We have our place in a ‘balanced’ diet, justLikeHemp, see?
We AGREE, IF you eat JUST US, you’ll get fat and die,
But, if you don’t include us, you’re [for certain] gonna cry,
Because, without some GOOD FAT in your diet, you’re gonna get TOO THIN;
ComeOn, Y’ALL, eat some friggin’ fat; open up and let us in.”
“We’re THE FATTY FATS (GOOD cholesterol), Tasty Oils & Butter;
Don’t ignore us or your engine will sputter;
Without some of us, you’ll get emaciated and you won’t absorb,
ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS; plus, YOU’LL GET BORED,
Just eatin’ avocados and celery sticks.
Real butter, clear oils, unsaturated FOOD (That’s right, we said FOOD),
WE’REaLSO ‘GOOD PICKS.’ “
President Vladimir Trump announced today that, starting tomorrow, it WILL BE: “Eat Good Fats Week.”
Melanie and The Don are planning to have a wild orgy on The White House Lawn with an elephant and a hippo,
named “Jumanji,” a.k.a.: “The Cholesterol Freak.”