“THE STAFF IS AS CRAZY AS THE PATIENTS HERE.” a poem a.k.a.: “It’s NICE To Be At Happy Acres.” 16 October 2019 (Wednesday)
The staff, they are waiting, as we saunter in,
To “Ha a a ppy (Green) Acres;” Nurse KIM’s gotHer aNICEgrin.
“Orderly BILL” is ordered and ready,
To deal with any patients, if they get ornery or heady.
GRAY* is our Doctor, and thisIs on his Tshirt: (pause)
“We’re here to HELP YOU” (pause) Then, Nurse NAN, she will blurt,
Out OUR INSTRUCTIONS: “Behave and Play Nice,
Or into ISOLATION you go; we’ll put you ON ICE.”
THE STAFF they are happy, ’cause they’re [t]here TO WIN,
In their fight against patients at “Happy Acres Loony Bin.”
For instance, Big WILL’s an injun; I’m just a whi’e boy;
JANET’s neurotic, and MIM has her toy,
It is her toy poodle, a stuffed, animal dog,
Named “TINY,” the poochie; didYouKnow BIG BILL has “the log?” (pause)
It’s the club that will hit us, if we misbehave,
And here’s a new orderly: let’s just call him DAVE;
And here’s a new patient; this fellow can rave;
He yells, and he yells, and BILL is so brave,
As he repeatedly hits the new guy; (pause) we call “The Yeller” “The KNAVE.”
Today, EVERYONE’S UPSET IN THE HAPPY ACRES CAVE,
For, there’s little sunlight here, lots of bulbs though and games,
And we try to PLAY NICE, as Nurse KIM now exclaims:
“You can’t be TOO CAREFUL; these folks can be trouble.”
And Big BILL hits The KNAVE AGAIN and then “breaks the bubble.”
A FIGHT doth ensue; Dr. Gray’s on the ground,
And NancyAndDave are suddenly NO PLACE TO BE FOUND,
And ME? My name’s J Jay; I try to keep some order,
But Kimmy and Bill have “gone over the border;”
So, Mimmy and me, we just try to help out.
Dr. Gray, our good doctor, is deep in a pout,
And prescriptions have been written all over the place;
“The Knave” seems “calmed down,” with a smile on his face. (Night falls.)
Next morning, OUR GROUP gets together before 9:00,
And The Title of “Doctor” seems to be mine,
And Mimmy’s now HEAD NURSE, and The Knave and Good Will,
Are keeping The Order and Jan’s a nurse; still,
Gray, he yells at her: “You are NOT my nurse.”
Kimmy’s “in isolation,” yelling for her purse,
And Nanny and Billy are screaming “bloody murder” in The Lobby,
And David, he’s crying for someone named “Bobby;” (pause)
Then, Bobby arrives and he looks around,
And, then, runs away QUICK, for at Happy Acres we’ve found:
That sometimes The Patients and The Staff switch their roles.
IT’S THE STRANGE WORLD OF STAFFS & ALSO tiny HOLES.
“But NEVER SAY THAT,” says Nurse Mim; “it’sNotPolite,
To call women ‘Ho’s; they’re LADIES (pause) (sometimes “of The Night.”)
For, sometimes at night this “Shift Change” occurs,
So, in the morning, roles are switched, and this, of course, infers,
(The Moral): That “EVERYONE’S CRAZY, we’re ALL patients AND staff.”
SO, COME TO HAPPY ACRES, AND HAVE YOU A GOOD LAUGH,
And shake hands with Dr. J. GRAY, and meet our nurse JNAN,
And WILL BILL be a NICE, behavED Jung man?**
And The KNAVE DAVE is either smiling or crying a lot;
Nurse KIMIM is in The Nice Restroom, (pause) RESTING (pause) and smoking pot,
And The World revolves NICELY, and cats and dogs do fight,
For, WE’RE ALL A LITTLE CRAZY, ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT.
- – He’s written several books on anatomy.
** – or alternative: And Will Bill be alive, or will we KILL BILL; you know we can.
a crazy limerick: Do NOT write about the insane / Because it’s not nice OR HUMANE / To point out that we / Are all kookyAsCanBe / For God’s sakes, man, what do you gain?