A blind guy sits down in a diner and says to the waiter, “I’m sorry, but I’m blind and can’t read the menu.
So just bring me a dirty fork, I’ll smell it, and order from there.”
The waiter picks up a greasy fork, and hands it to the blind guy.
The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, breathes deep, and says, “Ah , that’s what I’ll have meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”
The waiter can’t believe it, and he goes and tells his wife, Joan, who’s the cook.
The next day the blind guy walks in and the waiter says, “I’ll get you a dirty fork.”
He gets a dirty fork, hands it to the blind guy.
The blind guy smells it, and says, “That smells great. I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.”
The waiter thinks the blind guy is bull****ting him, so the next day when the blind guy walks in, he goes into the kitchen and says to his wife, “Joan, rub this fork on your crotch.”
She does it, and then he goes out and hands it to the blind guy.
The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, “Are you kidding me?
I didn’t know Joan worked here!
When Abe died, his will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Esther turned to her oldest and dearest friend. “Ah well, Abe would be pleased,” she said.
“You’re right,” replied Sarah, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
“So go on, how much did this really cost?'” ………………………. “All of it,” said Esther. “Forty thousand.”
“Aw No!” Sarah exclaimed, “I mean, it was very grand, but $40,000?!!!”
Esther answered, “The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the Synagogue. The whisky, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.”
Sarah computed quickly………….”For the love of God, Esther, $32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?”