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“A SUPPLEMENTAL FATHERS’ DAY PSALTER READING!” a poem, written for and on: Fathers’ Day 2019, Sunday – June 16th!

Well, it’s FATHERS’ DAY, and (sure enough) that story about Abraham & Isaac is back!

Remember how “God” told Abraham to:

“Take THAT BOY to yon altar – and alter-him! Make-him-“an-alte[a]r-boy!” Yeah! Just HACK,

Him! as-a-“sacrifice” – ’cause-He’s-been-“naughty,” [that’s-right] in-The-Sack!

WE’VE-GOT-TO-MAKE-AN-EXAMPLE-OF-HIM! &-just – Wack, wack, wack, wack!”

OK! Now, THE-“TRUE-STORY:” (pause) Isaac – had-been mast – – – – – ing,

So GOD said to His-Dear-Ol’-Dad-Abraham, without hesitating:

“JUST TAKE ISAAC – TO THE STONE[d] ALTAR – and – CHOP-IT-OFF!!

(You-can-stop-the-Fathers’-Day-Psalter-reading here, if-you-think-you’ve-had-e-nough!)

The analysis of our lesson for today:

(Some-stories-can-get-QUITE – – – “PERVERTED,” I-think-I-might-just-say!)

ALL THIS WAS, WAS A-SIMPLE CIRCUM-CISION!

“To cut off his foreskin, Abraham! That’s your sacred miss[h[ion;

You must put-The-Fear-O’-God into-that-boy;

NO-mo’ “SPILLIN’ SEED,” by-goll’ – to-the-likes-of: Helen of Troy,

Or Raquel Welch! or Sophia Loren!”

“Those PORNO R[m]AGS – HAVE TO GO! We’ve-got-to-toss-’em-out, then!”

“Abrahamm, take your boy Isaac – and REACH FOR THE KNIFE,

And – He’s gonna WISH he had him a wife,

‘Cause – when you’re married, there ain’t no J – – – ing Off!

For, then, it is: BLESSED PROCREATION! I-‘sanction’-THAT!” [cough, cough, cough]

“All this bloody ‘pleasuring,’ I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND!

Doesn’t it say (somewhere-in-HERE?) ‘Do GOOD with Thine Hand? ‘ “

“Well,” say-eth Abraham, to The Lord of Hosts,

“Sometimes! Girls-are-un-kind! (pause) to-our-‘posts,’

And they will deny us – simple conjugal affection;

It’s just how things are, Lord! So, it’s sometimes a good election,*

Especially for a hormone-ravaged boy,

Like good, old Isaac (This-is-really-NO-ploy!),

To keep himself from JUST EX-PLODING,

To-do-some ‘self-pleasuring,’ although-there’s-a-foreboding,

Since we all KNOW – that-mastur–tion-is-A-SIN,

That – INSANITY-and-hair-growth-on-your-palms-will-soon-begin!

DEAR LORD: Can you (please) give-him-a-break-this-time?”

“NO!” say-eth The Lord; “He’s GOT-to-understand this-is-REALLY-a-crime!

SO – Get those dag-burn clippers out,

Even though Isaac might scream and shout!

I-know-this-is-FATHERS’-DAY, but-here’s-one-for-the-mothers:

“A clean tallywacker, setting-Jews-above-[The]-Others!”

“OH! OK!” said Abraham! So, NOW YOU KNOW “THE REST OF THE STORY!”

That’s how circumcision got started! TO GOD {Doin’-nice, cleanly-things-for-The-Ladies} BE ALL THE GLORY!

Moral:

Good-bye to foreskin! Hello to clean!

To CLEAN, NEW BEGINNINGS! They can be really keen!

Adios! to-Amigo-skin! HELL-o – to “Smooth-Electro-Glide!”

It’s a groovy condition, in which Jewish-guys can-abide!**

fin <3

  • – You thought I was going to say “eRection!!” Caught you, didn’t I?!

** – Postscript:

Of course, these-days, EVERYONE’S-“DOIN’-IT;’ boys-‘r’-clipped-from-THE START!

I-dunno! I-think-it-shows:-GOD-sides-with-women!-and-has-a-savage-heart,

But, what do I know! I am merely “A Cog,***

In-The-Machinery-of-LIFE!” An-up-start [mystical] pollywog!

*** – You thought I was going to say “Co-c-k!!” Caught you, didn’t I?!

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Published by J Jay Samuel Davis

A West Texas Cowboy, seeking "fishers of (wo)men!"

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