Woolworths at it again ~

 MURDER AT WOOLWORTHS 


Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging 

to have her killed. 


A ‘friend of a friend ‘put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of

‘Artie.’ Artie explained to the husband that his going price for  snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his  wife’s insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Woolworths Supermarket store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed 

by the store’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. 


Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. 
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared…(You’re going to hate me for this…) 



‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WOOLWORTHS 


Oh, quit groaning! I don’t write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you.

  • Wisdom ~ Believe
    ■FIRST THING IN THE MORNING If you generate 20 ways to achieve your major goal in the morning before you start out, you will find yourself thinking creatively all day long. BeleveYour mind will be sharper and more alert.You will see so- lutions to problems and obstacles as fast as they come up. You will activate … Read more
  • Change Your Thinking ~
    Change your thinking.
  • Limerick CoRner.~
    "THE 'BUT' GIRL," a poem for: Saturday/Sunday October 12 – 13, 2019 {an introductory limerick entitled: "No Requirements." A girl wasOnce VERY tired, Until, from her job, she got fired; Then, with time "on her hands," She traversed many "lands," 'Til she LANDed on one NOT required.} "I'm so VERY, VERY TIRED," MyHoney said to … Read more
  • “TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.” a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday)
    "TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS." a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday) When I was BackInTheArmy, I "roomed" withAnIRISH MAN; We'd often have us "friendly fights," outTheDoor, intoTheHall we'd spin, A scrapin' and a punching, yet he was a big 'n' burly; And I, myself, was tough and lean, my hair was kinda curly, And, backThen, we … Read more
  • “CONNIVING MALARKEY, REVISITED.” a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday)
    "CONNIVING MALARKEY, REVISITED." a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday) "So, my friend," I said to my friend, (pretty long pause) "I guess (pause) notUntilYou'reOn'YourDeathBed,' then, maybe, you'll look up at me, And say: 'DANG, YOU WERE RIGHT; WHY DID I EVER DISAGREE, WITH YOU, WHEN YOU SAID, 'Anything anyone might write or say, IS WORTH … Read more
Advertisements

“Giving More Respect To Turkeys!”TEXAS COWBOY

“RESPECT!” a poem, intended to convey respect! a.k.a.: “Good Luck!” October 15, 2018 (Monday) [Preface: “Giving More Respect To Turkeys!” a poem within this poem, kinda! [”Help! I was kidnapped! by turkeys – with beaks and snoods! / They DEMANDED more respect; there were both hens & dudes: /“We are primary coverts!” at me they squawked; / “so we are ‘undercover,’ urging-respect!” and-we-talked! / For quite a while – in-a turkey dialect! / I REALLY must say that I felt a bit ‘hen-pecked!’ /Anyway, I DO – have more respect for them now – / For the noble, stately, L-Tryptophanic turkey, somehow! / They’re just raising families and are regular “birds,” / pursuing The American Dream – and-fertilizing-Earth-with their turds! / But! Their American Dream, for some reason, has been ‘soured; / so I DO urge us to respect them more – and-to-be more ‘chicken-powered!’”] Now, for your regularly scheduled poem:

The QUESTION OF RESPECT!! (pause) It-now comes up so often, Love!

I’m PRETTY SURE – that no one knows – what REAL respect is (even) made-of;

Perhaps because: RESPECT – – – IS RULED BY A LITTLE GIRL,

Who screams: “Y-all-are-‘dissing’-me – ‘CAUSE – you don’t like my brand, new curl,”

Or, sometimes, you’ll hear a guy say: “Pretty-green-dress-Cindy; it’s just right for you!”

THEN! SHE’LL CLAIM DISRESPECT, ’cause he mistakes turquoise for blue!!

Does anyone know what they are talking about when the definitions are all new?

When we ALL see colors differently! So-is DISRESPECT! – seeing-a-different-hue?

Disrespect is SO subjective; it’s like: WHAT IS YOUR GOD TO YOU?

Could be: The Force – Nature – An Old Man – or – A Big-Breasted Shrew!

Disrespect? DISRESPECT! I think THIS definition’s clever:

RESPECT (n): Never claiming any disrespect – regarding-anyone! ever!

Because – when YOU see disrespect – it’s in YOUR eyes! You! The Beholder!

So DISRESPECT TO YOU – IS WHEN Y O U FEEL COLDER:

It’s YOUR reaction! NOT what THEY do or say;

Our terms are so fowled up – I (still) claim –

NOT JUDGING – (pause) is The Greatest Respect you can pay! 🙂

fin <3

  • My Gal Lollipop ~
    "THE 'O. D.' HUG!" a poem a.k.a.: "My Favorite Huggie!"  I-just wan'-a-me – the O.D. HUG, I-know-it's-a-lot-to-ask,But I-like to-think about-it – in-your-hug I-LO-O-OVE -to-"bask!" [Procedure:] You sneak up (kinda slowly) and whisper in her ear,That-you-love-her-ever-lots-and-lots, and she's a Sweetie DEAR -You get a little closer, and-you smell her precious hair!And start to press her to … Read more
  • “THE HARDHEADED BRAT OF BREWSTER COUNTY?!” a poem August 7, 2018 -💣💣
    “THE HARDHEADED BRAT OF BREWSTER COUNTY?!” a poem August 7, 2018 – Tuesday. a.k.a.: “Doctors, Lawyers, Indian Chiefs: IF You Have Questions, Call The Thiefs; If You’ve No Questions, Then Something’s Wrong – You-Need-An-Attitude-Adjustment … And A Different Song!” “YOU! YOU! – You-you-need, To ‘get on board’ and learn to read! And-agree-more-often with conventionality! IF-you-don’t, … Read more
  • Watch “Alan Jackson – How Great Thou Art (Live)” on YouTube TEXAS COWBOY
    https://youtu.be/a-m_6KN5ISA I wonder what all the Texas COWBOYS WOULD DO TODAY Probably KICK THEM UP THE BACKSIDE AND RUN OUT OF TOWN America the greatest Nation on earth ©
  • Texas Cowboy ~ woman are my destiny
    “WHAT IS LOVE!” a poem a.k.a.: “When Forcing Love is Love Too And Loving To Destroy Love is Love Too And Any Love Is Good Love – And Can Destroy The World And Send Us Where Love Is Very Rarely Seen!” 29 Nov 2018 (Thursday: Karaoke Night at Ole Crystal Bar, Alpine, Texas!) LOVE? is … Read more
  • Give me loving all day long ~ Texas Cowboy
    "DOUBLE EDGED KNIVES CAN CUT YOU BOTH WAYS, AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY, RIGHT? a poem 25 May 2019 (Saturday) I've said it BEFORE! and I know you want more, Of The Topics of: BORE and of CHORE! So! (pause) Why's-the-word-LIFE, which-rhymes-with-WIFE, Also rhyme – with a "hard word" like STRIFE? And … Read more
  • Love 🤩
    People say they find love, as if it were an object hidden by a rock. But love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. – Mitch Albom
  • “ALWAYS MISSING OUT!” TeXas cowboy
    "ALWAYS MISSING OUT!" a poem February 4, 2019 (Moon-day!) IF I ONLY REACTED – "better" – and "quicker,"I'd-be-better-off – but – I'm feeling-a-bit-sicker,Trying to keep-up – with what-others-suggest?To help my poor life? – and-make-a-"comfortable nest?"To fulfill the desires – of Presidents and Kings?"IF-I-COULD-ONLY-TRY-HARDER!" but-such-stress-this-thought-brings! Perhaps JUST RELAXING?! "My burden is LIGHT!"*And – BREATHING-FOR-A-MOMENT – might … Read more
  • ” IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE COMFORTABLE IN LOVE ” 💋Texas Cowboy
    " IT'S IMPORTANT TO BE COMFORTABLE IN LOVE " a poem April 20, 2019 (Saturday) I need comfort; you need comfort; we ALL need comfort SOON! If-I-don't-get-me-some-comfo't, I'll explode in my little room! I'm sure – my comfo't – you-can secu'e, IF you're-here-draped-'round-me, 'cause-you're-so-dear! Comfo't! It-is: you and me,- In-ter-twin-ed-in X-stacy! "It's-so-'potant -t'-be-comfoble," I say; … Read more
  • “DIRE!”~TEXAS Cowboy 🤠🤠
    Where-INSPIRATION? Oh, my-DARLING! I-haven't-got-a-clue, IF-you're-asking- about-yourself! AS, FOR ME, IT'S ALWAYS YOU! You are the catalyst – and -The-Touch-Stone; You-are-the-one to-unleash this bone, And jam the juices – to The Sky! YOU ASK AGAIN, and-I-don't-know-why; I only know – that, at the start, Procreation can impart, A-sense-of-love and-commitment-then! THE POWER SURGES, and-where've–I-been? But-EVER – ever-here … Read more
  • “Sally and Friends! Texas Cowboy 💥💥
    "[FLYING HIGH WITH] OUR GAL 'SAL' AND 'CRATES,' HER PET HIPPO!" a poem, in the series: "Sally and Friends!" April 7, 2019 – Sunday "Medical Sally" loves "her own!" She likes to be called up – on the phone, To answer questions about your health, And get you to visit, to take your wealth!? Of … Read more
  • “A TITANIC YEARNING!” Texas COWBOY 🤠
    "A TITANIC YEARNING!" a poem April 6, 2019 (Saturday) My purpose in life is to make you a Titan, For Titans are huge oh-so-strong-and-they-frighten, EVERYONE!? even-the-strongest-and-most-fast, The-ones-labeled-"invincible," and-we-all-think-they'll-"last!" I'll make you a Titan, by "pulling" on you, 15-minutes-to-an-hour! That's-what I will do, For we all need GOD FOOD, that liquid refreshment, From-The-Springs-of-The-Gods (in Fields so … Read more
  • “BEING WITH THE OLD COW IS ALWAYS THE MOST COMFORTABLE!”TEXAS COWBOY
    "BEING WITH THE OLD COW IS ALWAYS THE MOST COMFORTABLE!" a poem, by The Texas Cowboy: "You MOOve me!" April 6, 2019 [Saturday] "Will you love me, when I'm old and gray?Shall we do something-else now? I-hope I'm-not-IN-THE-WAY!You're disappointed?! Dissatisfied!? with-life-and-me, I'm-sure?WHAT SHOULD WE BE DOING?" "Well!!! JUST-a-WHAT WE'RE,DOING R I G H T NOW! … Read more
  • “SHE IS A SMORGASBORD OF SWEETNESS IN THE GARDEN OF SENSUAL DELIGHTS!”💥💥 Texan Cowboy
    "SHE IS A SMORGASBORD OF SWEETNESS IN THE GARDEN OF SENSUAL DELIGHTS!" a poem a.k.a.: "You're Delicious!" "So, I Want To Eat!" "All of You!" March 25, 2019 [Monday] You're my yummy, blueberry muffin; you're my creamy, sugary puff!You're my scrumptious candy kisses! Yeah, I can not get enough!You're my frothing, fruity ambrosia – in-a-perfect-crystal-cup![Yeah, … Read more
  • Texas Cowboy
    https://youtu.be/hVOERnTSKiE Texas Cowboy Ace NEWS ROOMS 
  • MAMAS, HOPE THAT YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE COWBOYS!🤠🤠
    MAMAS, HOPE THAT YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE COWBOYS! a poem resurrected: February 23, 2019 {also entitled: “ONLY THE REALLY GOOD DAYS ARE J.W. DAYS”} This poem is dedicated to some friends of mine who live here in Alpine. They are COWBOY FRIENDS (We have a “Cowboy Poetry” gathering here each year!); “Cowboy Friends” … Read more
  • Texas Cowboys 😁
    A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, 'Why in the world are you walking … Read more
  • “There’s a Magical Force Field of Love- around You, that opens-up when you smile! 
    "LOVE ACTUALLY!" a poem a.k.a.: "What The H – – – ! Satan Has Possessed Santa Claus And Everyone Is Circumventing The Anti-Love Force Fields! Is This A Sign of The Season, Or The Times, Or What?" Dec. 7, 2018 (Monday) XXX-Mas is close(r)! "There's a Magical Force Field of Love- around You, that opens-up … Read more
  • It comes Naturally in Australia – loving dancing in the rain 💙💙
    DOWN UNDER, AUSSIE STYLE!" a poem Tuesday: 12/11/2018 The sexiest girl I ever met, Australian-born-and-bred; I-really-loved-it-when-that-purty-"sheila" -was-messin'-with-my-"head!!" "So-you're-Texan, hey?!"-she-said-"Hoo-ray," with-a-sparkle-in-her-eye; "Well-honey-cum-down-SOUTH!"-said-she; I said: "Oh, my-my-my!" "What's-'matter-BIG-BOY? – ya-stammering! A-heifer-got-your-tongue?" [Those Aussie girls I-think-I-think – they like 'em well-a-hung!] "Come-on, Tex!-what-cha-waitin'-for? Don't-cha-wanna-cume-DOWN-UNDER?" "Well-yes-yes – purty-miss, I do – I-lightnin'-n-you-be-thunder!" Well-anyway-FOLKS-n-FRIENDS-n-NEIGHBORS – watch-(out) for Aussie chicks: They're-kinda-a-like-the-kangaroos, … Read more
  • ‘Cause love that-is gonna work   is-something you can’t search for 💥💥
    “IN THE MORNING LIGHT, WE DISCOVERED THE TRUE MEANING OF T H E T R I N I T Y !” a poem, for awakening! Tuesday, November 13, 2018. My lover! She-don’t-have-no-periods (pause) (and) I-have-no com-mas! She’s always ready! (pause) and – I-don’t ever (pause!) pa-ause,* ‘Cause love that-is gonna work is-something you can’t search … Read more
  • So, I’ll embrace-him – and kiss him nice, I-love-angel-kisses, with sug’-and-spice! And I will touch-him; we’re-a-really-“good-fit,”
    "FOR X-MAS!" a poem Friday: December 7, 2018 Now, I lay me down to sleep, I pray, Dear Lord, don't let me weep! Please give me angel wings, so I, Can be-with-him; please, let me fly, To him-a-sleeping – and wrap around, My pretty wings, without a sound, So, I'll embrace-him – and kiss him … Read more
  • And-to-keep-The-X-Factor, on the watch; On-The-X-Pistol, there’s-many-a-notch
    “XX = FEM.? XY = MASC.?” a poem December 6, 2018 – Thor’s (XY) Day! Person X [to Person Y]: “I want you – to be – happy! And what you need right now (I know) – You need a-little-‘nappy!’” While Y doth sleep, X doth plan, How-to-make-Y – a happy man, And-protect-him-always – against … Read more
  • LAPTOPS DESKTOPS COMPUTERTOPS, ALL (pause) &, pretty soon, more & more, Computer systems controlled “The Scene,” and-where-do-you-go-from-there? From Land – and Sea – unto-almost-The Clouds*  and NOW, we do not care
    "SALVATION!" a poem 12/6/18 (Thurs.) included in the new, sensational series called: "No Lifestyle, but only DEVICE STYLE!" In-The-Beginning, Gloria strapped-on-"a-mouse," a mouse 'round her neck, with a chain, But-The-Mouse-was-connected to-a-system – I think "the frame"-mighta-been-"MAIN!" And, then, our Gloria was very burdened – and sought to free herself from, The TERROR that she had … Read more
  • Watch “Alan Jackson – “He Stopped Loving Her Today” at George Jones’ Funeral | Opry” on YouTube
    https://youtu.be/GbjpbqowX3Y
  • Why Do They Call You Tex?
    A little guy is seated next to a big guy at a bar and asks his name. The big guy says, "They call me Tex." The little guy replies, "Oh, you must be from Texas." The big guy says, "Nope. I'm from Louisiana." "Hmmm," the little guy replies, "Then why do they call you Tex?" … Read more

Letter to my husband

I wanna be the reason

You slightly tilt your phone

Away from others when you read it

It’s hard to resist a bad boy

Who’s a good man

Even harder when you a gentleman in public

And a Master in the bedroom

Letter to my Husband

Letter to my h
  • Today’s impressions on life as I see it today ~ Letter to my Husband ©️
    The Photographer removed the Mobile Phones Mr. Ellis, extraordinary photograph. Lost communictions or forgotten how to communicate. Scott this is the future, the possibility is folk will still have to learn how to read again, so there's a bright side. Or are we being programmed to teach our children to marry smartphones instead? 😂😂 https://youtu.be/qYS0EeaAUMw … Read more
  • Letter to my Husband ~
    Only my husband would understand this post.
  • Does it really matter ~
    Letter to my husband Don't believe anything just to hear, No matter where you read it or who said it, Not even if i said it, Unless it's related to your reason and common sense. Don't believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many Don't believe in anything just because you talk … Read more
  • Letter to my husband ©️T
    it's not sex, Love comes naturally, it's opening your mind naturally, honestly, sincerely. Does love hurt no it doesn't? love never hurts, if it hurts it's not love its ego. Open your heart, naturally Let love flow through Love heals naturally Love has a way of making it's way into open hearts to receive you're … Read more
  • Letter to my husband ©️T
    it's not sex, Love comes naturally, it's opening your mind naturally, honestly, sincerely. Does love hurt no it doesn't? love never hurts, if it hurts it's not love its ego. Open your heart, naturally Let love flow through Love heals naturally Love has a way of making it's way into open hearts to receive you're … Read more

Making babies ~

Making a baby. This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!–

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to..’ ‘Oh, no need to explain,’ Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve been expecting you.’ ‘Have you really?’ said the photographer. ‘Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?’

‘Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !’ After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’ ‘Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch,  and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.’

‘Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!’ ‘Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’ ‘My, that’s a lot!’, gasped Mrs. Smith. ‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’

‘Don’t I know it,’ said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘This was done on the top of a bus,’ he said. ‘Oh, my God!’ Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. ‘And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.’

‘She was difficult?’ asked Mrs. Smith. ‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.’ ‘Four and five deep?’ said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. ‘Yes’, the photographer replied. ‘And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.’

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. ‘Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?’ ‘It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.’ ‘Tripod?’ ‘ Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.’

Mrs. Smith fainted.

  • Wisdom ~ Believe
    ■FIRST THING IN THE MORNING If you generate 20 ways to achieve your major goal in the morning before you start out, you will find yourself thinking creatively all day long. BeleveYour mind will be sharper and more alert.You will see so- lutions to problems and obstacles as fast as they come up. You will activate … Read more
  • Change Your Thinking ~
    Change your thinking.
  • Limerick CoRner.~
    "THE 'BUT' GIRL," a poem for: Saturday/Sunday October 12 – 13, 2019 {an introductory limerick entitled: "No Requirements." A girl wasOnce VERY tired, Until, from her job, she got fired; Then, with time "on her hands," She traversed many "lands," 'Til she LANDed on one NOT required.} "I'm so VERY, VERY TIRED," MyHoney said to … Read more
  • “TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.” a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday)
    "TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS." a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday) When I was BackInTheArmy, I "roomed" withAnIRISH MAN; We'd often have us "friendly fights," outTheDoor, intoTheHall we'd spin, A scrapin' and a punching, yet he was a big 'n' burly; And I, myself, was tough and lean, my hair was kinda curly, And, backThen, we … Read more
  • “CONNIVING MALARKEY, REVISITED.” a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday)
    "CONNIVING MALARKEY, REVISITED." a poem October 12, 2019 (Saturday) "So, my friend," I said to my friend, (pretty long pause) "I guess (pause) notUntilYou'reOn'YourDeathBed,' then, maybe, you'll look up at me, And say: 'DANG, YOU WERE RIGHT; WHY DID I EVER DISAGREE, WITH YOU, WHEN YOU SAID, 'Anything anyone might write or say, IS WORTH … Read more