Straight men – whats straight about men lol – some have Daddly long legs 🦵 Some have kissing lips that drive you mad as hell.


Straight men share why they love having sex in public toilets 10.20 am ‘I was on the train with this girl I’d been on a date with. We were snogging in the toilet, with my hand up her dress, when the door opened. ‘A middle-aged man in a suit was standing there reading the paper, and he looked at me in shock, like, “what the -?” then his expression changed to, “nice one mate!” ‘I think it was pretty obvious I hadn’t lost my keys up there. I was frantically pushing the buttons to close the door, and luckily it all happened so quickly that I don’t think she realised.’ This is just one of the toilet trysts Ian’s had, since nearly losing his virginity in the ladies’ loo of his local nightclub as a teenager. He remembers, ‘the floor was so slippery it became a laugh fest as we were all over the place. But we ended up doing it in bed a week later, so it did have a successful ending!’ Ian has since gone on to have numerous saucy encounters with women in public loos – and he’s not the only multiple offender. While getting jiggy in a public toilet is usually associated with gay men having anonymous sex, there are plenty of heterosexual couples connecting crotches in cubicles. Whereas cottaging emerged in less liberal times as a way for men to meet men (with secret signals to communicate their intentions), heteros with perfectly good homes to shag in are sneaking into toilets for the thrill of it. David was on a bar crawl with his girlfriend of a few weeks, when they had sex in the men’s room at The Barfly in Camden. He says,’it was quite early on in the night and we didn’t want to wait until we got home.’ David checked the coast was clear, then they rushed in and did the deed. David says: ‘Someone saw us come out, but we walked straight to the bar as if nothing happened. We felt a bit giddy – the dive bar vibes made it feel illicit – and it brought back teenage memories of sneaking around.’ David sees his night at The Barfly as the start of ‘being a bit of an exhibitionist.’ Having split up with his Barfly co-conspirator, David went upmarket with his next girlfriend, treating her to toilet sex at Le Meridien Hotel on Piccadilly. ‘We’d been seeing each other for about a year,’ he says, ‘and we were in town drinking cocktails in the hotel bar. We were feeling a bit amorous and getting a bit handsy – that’s when I said, “shall we…?”‘ David was surprised when his girlfriend said yes. ‘At first she wasn’t sure if I was serious, but when I said I was, we went for it.’ Having been to the hotel before, David knew his way round, and so leaving their coats and bags in the bar, they slipped off for sex in the men’s cloakrooms. ‘It’s a five star hotel, so nothing was going to go missing,’ remembers David. ‘And there was no worry about cleanliness. Afterwards, we went back to the bar to finish our drinks.’ David’s third lavatory love-in was at Victoria station, after a trip to Winter Wonderland. Still in a relationship with Miss Meridien, David says: ‘we’d had a few mulled wines, and Amaretto hot chocolates, so we were feeling happy and horny, and couldn’t wait until we got home.’ They looked for somewhere secluded on the way from Hyde Park Corner to Victoria station, but didn’t find anywhere. So when they arrived at Victoria with 20 minutes to spare, they ‘passed the time in the disabled toilet.’ While David’s always slipped under the radar, Ian’s had issues every time. (Picture: Dave Anderson for After ending up in a Portaloo with a woman he’d met in a pub, Ian found himself putting on a sex show for passersby in Leicester Square. ‘I was getting a blowjob – my eyes were closed and she had her back to the door,’ explains Ian. ‘When I opened my eyes, I saw the door had come open and people were walking past laughing.’ On another occasion, Ian had the opposite problem – he found himself locked in. He says: ‘I was in the Spice of Life pub in Soho with a work colleague. We’d been drinking for four hours and I was feeling really randy. She kept putting her hand in my lap, then when I went to the loo she headed me off and dragged me into the ladies. Somehow we were in there for about an hour. Ian came out of the toilet to find the pub was empty and the doors were locked. ‘I went through to the kitchen and kept walking until I found someone,’ he says. ‘They said, “get a feckin’ room next time!”‘ Toby, who describes himself as an exhibitionist who’s, ‘spontaneous when I get the horn’ had toilet sex at The Terrace, a Wimbledon bar that’s since closed. ‘It wasn’t planned, but protection was used,’ he says. Having met his date on Gumtree, Toby agreed to meet her in The Terrace at lunchtime as it was near where they both worked. ‘From the messages we’d sent, sex was definitely on the cards,’ he explains, although he hadn’t expected it to happen at lunchtime. ‘We’d actually agreed to meet again after work, but she had something come up, so it was either now or rearrange for another day. ‘We were both horny so we jumped into the toilet. It was a pretty quiet bar so I think most people guessed – and she squirted when she came, so it was actually quite handy we were in a toilet.’ (Illustraion: Dave Anderson for Spurred on by his lunchtime shag, Toby arranged another rendezvous, this time for after work with a woman he’d met on Craigslist. He says: ‘she didn’t want to host or come to mine, so we agreed to do it in the toilet at Starbucks.’ The unisex loo meant they had more space – but it also kept other customers waiting. ‘Someone banged on the door,’ says Toby. ‘We ignored it at first and initially we didn’t hurry up, but then they knocked a second time and that put me off. ‘My heart was racing because I was nervous we’d been caught. I was worried Starbucks would open the door and see me butt naked having sex!’ The experience hasn’t put Toby off though: ‘I’d do it again, although not many girls will have sex in a toilet – and there are other “outside” places I prefer.’ Ian feels the same: ‘Of course I’d do it again! It’s passionate, hot and a bit naughty. If you’re prepared to have sex in a toilet, you know you’re into each other. David, meanwhile, says: ‘it’s definitely something I wouldn’t mind repeating although now I’m a bit older I’d like somewhere fancier – The Shard would be awesome.’ ‘Toilets aren’t the most romantic of places, but they have the advantage of being the most private commonly available space. ‘It can be quite a thrill as there’s always the possibility of being caught.’ For anyone considering sex in the loos, James offers some advice. ‘It’s probably not a good idea to mention it to a new partner,’ he suggests. ‘Once you’ve started having normal sex together, you could try going for a few drinks and then see if you can persuade them while in the moment. ‘If you try to discuss it before, they might see it as a bit too much. ‘If you are in a long term relationship, anything you can do to spice things up is going to have some benefit. In this case, you could talk about it first or else it may seem out of character. If you are both in agreement, the excitement of doing something a bit naughty could work wonders. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, Preece adds: ‘Whatever you do, just remember to wash your hands afterwards!’

Anyway I Made this up👍

Time needed: 5 days, 23 hours and 6 minutes.

Letter to my husband

  1. Coming home

    Home is a place where you find trust hope and comfort all the days of you life

  2. HUG

    Hugging relieves stress enjoy the endorphins sending shivers down your spin

  3. Thoughts

    Saturate your thoughts of blissfully being held long after he fell asleep
    Glance over take a look and smile


Little girls grow up

STORY TIME ~ was it nice in heaven Sir

For one thing Fred sha’n’t get into that kind of muss if I can save him from it.

“There’s enough like that kind, though,” interrupted Uncle Peter.

Who among you ever received an injury from that kind old man?

It’s a good game if that’s the kind of a game you’re huntin’ fur.

All the sailors had a kind word for him, and many were the praises which he received in the forecastle.

Still, one kind of food cloys after a time, and so our new settlers found it.

We accepted his kind invitation to make ourselves his guests while we remained.

There is a kind of beauty that seems made to be painted on ivory, and such was hers.

He was as kind and obliging as it was possible to be in his circumstances.

But how wonderful and quick my touch has got, and how kind is heaven there, sir!

JFASTEREFT MODERN IMPRESSIONIST POET ~ Thoughts of yesterday long ago in the land of denial of sexuality long gone

“BODY-MIND BALANCING ACT!” December 18, 2017

There’re-doubtless-dimensions-where-they “overthink!”-”THEY”


On Planet “Analysis 3 point 2 Oh,” their bodies are sure good as dead!

And, on Planet “Anal” (prounced “aw-nah-l), they doN’T overthink,


But-they-dream of their bodies as tools of use

Why do they dream? Just be-cause!

Just-because-”God”-likes to think-through-things-too –

And, often, She stays in her head.

And may not take food or a rest – toilet break?

And may not sleep long in her bed.

But we are NOT there (pause) On planet ANAL (prounced “aw-nah-l!”)

We are in 3 – DD Space,

So, if my eyes bulge, when you take off your blouse,

It’s OK – we’re

THE (pause)


fin. <3