Mercifully tucked away in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, Mount Isa is a toxic desert hellscape with a lengthy rap sheet of shitness. The city revolves around its lead and copper smelters, belching pollution plants that provide work to the local population of deadset drongos and foolhardy FIFOs, as well as providing them with a free citywide sulphuric fart fragrance and bonus lead poisoning. Having babies with learning disabilities and third arms is all in the job for the hardworking lead-heads of ‘the Isa’.
Another part of the job is embracing the oppressive heat of Mount Isa, a place so parched that even the so-called ‘wet’ season is dustier than the Parramatta Eels’ trophy cabinet. The influx of men to work in the mines has also turned the town into a veritable sausage fest, to the point where in 2008 the mayor actually suggested ugly women come to Mount Isa to get laid. Unfortunately for anyone keen on taking up His Worship’s offer, the smelter has rendered most of the male population impotent – or, ironically, lacking lead in their pencils.
When they’re not busily poisoning the planet, Mount Isans enjoy getting on the goon, fighting in the street, pelting cars with rocks and harassing backpackers at the Irish Club. Mount Isa’s smog-soaked sunrise can be a spectacular sight – if you ignore the silhouettes of shopkeepers hosing human shit off the footpath. The city’s premier event is its combined rodeo and Mardi Gras every August, when LGBTQ people are chased down the main street by enraged bulls.
As a result of the local death factory turning a bunch of bog-standard yobbos into a pack of CUBs (Cashed-Up Bogans), inhabitants of Mount Eyesore pay through the arse for the privilege of living in such a pootopia. Everything is exorbitant, from the price of drowning your sorrows at the local pub, to the cost of escaping – a flight to Brisbane can set you back more than flying from Brizzy to London. On the other hand – whatever it costs, it’s worth it.
- Fairy Land
- Stand Tall ~ Art for Sale
- Aliens came today ~
- So, GOOD LABELERS & THERAPISTS, what am I to do?
- Laughter ~