WHY DO YOU RUN OUT ON ME? Perhaps, I’ll never know!
EXCEPT, I-know-I’m-a-lousy-friend, BUT that’s-ALWAYS been-so!
No one really likes me, so I WISH YOU’D COME RIGHT BACK,
At least – to punch me in the nose! You-can-hit-me with your “rack!”
Just-friggin’-knock me SILLY! Go-‘head-and-knock me out!
I DESERVE-a-lot-of-your-ABUSE! and-I REALLY LOVE TO POUT!
“IT FIGURES!” a poem May 11, 2019 – SAURDAY
When-you-stoop* to-pummel me – with-your “Pil-lows-of-Wrath,”
I AM pretty sure I know – why-you’re my BETTER HALF,
‘Cause-I-haven’t [even] half a brain, so TREAT ME AS YOU WILL!
ABUSE! I-need-ABUSE! SOME-MORE! (pause) I’m-really such “a pill!”
No one likes me! even moi! and-little-animals-[like-to]-pee,
On my leg! Servin’-me-right, tee hee hee!
Plus! Cats-avoid-me; birds as well;
Dogs bark-eth at me! I love to live in H – – – ,
Awaiting YOUR RETURN! So, you-can-PEE ON-MY-LEG!
Bite ME! Fight me! To-heck-with-love! [Please!] Just** drag, (pause)
Me into-“The-Jungle,” and have your way!
I’m-always-thinking of you, loving-LIFE, so-tired-and-gray!
And I love-the-club-we-started?!
[Our MOTTO?:] “Just throw us under the bus!”
I’m PRESIDENT! of: “SADO (pause) MASOCHISTICS-R-US!”***
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- – or TO CONQUER!
** – or what-a:
*** – and you’re treasurer and secretary, and you stole the funds and ran away to Palm Cove, Queensland, Australia, where the crocs wear shoes and the snakes in the trees, sway with the breeze, and Julian Assange is still looking for some word to rhyme with his last name! I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT WORD, and I will disclose it to him, IF he will agree to come to Alpine, Texas, U. S. A., so I can buy him a good cup of coffee and tell him I appreciate his brand of International Humor! Yay, Julian! [An original joke: What do you call it when a [beautiful] witch pees on your leg? A: A wicca leak!]