Only in Australia ~ Central Queensland ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ†

Mercifully tucked away in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, Mount Isa is a toxic desert hellscape with a lengthy rap sheet of shitness. The city revolves around its lead and copper smelters, belching pollution plants that provide work to the local population of deadset drongos and foolhardy FIFOs, as well as providing them with a free citywide sulphuric fart fragrance and bonus lead poisoning. Having babies with learning disabilities and third arms is all in the job for the hardworking lead-heads of โ€˜the Isaโ€™.

Another part of the job is embracing the oppressive heat of Mount Isa, a place so parched that even the so-called โ€˜wetโ€™ season is dustier than the Parramatta Eelsโ€™ trophy cabinet. The influx of men to work in the mines has also turned the town into a veritable sausage fest, to the point where in 2008 the mayor actually suggested ugly women come to Mount Isa to get laid. Unfortunately for anyone keen on taking up His Worshipโ€™s offer, the smelter has rendered most of the male population impotent – or, ironically, lacking lead in their pencils.

When theyโ€™re not busily poisoning the planet, Mount Isans enjoy getting on the goon, fighting in the street, pelting cars with rocks and harassing backpackers at the Irish Club. Mount Isaโ€™s smog-soaked sunrise can be a spectacular sight – if you ignore the silhouettes of shopkeepers hosing human shit off the footpath. The cityโ€™s premier event is its combined rodeo and Mardi Gras every August, when LGBTQ people are chased down the main street by enraged bulls.

As a result of the local death factory turning a bunch of bog-standard yobbos into a pack of CUBs (Cashed-Up Bogans), inhabitants of Mount Eyesore pay through the arse for the privilege of living in such a pootopia. Everything is exorbitant, from the price of drowning your sorrows at the local pub, to the cost of escaping – a flight to Brisbane can set you back more than flying from Brizzy to London. On the other hand – whatever it costs, itโ€™s worth it.

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Will you change a life ๐Ÿค”

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Testicle Therapy

Testicle Therapy

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,โ€™ she told him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.  She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?

โ€˜Feels great,โ€™ he replied; โ€˜but I still think my thumb’s broken!โ€™

Beautiful Women โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ

~ Cuban Tody Bird

~ Cuban tody (Todus multicolor)

~ Photo by : Alfredo Irizarry
~ The Cuban tody is a bird species in the family Todidae that is restricted to Cuba and adjacent islands.

Cuban Tody Bird

Kindness Quotes

BLOODY GENIUS ๐Ÿ‘ป

When the trauma of the day – AND YOUR INCOMPETENCE – have really “set in,”
And intrigue and frustration (pause) knock you ‘cross your chin,

“WHEN TO TURN OUT THE [N]IGHTS!” a poem a.k.a.: “Breaking The Circuit!” May 13, 2019 (Monday)

You can scream and cry – or simply yell: “FOUL,”
Or – laugh! Turn-off-your-“devices,” – and “throw in the towel!”

For (you-know) NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU’LL-STILL “LOSE,”
And, if you’re not much interested in – drinking a lot of booze,
Just LAY YOUR TINY HEAD DOWN – on a pillow! AND SNOOZE!
Honey! (pause) You’ve-ALREADY (pause) “paid all your dues!”

Sleep with the knowledge, that “THE COMPETENT & GIFTED,”
Are TWO OUNCES shy – of-being totally-“shifted,”
From a-real-high-I.Q. – to-the-stretch-of-a-rubber-band!
2 ounces drained – from anyone’s Thyroid Gland,
Will-put-them-in-THEIR-PLACE, in-a-rocking-chair,
And, all day, at the wall – THEY CAN BLANKLY STARE,
Not remembering at all – how wise and competent they WERE!
You’ll barely hear the sound – of their brain stem going “purr!”

PURR-FECTION! and SMARTNESS! and CAPABILITY – are-all-nouns,
And, in humility, we’d better recognize: “We’re ALL a bunch o’ clowns!”
Clowns! in-Outer-Space, spinning around,
Thinking that OUR COMPETENCE – is something we have found!

BUT! We’re-only EVER REALLY “relatively-SMART,’
&-anyone-around-here-we-might-compare-ourselves-to-is: “a-pretty-weak-piece-of-art!”
SO, YOU MIGHT WANNA BE A LITTLE HUMBLE – and delicate with your friends,
And, IF you’ve acted pompously to others, you MIGHT wanna make amends!

GENESIS BIRTHRIGHT ๐Ÿ™€

“COUNTER INTUITIVE?” a poem May 14, 2019 [Tuesday]

The “Genesis birthright”* is-your-INSIGHT! Consider-your-fig-urative-“twins:”
Brothers Esau and-Jacob! No-one-loses; no-one-wins!

The birthright from-Father-Isaac – is-simply: “in-tuition;”
Esau-commands-ma-terials! Jacob has-“the vision!”

Yet, both-are-ONE! and-both-are-needed, to-live-a-com-plete-life,
Which-is-a-life-of-balance-and-harmony! [A drum plays with-a-fife!]

INTUITION! It-IS-yours, if-you-are-reading-here:
You-get-IT at your birth, (pause) and-you-should-never-fear!

YOU SIMPLY MUST ACCEPT – THAT YOU ARE TRULY “WHOLE;”
The World-doesn’t-want-you to-know-THERE-IS-NO-GOAL!

There’s-simply-NOTHING-here-to-learn, and-nothing-you-must-seek;
YOU HAVE IT THERE WITHIN YOU! Just take-e-you a-peek!

You’re-JACOB, when-you-use-INSIGHT like, when-you-act-on-a-“Hunch,”
You-then-transform-into-ISRAEL! and-you-might-get-“a-free-lunch,”
So-you-can-share-some-stew”-with-ESAU, your-sensible, “Big-Bro!”
And-you-“sink-or-swim,” together! It’s all you (don’t) need to know!

fin <3

  • – Much of The Bible is figurative. In “Genesis” [the first book of The “Old Testament”] a man named Isaac [meaning: LAUGHER, suggesting he doesn’t take life too seriously, although, perhaps, sincerely] “gives birth,” or recognizes two sons Esau and Jacob, perhaps aspects of himself! [Esau means HAIRY, perhaps a material, earthy fellow; Jacob means SUPPLANTER, one who takes things over!] Both sons want “a birthright’ from their “laughing father!” Jacob gets IT, and Esau gets the family estate [earthly possessions and the ability to use them well]. Jacob, who seems lost in life, eventually connects with his “higher self,” suggesting he gains insight, and he changes his name to ISRAEL, one “equal?” with The Divine! Perhaps, we can do this IF we choose to use our intuition, not just our intelligence, which IS ALSO useful to have a “successful life!” Thus, the so-called “12 Tribes” of Israel “issue” from an “intuitive” source! [“THIS IS ALL MY INTERPRETATION AND, AS FAR AS I KNOW, IS NOT FOUND ELSEWHERE! I SIMPLY USED IT FOR THIS POEM!” The Mystic Poet.]

Mr & Mrs cuddly poo ~ mothers day ๐Ÿง

“YOU’RE THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS, AND, APPARENTLY, I’M THE MAN OF YOURS!” a poem, in the series “Mr. & Mrs. Cuddly Poo!” May 14, 2019 (Tuesday) Remembering Mother’s Day on Sunday!

“Hi, Mommy!” “Hi, Daddy!” (pause) “Oh! My-GOOD-nuss!”
“I wanna kiss and hold you, [for]-you’re-my-Cuddly-Puss!”
I’ll always love you; I’m-HOME! once-AGAIN!
“You’re-The-Girl-Of-My-Dreams! (pause) You’ve ALWAYS been!”

And! IF-you-find that THAT-GIRL-dreams-of-YOU,
She’ll be YOUR MUM! and-She’ll-have-“something” new,
OR SOMETHING EXTRA SHARED-BY-TWO!
You’ll be-AT-HOME, with-Yab-Yum-and-woo!

It’s The Re-Re-UNION of-an-experiment-gone-a-muck;
“The Battle of The Sexes” will finally-be-out-of-luck!
For, Mother’s Day will-be Father’s Day,
And-they-coincide in-a-perfect way!

We-are-re-united LATE-AT-NIGHT,
In our dreams, where black and white,
Combine – to-make a-pale-gray,
Or-a-pale-shade-of-white making-“The-Perfect-Day!”

You may not remember me, and I don’t know your name,
But-we’re-in-each-others’-dreams, so-let-us-play-a-game:
Every-Mother’s-Day, you-can-be-my-mom,
And-I’ll-be-your daddy! Just call me TOM!*

For, it-seems-so-doubtful that-WE CAN “TURN THE TIDE,”
But IT’S WORTH A TRY! So, by faith, let-us-abide,
Together! Forever! and-BEAT THE ODDS,
Happy Mother’s Day [always]! For, we’re CHILDREN OF-THE-GODS!

fin


Sweetie honey ๐Ÿค—

WHY?

“SO? WHY?” a poem 14 May 2019 [Tuesday]

So! Why’s-nature’s-so-happy? and-carefree-and-gay?

Just-watch-nature-move [& scurry & fly], WATCH NATURE PLAY!

Nature’s-playing-OUTSIDE, singing [chirping and meowing] their songs,

Out-in sunshine and fresh air! See how everyone belongs,

In this “interactive game,” dancing and prancing and jumping around,

And, even the birds spend a-lot-of- time on The Ground,

Scraping and digging and making – WEIRD SOUND,

With a-clever ex-uberance, they-all are pro-found,

Not thinking or worrying about-what-might-come-next,

Or typing or talking or tweeting a text,

Or “making mistakes” – or losing the keys,

Or wanting to bring the-other-critters-“to their knees!”

It’s-[just]-A-LIFE-OF-FROLIC, along-with some eating!

Yes-there’s-dying-and-fighting, but-it’s-a “cordial competing,”

For grudges aren’t held – in This Outdoor Realm!

If you want to be happy [ier] , GO HUG YOU AN ELM! ๐Ÿ™‚ – Tree Friends Rock!

fin <3

Kindness โค๏ธโค๏ธ

Home Based Business

Watch and listen, your day is justified finally.

All those scammers emails ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Great way to lose your money ๐Ÿ’ต

POPEYE REALLY EXISTED ๐Ÿ˜€

Popeye the Sailor Man really existed.
His real name was Frank “Rocky” Fiegel. He was born in 1868 in Poland. He was a retired sailor contracted by Wiebusch’s tavern in the city of Chester, Illinois, to clean and maintain order. He had a reputation to be always involved in fighting, so he had a deformed eye (“Pop-eye”). He always smoked his pipe, so he spoke only with one side of his mouth. He loved to be around children. There is no accounting of his imaginary adventures which boasts about the exploits of his physical strength, ensuring he never lost a fight. The author of Popeye, Elzie Crisler Segar, born in Chester, met Frank when where the young man was to listen to their stories and years later honored him with the character Popeye the Sailor Man. Olive Oil also existed, she was Dora Paskel, owner of a grocery store in Chester. She is also described to dress just like Olive Oil. Segar kept in touch with Frank and has always helped him with money. Frank and Popeye also carried some inherent features like courage, chivalry and virility.