Only in Australia ~ Central Queensland ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ†

Mercifully tucked away in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, Mount Isa is a toxic desert hellscape with a lengthy rap sheet of shitness. The city revolves around its lead and copper smelters, belching pollution plants that provide work to the local population of deadset drongos and foolhardy FIFOs, as well as providing them with a free citywide sulphuric fart fragrance and bonus lead poisoning. Having babies with learning disabilities and third arms is all in the job for the hardworking lead-heads of โ€˜the Isaโ€™.

Another part of the job is embracing the oppressive heat of Mount Isa, a place so parched that even the so-called โ€˜wetโ€™ season is dustier than the Parramatta Eelsโ€™ trophy cabinet. The influx of men to work in the mines has also turned the town into a veritable sausage fest, to the point where in 2008 the mayor actually suggested ugly women come to Mount Isa to get laid. Unfortunately for anyone keen on taking up His Worshipโ€™s offer, the smelter has rendered most of the male population impotent – or, ironically, lacking lead in their pencils.

When theyโ€™re not busily poisoning the planet, Mount Isans enjoy getting on the goon, fighting in the street, pelting cars with rocks and harassing backpackers at the Irish Club. Mount Isaโ€™s smog-soaked sunrise can be a spectacular sight – if you ignore the silhouettes of shopkeepers hosing human shit off the footpath. The cityโ€™s premier event is its combined rodeo and Mardi Gras every August, when LGBTQ people are chased down the main street by enraged bulls.

As a result of the local death factory turning a bunch of bog-standard yobbos into a pack of CUBs (Cashed-Up Bogans), inhabitants of Mount Eyesore pay through the arse for the privilege of living in such a pootopia. Everything is exorbitant, from the price of drowning your sorrows at the local pub, to the cost of escaping – a flight to Brisbane can set you back more than flying from Brizzy to London. On the other hand – whatever it costs, itโ€™s worth it.

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Testicle Therapy

Testicle Therapy

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,โ€™ she told him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.  She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, ‘How does that feel’?

โ€˜Feels great,โ€™ he replied; โ€˜but I still think my thumb’s broken!โ€™

Beautiful Women โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ

~ Cuban Tody Bird

~ Cuban tody (Todus multicolor)

~ Photo by : Alfredo Irizarry
~ The Cuban tody is a bird species in the family Todidae that is restricted to Cuba and adjacent islands.

Cuban Tody Bird