Liberal GOVERNMENT AUSTRALIA ๐Ÿ˜ป

“WHAT MOTHER’S DAY MEANS TO LIBERALS.”๐Ÿ˜ป

MY FELLOW LIBERALS – Welcome to the launch of the 2019 Liberal Party election campaign. It’s a grand thing to see so many enthusiastic Liberal women here today, even if many of you seem to be impersonating empty seats. We have not chosen this auspicious date by accident. Let me explain why we’re fair dinkum about this important issue.

Liberals believe in motherhood. We believe being a mother is the one job a woman can do without supervision. Being impregnated by a white Liberal male is the highest aspiration any decent woman can have. We believe every Australian woman should have the right to become a mother. If you’re a white Christian woman whose heart’s in the right place, and as long as you don’t show too much ambition, and if you want to send your children to private school, the Liberal Party will support you all the way.

In this great party we have a saying: “Women are all right to have on tap, but not on top”. A look at the careers of Julie Bishop or Julia Banks will illustrate my point. We owe a great deal to mothers, all of whom were women. Just ask Gina Rinehart.

There’s always room for women at the highest levels of the Liberal Party. We need women to take on the tough jobs where feminine intuition and charm have a part to play. Ann Sudmalis, who regretfully is leaving our ranks, has been one of the great nodders in modern Parliamentary history, and she will be a hard act to follow. Melissa Price is a vital part of our policy platform, though for some reason journalists keep asking her difficult questions, which is why we’ve tried so hard to keep her away from the media in recent months.

Liberals know that behind every successful man there stands a woman, often his mother, or someone else’s. Peta Credlin & Vikki Campion have done sterling work to keep their conservative men toiling away at the grindstone, and we thank them for it on this historic date.

The Indue Card shows the depth of Liberal conviction when it comes to the sacred task of motherhood. This great innovation allows the women of Australia to focus on budgeting responsibly, and stops them having to worry their pretty little heads about trivial issues like freedom of personal choice.

By removing the wasteful carbon tax the Liberal Party has instantly created a resources boom, which means more jobs for men and the freedom to bear and raise children for countless young women. The money families save on power bills can be spent on new ironing boards and other helpful products to help Australian women keep their kitchens clean.

Under a Liberal Government, Australian women have never had it so good. The country needs women doing what women do best. Women make great secretaries, social workers, primary teachers, nurses, receptionists, and child-minders.

In the modern Liberal Party, girls, remember there’ll always be a place for you. It may not be the place you ‘d choose for yourself, but after all, if God had wanted women to run things, He would have made them first, wouldn’t He?

In closing, let me urge Liberal women to show their strongest stuff during this crucial week before the election. Remember, ladies, as long as you don’t forget your place is in the bedroom, not the boardroom, the party of Menzies & Fraser will always welcome you.

Now then: whose turn is it to put the kettle on?

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One of my first “Lonely Hearts”. Enjoy peeps. By Facebook ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿ˜‚

Interesting story folks ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘

Norway: *5 weeks paid vacation. 6 when you hit 60 years old.

US: *Life expectancy 78.69 years

Oh yeah ๐Ÿ˜…

I’m so excited !! I just paid off $10,000 in debt, just got a $20,000 salary raise, credit score just hit 901, got approved for a brand new 2019 Ford F350 and just booked a vacation to Jamaica for a week! My finances are flourishing, and planning a trip to Hawaii in September!!
I don’t know whose status this is, but I wish it was mine. ๐Ÿค”

Did you know that ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜…

Nobody can say “Happy Mother’s Day!” quite like a Victorian children’s book.

Oh my goodness gracious me that is horrible ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผโ€๐ŸŒพ

AUSTRALIA HAS VERY creepy TOWNS๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…

Originally named Macguireโ€™s Punt by some bloke with a dirty mind and poor spelling skills, Shepparton began life as a sheep station, before transforming into a rail hub, before finally ending up in its current incarnation as a smouldering post-apocalyptic crater. Its current name โ€˜Sheppartonโ€™ is a portmanteau of the cityโ€™s two favourite things – โ€˜sheepโ€™ and โ€˜methamphetamineโ€™. Sheppartonโ€™s tourism slogan is โ€˜Many Great Thingsโ€™ which is at best a charitable exaggeration and at worst blatant false advertising. What Shepparton lacks in culture, entertainment, nightlife and drinkable water it makes up for in drugs, bogans, teenage pregnancy and the ubiquitous scent of cow shit.

Common hobbies in Shepparton include jamming fruit into tins, doing lappies up Wyndham Street in your souped-up debtmobile and having your welfare payments quarantined by Centrelink. Maude Street Mall is a popular spot for drug deals and knife fights, while the ironically-named Olympic Avenue wins the gold medal for โ€˜getting stabbed with a broken VB stubbyโ€™.

Shepparton displays a collection of life-size fibreglass cows in public spaces, as a tribute to the life-size actual cows that used to roam the town before an enterprising Sheppartard swapped them all for a clapped-out Commodore. The Shepparton Art Museum houses the worldโ€™s most significant collection of Australian ceramic, which is also the worldโ€™s most boring thing to collect. The main event in Shepparton is the Spring Car Nationals, a giant magnet for wild packs of criminals and fume-huffing hoons and a particularly great time not to visit.

Shittarton: Many Great Things Are Not Here.

SHEPPARTON VICTORIA IS CREEPY ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

KINDNESS

For my heart does long to be held underneath the stars with a warm gentle soul; wrapping his kindness around me with comfort and care.

To look into those troubled eyes and see a star that longs to shine. A soul that wants to share, a heart that wants to love. A curious encounter of the worlds we share through all our colours alike.
The shades, the textures, the distances we hold between our hearts.

For with you I am strong, I am bold, and Iโ€™m never told to silence my being. Iโ€™m heard, Iโ€™m seen, Iโ€™m dancing delicately on clouds, that wrap me in the soft, gentle, purity, that keeps my heart beating strong; effervescent by the moon beam that draws light upon the hidden treasures only longing eyes may see.

Iโ€™m fierce, Iโ€™m brave, Iโ€™m unafraid to share the parts most fear, and that delicacy can come a mirror of their own unknown. Iโ€™ll hold out my hand let you grab it in time and hold gently and warmly in yours, and as I kiss your lips youโ€™ll know youโ€™re safe but the time will come when youโ€™re gone.

For it is not what Iโ€™ve done or said or been, it is the trouble you battle against in your own mind. Undeserving, unworthy, not enough in your own eyes, but through mine you always shine.

Take heed my sweet, you are safe not to fear, for itโ€™s open and ready when you need to draw near. Iโ€™ll not come with demands or expect what you canโ€™t see, with
all these things in your head you just forgot to see me.

The gentle dance

KINDNESS IS FREE โค๏ธ

KELLY GANG AUSTRALIAN BUSH RANGERS HISTORICAL

Constable Patrick Charles Gascoigne and his wife Mary, photographed by Weller of Maryborough. Circa 1875-1880.

Gascoigne was one of the first police to engage the Kelly Gang at Glenrowan. He was one of the only police to see Ned Kelly attempt to mount a horse (unsuccessfully) and even succeeded in shooting off one of Ned’s shoulder plates. He and Constable Arthur are the only people on record who were present at the siege to have seen the two sky-rockets supposedly let off as a signal to sympathisers.

Malabar Parakeet (Psittacula columboides) in India by Kallol Mukherjee. ~ FIRST ROW, TOP LEFT

“NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT’S LIKE!” a poem May 12, 2019 (Sunday)

“NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT’S LIKE!” a poem May 12, 2019 (Sunday)

sung to: “Behind Blue Eyes” by the rock group “The Who!”

No one – wants – to Res-pect A WISE MAN! A middle-aged wise man – – –
When he starts to cry!
OR a – Democrat!! (pause) (pause)

at – a-Pres – – i dential Convention for Republicans –
[when-he-eats] Eating apple pie!

Well – I thi – – – nk We need more tolerance –
Mo -o-o-re Tolerance – for Democratic Wise Guys

and IF we – – – e e – -e — CAN Give ’em more Tolerance –
All their tears – Will su-u-u-rely DRY!

No one respects A-lapsed-Jew, In The Ghetto,
Whose-name’s Gep-pet-to With his wooden boy!
& – no-one accepts – A Big Dog – with a bon-er
He’s always a loner Eating Apple Pie!

I think Apple Pie -is yummy The-e- kind my ma-ma coo-ooked for me!
It di-ges-ted well in my tummy – – – with whipped c ream – so na-atu-rally!

No one wants to re-spect – no wise man,
Who has no plan, Hanging on A TRee!
So, cut him down (with a frown) from that cross, son
And-then you better run – from The Tri-nity!

Well, I think-we- respect power -money and bru-u-tality –
And, IF we can’t see -a change soo-oon – Well, this World will BE- his-tory!

fin <3

Thought for the day๐Ÿ

GOD’S ACCURACY:

This is really interestingโ€ฆ  Enjoyโ€ฆ  

When GOD solves our problems, we have faith in HIS abilities. When GOD doesn’t solve our

problems, HE has faith in our abilities.

One may observe God’s accuracy in the hatching of eggsโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

*Those of the Canary   in 14 days ;

*Those of the Barnyard Hen   in 21 days ;

*Eggs of Ducks and Geese   in 28 days ;

*Those of the Mallard   in 35 days ;

*Eggs of the Parrot and the Ostrich hatch   in 42 days .

(Notice, they are all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!)

See God’s Wisdom in the making of an Elephantโ€ฆ The four legs of this great beast all bend

forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made.

God planned that this animal would have a huge bodyโ€ฆ too large to live on two legs.

For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.

The Horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.

A Cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.

How wise the Lord is in all His works of Creation!

Each Watermelon has an even number of stripes on the Rind.

Each Orange has an even number of segments.

Each ear of Corn has an even number of rows.

Each stalk of Wheat has an even number of grains.

Every bunch of Bananas has on its lowest row an even number of Bananas, and each row

decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row an odd number.

Amazing! There’s moreโ€ฆ

The Waves of the Sea roll in on shore Twenty-six to the Minute in all kinds of weather.

All Grains are found in even numbers on the stalks..

God has caused the Flowers to Blossom at certain specified times during the day.

Linnaeus, the Great Botanist, once said that if he had a Conservatory containing the right

kind of Soil, Moisture, and Temperature, he could tell the Time of Day or Night by the

Flowers that were Open and those that were Closed.

The Lives of each of us may be ordered by the Lord in a Beautiful Way for His Glory,  if we will only Entrust Him with our Lives.

If we try to Regulate our own Lives, we will have only Mess and Failure.

Only God, who made our Brains and Hearts, can Successfully Guide them.

And did you also knowโ€ฆ

Life without God is like an Unsharpened pencil – it has no Point.

I pray God bless you 

Union STATION

“UNION STA-TION!” a poem May 12, 2019 (Mother’s Day Sunday)

We’re ALL- [of us] – Fathers, (pause) All-of-us, Mothers,
And, also, you-know-it: Sisters – and Brothers!
Your mother and you are actually ONE,
And-her-daughter ([also]-a-mother) and-also her-son!

ALL are important; all have their place,
But MOTHERS-[are]-so [especially]-important, for-our-human-race,
For, mothers, unlike-the-others, [FOCUS-on:] are-NURTURE-and-nourishment,
Good-beginnings-[and]-self-sacrifice, what love’s truly meant!

For-a-“mother, true,” takes-her-baby-to-her-breast,
And showers love and kisses, and can-be-The-Best,
Example we’ll ever have, of service and touch,
And loving FOREVER, even-in-“a-clutch!”

THE MOTHER OF GOD (and we all are too),
Kneels at “The Cross of Life” just-for-you,
With tears of compassion, longing and worry;
The I-deal mother (pause) is NEVER in a hurry!

SHE full-fills YOUR needs, which are [always] para-mount;
None of her sacrifice(s) – does-she-ever-count!
So, on this fine day, one-celebrated -in-May,
Let us thank our Dear Mother(s)! In comm-UNION, we’ll pray!

fin <3