Do you Jerk off ? Of course I do
When I was 13 years old, I was in class 7th. I sat with a boy who was dirty in his mind. This is not what I thought about him but other kids told me so. They also warned me to be beware of him. One day, this dirty boy asked me whether I shake my “popat” or not. I said no and he told me to do so that very evening after returning home. But what happens when you do that? I asked. Something like fevicol will come out of it and you’ll feel happy after that, my friend said. After going back home, I did as he had described. It took me 15 minutes to get the fevicol out of my “khada popat” and at that particular moment my whole body got a shock from the thrust that I experienced in the region below my navel.
While shaking my popat, I also was mentally playing with the slim and trim belly of a saree wearing kindergarten teacher who I used to see in our school. Next day, I told the dirty boy about what I did and he asked me to not talk about this with anyone except him. This was our secret act. He had already imagined all the teachers in our school and I had to do the same. In reality we simply were kids in search for more marks in exams. But in our toilets, we could touch and feel the naked skin of any of the teachers we wanted to and that too without the fear getting any punishment. You can also think about the small small boobies of girls in our class but more enjoyment is in grown up milk booths, the dirty boy told me and winked. For three more years I went on shaking my popat to take out fevicol from it. At 16, I finally came to know about masturbation,ejaculation and semen. By then, all the girls and ladies I liked, they had been stripped in my imagination. And the best part is that they didn’t know anything about me and dirty boy’s secret act.
It has been 10 years since I first smelled my fevicol while masturbating and every time I do this secret act, I feel a sense of happiness. There are various reasons to jack off. On some days it acts as a stress reliever before sleeping while some mornings compel me to the get excess energy out of my body. I do it to avoid wet dreams and I also do it because I feel stuck in my lower abdomen if I don’t do it for a week or so. No matter what the external situation might be, the intrinsic motivation is to have imaginary sex with someone who doesn’t know me or won’t be interested in having sex with me in reality.
Till the age of 20, I was sexually deprived to such an extent that even the touch of a woman’s hand with mine would give me an erection which was hard beyond what I can describe in words. Later on I used to have sex with her in the closed arena of my bathroom or toilet. Once I even masturbated in a polythene because I didn’t want to wash my hands in the cold month of January. I also wasn’t in the mood to move out of my blanket. After finishing up,I wrapped the polythene in a paper and kept it under my bed. The next morning I threw it. Disgusting, isn’t it? Masturbation is for happiness, the dirty boy had taught. Other people won’t like you for doing it so don’t talk about it, he had warned. Once I saw a man rubbing one out in the public urinal at Allahabad railway station. He didn’t know that this secret act is meant to be done in private. He could have at least used the pooping toilet that had a door to hide his wrinkled and saggy popat.
Three years back, I had sex for the first time and it was nothing like masturbation. It was as if a whole grown up human body is shaking my popat. My hands had never felt so inadequate until then. Just at the mere remembrance of that afternoon and that lady, I can feel the fleshy sword in my red Macroman underwear getting ready for battle. A lot of people will be repulsed by the account of a young man who describes the details about him jerking off. Every woman with whom I would be more than excited to have sex, they won’t necessarily feel the same for me. She might not even know me and even if she knows, I am not Brad Pitt. I just am an ordinary guy who wants to have sex but doesn’t get to do so as often as I want and also with whom I want. My only option at 13 was shaking my popat and the same option exists now. Only difference is that today I refer to me and my dirty friend’s secret act as masturbation.