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Please Don’t Put Vicks VapoRub up your Vaginas, Ladies
Please Don’t Put Vicks VapoRub up your Vaginas, Ladies
It is startling that enough women have been putting Vicks VapoRub up their vaginas to warrant a warning from healthcare professionals, but here we are.
Experts are urging women not to clean their vaginas with Vicks Vaporub after a bizarre internet trend has compelled many to experience tingling in their genitalia.
Online forums and blogs claim the ointment, intended to soothe an irritating cough, can boost women’s sex lives, clean the intimate area, cure thrush and even maintain a pleasant odour on the vagina.
Maintain a pleasant odour on the vagina.
We don’t even want to begin to imagine what that combination might smell like.
Ask the Google Machine about “Vicks VapoRub and vagina” and you’re met with an alarming number of blogs and forums that suggest the ointment can be used on your lady garden.
We implore you. Do not put Vicks on your genitals.
Have we forgotten about that time this woman issued a warning not to use a certain brand of Mint and Tea Tree body lotion on your girlie bits, using the emotive words
Have we learnt nothing?
Doctors warned women just last week not to put cucumbers in their vaginas in another bizarre and dangerous trend that is sweeping the web.
Dubbed the ‘vagina facial’, the craze involves inserting the peeled salad staple into your intimate parts before twisting it around for approximately 20 minutes. Good luck lasting that long is all we can say!
Bloggers claim the fruit’s high vitamin content sanitises genitals and gives vaginas a pleasant odour.
This is getting to Dude, Where’s My Car levels of stupid.😁😂😅
Also this year, we’ve been warned not to put glitter up our noonies, not use wasps nests to tighten our vaginas, and to steer clear of shoving jade eggs up there.
Who is silly enough to try any of this stupid information 😂😅
Dr Vanessa Mackay, a gynaecologist and spokeswomen for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, has told women to cut it out.
“The vagina contains good bacteria, which are there to protect it from infections.
“Disturbing the natural flora through extensive cleaning can lead to infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush, and inflammation.
“Use plain, unperfumed soaps to wash the area around the vagina [the vulva], not inside it, gently every day.”
If you want it all tingly and hot down there, you can buy lubes that do that for you. Granted, they won’t clear your stuffed nose at the same time, but you won’t harm yourself either.😅😂😁
“WREX!” a poem. Monday – November 19, 2018
We’re just 2 wrecks, in The Middle of The Sea!
There is: WRECK YOU – also – there-is: WRECK ME!
We’re wrecks!* unsalvageable! and pitiful too,
So – WE FALL INTO EACH OTHER – that’s-what-wrecks try-to-do!
I’m-a wreck; you’re-a wreck – and-we-can never get along,
Without – some other wrecks around! Wrecks – to be – a-mong!
2 WRECKS! Hugging! (in The Middle) at The Bottom – of The Sea –
WE DON’T CARE – if we’re so “wrecky!” WRECKS then, WE WILL BE!!
I am REX – and YOU! REX! Kings of our fine life,
Rulers of The Universe! Hus-e-band – and-wife,
Ruling, as the wrecks we are – REX, The King of ALL –
And Regina, ruling – with her Rex – Genders are a ball!
Word Games, ever simple – de-scribe-this re-al-ty:
This gorgeous, bewildered – place of ours – Our Kingdom IN The Sea,
With “wrecky”-symphonic music, lifting-us from some Watery Floor,
REX is wrecks, and WRECKS R US – now! – for-ever-more!
“Good morning, there now, Mrs. Rex – I-AM – your Wrecky-poo!”
“Kiss-me, you wreck – I can’t get enough!”
This-is-just-what-wrecks-will-do! 🙂 – Yup!
Yesterday after shopping in our local supermarket, I was in the queue at the Check Out, and heard when the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.
The woman apologized to the young girl & then sighed, “We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.”
The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. You folk didn’t do enough to save our environment for future generations.”
The older lady said “AHH yes you’re right — our generation didn’t have the “green thing” in its day.” She sighed then continued:
Back then, we returned milk bottles, lemonade bottles & beer bottles to the shops. The shops then sent them back to the plant to be washed, sterilized & refilled, so those same bottles were used over & over, thus REALLY were recycled. But we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.
Grocery stores put our groceries into brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) were not defaced by our scribbling. Then we were able to personalize our books on their brown paper bag/covers. But, too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back then.
I remember how we walked up stairs because we didn’t have an escalator in every store or office building; walked to the grocery store & didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go 200 yards (0.18 km).
. . . But she was right. We didn’t have the “green thing” in our day.
Back then we washed the baby’s nappies because we didn’t have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind & solar power really did dry our clothes back in our days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. . . . But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.
Back then we had one radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And if anyone did own a TV, it had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of a football pitch. When cooking we blended & stirred by hand coz we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send by post, we used layers of old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working, so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity., , , , But she’s right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.
We drank from a tap or fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, & we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the “green thing” back then. Back then, people took the bus & kids rode bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mothers into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s expensive car or van, which cost what a whole house did before the “green thing”.
Oh! and we had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles (ca. 37,015 km) out in space in order to find the nearest leisure park.
. . . . But it so sad this current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then? . . . I think you should forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from some smart ass young person. . …
We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off… Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smart ass who can’t make change without the cash register telling them how much. 🤔
“A ROMANTIC TURN!” a poem November 22,2018 – Thursday = Thanksgiving!
“God” has tricked us – REALLY GOOD!
You sexy thang! – my scrumptious “pud!”
YOU MAKE-A ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE;
I JUST-A HAVE-TO CLING-‘ROUND-YOU!!
‘Cause-you-feel-so-good, so comfy – and nice,
GOD HAS TRICKED US! – ‘cause-we’re “FILLED WITH LICE!”
I need your “sug!”* I need your spice!
And NOW – I’m sure (pause) ta-get-your advice!
We-got-‘nough-GERMS! to sink Missouri!
Despite all that! I’M IN A HURRY,
To make you mine – to take you home,
To dress you DOWN – and – “apply-the-comb!”
And spruce and groom you EVERY DAY,
GOD HAS TRICKED US! to work away,
Lady, I (pause) a-NEED YOU NOW,
“It’ll ALL WORK OUT,” says GOD – “Some how!!!”
We’ll spend-ALL-OUR-TIME, kissing and hugging,
Doing-UNSPEAKABLE-ACTS – we’ll-call-it-“fugging!”
I AM undone – I have no brain,
When GOD has-tricked-us – to go insane!
I MUST encircle-you – your shoulders STRONG,
Your body THICK – I AM – King Kong,
A fiery BEAST! – IN LUST with YOU,
GOD HAS TRICKED US! IT’S NOTHING NEW!
This same old trick – HAS WORKED FOR AGES!
LOVE AND ROMANCE – TURN THE PAGES!
Invading-angels’-privacy? – I-think-you/we-are-all-wet!
You’re filled with A POWER-TRIP – which-rivals Peter, The-Great!
But, REMEMBER: despots! They (eventually) suffer-the-same-fate:
And WHAT’S THAT FATE? (You-might-ask!) You might-ask of me!
Well, CORRUPTION! (pause) for,
“Absolute-power! (pause) doth-corrupt-eventu-al-ly!”
Sure! “You-gotta-have-LAWS!” thus saith The Lord,
A zillion commandments? Are we all on board?
But THE LAW OF LOVE, THE LAW OF ONE, MUST-BE-FOUND-IN-YOUR- HEART, MY WAYWARD SON!**
“GOD!”-(L. O. L.) has-placed – These PROGRAMS IN OUR HEADs,
To do STRANGE THINGS (pause) in our beds!
AND – in The Heads of CODERS, who slave for-FACEBOOK!
Becoming-ZOMBIES! Who’ll BLEEP-and-won’t (take-a) look,
‘Cause ALGORITHMS-ARE-UPON-US, (pause)
Like a hurricane which hits the shore;
We’ll-keep-trying-to LEGISLATE MORALITY –
And we’ll fail –
** – or daughter!!
Subject: How to make and spend $50?
The $50 Lesson
Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbours stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.
During our friendly conversation, I asked their 12 year old daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be Prime Minister some day.
Both of her parents – Socialist Labor- were standing there, so I
Asked her, “If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?”
She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”
Her parents beamed with pride!
“Wow! What a worthy goal!” I said. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re Prime Minister to do that!” I told her.
“What do you mean?” she replied.
So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I’ll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”
I said, “Welcome to the Liberal Party.”
Her parents aren’t speaking to me.!!!!
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