“THE C-O-R-N-Y P-A-S-T-O-R!”* da poem. SUNDAY (09/23/18)
There ONCE was a time, when-”corny-pastors” got respect!
FOR they kept-the-service-LIGHT – ‘cause – They would reflect,
The joy and the happiness that Jesus transmitted;
All-these-serious-preachers – seem-so slimy and pitted,
Like Horatio Jones, a pastor from “Queens,”**
Who died late one Sunday – He ate jelly beans –
One-got-lodged in his throat – ‘Twas a terrible scene!
He-got-sent to a place – that was smoky and mean!!
Now, don’t get me wrong! His parishioners, they LOVED him,
And to donate their tithes and their sweat and their souls,
So, they got lots of cash – in the platinum collection bowls!!
Well, so there’s our Horatio! and he’s tied down real good!!
The DEVIL is coming! (I-guess) we knew that He would,
Be coming for Horatio – with big, blood-shot eyes,
And Horatio’s just screaming, and the figure just cries:
“I WANT YOUR SOUL, and I’LL TORTURE YOU LONG!”
And The Devil’s so fast – and vicious – and strong!!
AND CAME WITHIN INCHES (pause) Before TAKING IT OFF?!
‘Twas a mask He was wearing! It was Jesus – “Enough!”
As He laughed: “LIGHTEN UP, lose the blues, Pastor Guy!”
And Horatio is (suddenly) BACK (here!) – You ask (me) well, WHY?
Well, he’s back – to remind-folks-of-a-choice-Bible-lesson:
“LIGHTEN UP! The-burden’s-light!” It’s a real nice blessin’,
To know that-all-this-serious – is WAY OVERDONE!
But most-congregations – don’t appreciate – having that much fun,
So, they fired poor Horatio, but his work now is sweet:
As he sells lots of masks! on a busy city street!
And-he-has: Devil Masks – and kittens – Corny Pastors – and witches,
Jesus and Mary – and-some-will-put-you-in-stitches!!
Yet, HE NEVER WEARS A MASK! And when folks ask him “WHY?”
He says: “I’m-just-a-CORNY-PASTOR! My mask is NO LIE!
I like the-mask-of-humility! For I-try to be LIGHT!”
IF WE LAUGH AT OURSELVES – THE WHOLE WORLD CAN BE BRIGHT!
* – OR – you can substitute any other, “appropriate” two-word term that MIGHT fit there!! 🙂
** – This could be “Queens,” an area of New York City, New York, U. S. A., or the northern-most area of Australia (Queens Land), where a lot of people go to visit the wonderful beaches and see fascinating sights!