“THE C-O-R-N-Y P-A-S-T-O-R!”

“THE C-O-R-N-Y P-A-S-T-O-R!”* da poem. SUNDAY (09/23/18)

There ONCE was a time, when-”corny-pastors” got respect!

FOR they kept-the-service-LIGHT – ‘cause – They would reflect,

The joy and the happiness that Jesus transmitted;

All-these-serious-preachers – seem-so slimy and pitted,

Like Horatio Jones, a pastor from “Queens,”**

Who died late one Sunday – He ate jelly beans –

One-got-lodged in his throat – ‘Twas a terrible scene!

He-got-sent to a place – that was smoky and mean!!

Now, don’t get me wrong! His parishioners, they LOVED him,

As-he-urged-all-to-be-serious-with-propriety-and-prim,

And to donate their tithes and their sweat and their souls,

So, they got lots of cash – in the platinum collection bowls!!

Well, so there’s our Horatio! and he’s tied down real good!!

The DEVIL is coming! (I-guess) we knew that He would,

Be coming for Horatio – with big, blood-shot eyes,

And Horatio’s just screaming, and the figure just cries:

“I WANT YOUR SOUL, and I’LL TORTURE YOU LONG!”

And The Devil’s so fast – and vicious – and strong!!

AND CAME WITHIN INCHES (pause) Before TAKING IT OFF?!

‘Twas a mask He was wearing! It was Jesus – “Enough!”

As He laughed: “LIGHTEN UP, lose the blues, Pastor Guy!”

And Horatio is (suddenly) BACK (here!) – You ask (me) well, WHY?

Well, he’s back – to remind-folks-of-a-choice-Bible-lesson:

“LIGHTEN UP! The-burden’s-light!” It’s a real nice blessin’,

To know that-all-this-serious – is WAY OVERDONE!

But most-congregations – don’t appreciate – having that much fun,

So, they fired poor Horatio, but his work now is sweet:

As he sells lots of masks! on a busy city street!

And-he-has: Devil Masks – and kittens – Corny Pastors – and witches,

Jesus and Mary – and-some-will-put-you-in-stitches!!

Yet, HE NEVER WEARS A MASK! And when folks ask him “WHY?”

He says: “I’m-just-a-CORNY-PASTOR! My mask is NO LIE!

I like the-mask-of-humility! For I-try to be LIGHT!”

IF WE LAUGH AT OURSELVES – THE WHOLE WORLD CAN BE BRIGHT!

fin. ❤

* – OR – you can substitute any other, “appropriate” two-word term that MIGHT fit there!! 🙂

** – This could be “Queens,” an area of New York City, New York, U. S. A., or the northern-most area of Australia (Queens Land), where a lot of people go to visit the wonderful beaches and see fascinating sights!

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