“AND, GOSH, DARN, HERE’S THE REST OF THE STORY!” a poem. a.k.a.: “Oh, Doo-Da Day!” a.k.a.: “Find You Some Beach Front Property There, Pilgrim!” September 10, 2018 (MOON day)
“I’ll be back!!!!” first-said-by-JESUS; then, by Arnold S.!
“Oh, yea, sure!” was their reply – and-NOW WE-DON’T-HAVE-TO GUESS!
Sure-enough, The LORD came back – He died and then returned,
BUT! Was-everyone THAT excited – by what he said he’d learned?
But what He brought back with him – was nothing much,* THEY say;
He-started his little story – by singing DOO-DA-DAY,
“Well, I was crucified, ya-know – there, upon the cross,
And, then, I left my little body – and THEN I MET ‘THE BOSS!’
I met a surly-confident-guy – his name was Jimmy Hoffa;
He smoked a real big stogie and had an awful cough-a;
He said: “DO-YA-WANNA-GO-BACK-THERE? to Spaceship Earthie-Poo?”
“Well, ya, I guess,” said Jesus;
“You’re kinda stupid too!” (said Jimmy!)
“Why-do-you-say that?” Jesus asked;
“‘Cause NO ONE GOES BACK THERE!
It sucks so bad and is so sad, that no one really cares,
Or Jupiter – or – Your Anus, for-on-Earth (pause)
And-THEY’ll-immunize-you, which makes you sick,
And YELL at you, as soon as you can kick –
And you gotta work BY THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROW;
And, then, you can’t get LAID, so you marry a cow!***
I TELL YOU – you should have your head-in-“an-exam,”
‘Cause EARTH, I’m-tellin’-you, is-a friggin’ damn,
HARD-PLACE-TO-LIVE-IN! You sure you wanna-return?”
“Yea, I guess,” said Jesus; “my MISSION is to LEARN,
Those darn-demented-’civilians’-that NO ONE EVER DIES,
That everyone’s ETERNAL – so, when-you-THINK it’s your demise,
Everyone-guesses-THAT’S IT, but, like-you-say, IT ISN’T SO,
So, yea, I guess I better-go-back, so everyone will know,
That, IF you’re not too clever, you CAN go back to That Place,
Again-and-again-and-again-to-continue – to-rejoin-The-Human-RACE,
And run and run (pause) and NEVER finish well,
AND BELIEVE, IF YOU’RE BAD, YOU GOTTA GO TO HELL,
When THE TRUTH IS: When you ‘DIE!!!’ you can choose a nice locale,
And set-cha down there – on some beach (pause)
With-a-sweet-little-Aussie-gal! 🙂 – Yay!
- It was so NOT well “received,” that there is not even mention of it in The Bible! That is why I, The Mystic Poet, thought I better let y’all know about it here! You’re welcome!
** – or your clitoris, if THEY can do it legally, so as to minimize any pleasure you might get out of (what they call) LIFE!! 🙂
*** – or an ugly, stupid boy – and, rest assured, except for Mr. Potato Head, ALL guys are ugly and stupid. He must have a bigger brain than Einstein! What a HEAD. “If you wanna get a head in life, be a potato!” The Mystic Poet.