“AND, GOSH, DARN, HERE’S THE REST OF THE STORY!”  a poem.  a.k.a.: “Oh, Doo-Da Day!” a.k.a.:

“AND, GOSH, DARN, HERE’S THE REST OF THE STORY!” a poem. a.k.a.: “Oh, Doo-Da Day!” a.k.a.: “Find You Some Beach Front Property There, Pilgrim!” September 10, 2018 (MOON day)

“I’ll be back!!!!” first-said-by-JESUS; then, by Arnold S.!

“Oh, yea, sure!” was their reply – and-NOW WE-DON’T-HAVE-TO GUESS!

Sure-enough, The LORD came back – He died and then returned,

BUT! Was-everyone THAT excited – by what he said he’d learned?

But what He brought back with him – was nothing much,* THEY say;

He-started his little story – by singing DOO-DA-DAY,

And continued:

“Well, I was crucified, ya-know – there, upon the cross,

And, then, I left my little body – and THEN I MET ‘THE BOSS!’

I met a surly-confident-guy – his name was Jimmy Hoffa;

He smoked a real big stogie and had an awful cough-a;

He said: “DO-YA-WANNA-GO-BACK-THERE? to Spaceship Earthie-Poo?”

“Well, ya, I guess,” said Jesus;

“You’re kinda stupid too!” (said Jimmy!)

“Why-do-you-say that?” Jesus asked;

“‘Cause NO ONE GOES BACK THERE!

It sucks so bad and is so sad, that no one really cares,

To-go-back-to-be-tortured-more; mostly-FOLKS-GO-FOR-VENUS,

Or Jupiter – or – Your Anus, for-on-Earth (pause)

They’ll-circumcise-your-PRIVATES,**

And-THEY’ll-immunize-you, which makes you sick,

And YELL at you, as soon as you can kick –

And you gotta work BY THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROW;

And, then, you can’t get LAID, so you marry a cow!***

I TELL YOU – you should have your head-in-“an-exam,”

‘Cause EARTH, I’m-tellin’-you, is-a friggin’ damn,

HARD-PLACE-TO-LIVE-IN! You sure you wanna-return?”

“Yea, I guess,” said Jesus; “my MISSION is to LEARN,

Those darn-demented-’civilians’-that NO ONE EVER DIES,

That everyone’s ETERNAL – so, when-you-THINK it’s your demise,

Everyone-guesses-THAT’S IT, but, like-you-say, IT ISN’T SO,

So, yea, I guess I better-go-back, so everyone will know,

That, IF you’re not too clever, you CAN go back to That Place,

Again-and-again-and-again-to-continue – to-rejoin-The-Human-RACE,

And run and run (pause) and NEVER finish well,

AND BELIEVE, IF YOU’RE BAD, YOU GOTTA GO TO HELL,

When THE TRUTH IS: When you ‘DIE!!!’ you can choose a nice locale,

And set-cha down there – on some beach (pause)

With-a-sweet-little-Aussie-gal! 🙂 – Yay!

fin. ❤

    • It was so NOT well “received,” that there is not even mention of it in The Bible! That is why I, The Mystic Poet, thought I better let y’all know about it here! You’re welcome!

** – or your clitoris, if THEY can do it legally, so as to minimize any pleasure you might get out of (what they call) LIFE!! 🙂

*** – or an ugly, stupid boy – and, rest assured, except for Mr. Potato Head, ALL guys are ugly and stupid. He must have a bigger brain than Einstein! What a HEAD. “If you wanna get a head in life, be a potato!” The Mystic Poet.

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