(54) (Then I wrote you) A POEM: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, IF I should die, but still can “see” (AM AWARE), in love’s embrace I hope to be:

This is MY story of dying – Whether in the flesh or in the spirit, I know not, I meet my muse (that’s YOU) we embrace in loving union & I die (maybe a heart attack) – My apparent “J” awareness is transferred “into” my beloved & “the 2 become one.” The story continues . . . as my “beloved,” perhaps attending a spiritual retreat, awakens from sleep &, in group, announces that her ex-husband has just “passed away,” but is now presently with her, inhabiting her body. She announces this to the group leader, who believes she is insane and even tells her so & that she needs help. However, 1 or 2 in the group approach her after the meeting and confirm or affirm her experience, saying, perhaps, this has happened to them too or, simply, they are certain this “thing” is true as part of her story, their story &/or some mythological truth, some transcendent, cosmological consideration of The Absolute, described as best it can be. (a) Movie is remembered: BEING JOHN MALKOVICH! Perhaps, based on talking w/SR, I have had a stroke, or, better yet, died – & 3 years in the parents’ little house is my equivalent of Christ’s being 3 days & nights in Hell, or in the tomb, before His resurrection. Is that too much to hope for? CERTAINLY IT MUST BE! This is insane sounding, but it SURE FEELS LIKE AN EXCELLENT STORY! I wonder if this sexual death bed story of mine might have been part of the mythology of Kalindi & Gourasa(n)a? Off topic: “There’s a crack in everything; that’s how the Light gets in.” CAROL SWANSON DAVID SWANSON – CAROL SEIDMAN “The Best guesses are Lies!” – Terrance McKenna. Nobody knows anything . . . Control is what beliefs are all about. We are kept from experience . . . We are repressed. EMBRACE CHAOS. EMPOWER INDIVIDUAL ARCHAIC REVOLUTION: A society on the brink of social breakdown appears to be a prerequisite. DOOMED – The World is dying . . . we are viewing it as a soap opera – it is our story. WHO’S DREAMING WHOM? He must gather all things unto himself. Eph. 3:20 Phil 3:20,21 Eph. 1: 9, 10 Eph. 1:22 1 Cor. 15: 28 (21, 22, 23) Col. 1: 19-20 . . . and find yourself – i.e.: That You are The Divine TREE OF KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD & EVIL TREE OF LIFE (L.O.L.!)

“THE CONTENTED HEART,” a.k.a.: “Diary of a Madman!” page 54. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJmOe9OPmRg