p. 25 entitled – Your effort to MAKE A POSITIVE SPIN 3/16/2015 – MONDAY – ๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด

p. 25 entitled – Your effort to MAKE A POSITIVE SPIN 3/16/2015 – MONDAY – In (the state of the writer) such a state (of mind, like today) there’s a resistance by a “happier J” (the ACCEPTABLE J) to not (25) write because the writing will be negatively oriented, which this is: The diary (is) clearly an “ego(is)tic effort to conquer being housebound: the effort IS an effort & “the negative side,” so to speak, has as much “right” to express its dis-satisfaction with this diary process as IT has to be disgusted with almost 60 years of the process of getting out of the house & DOING the best American dream possible. So, there’s the anti-Diary Sentiment, which is just what it is – not life affirming & not wanting additional energy spent in “striving” to be a better person, to overcome obstacles & please parents & society, who are bound to denigrate the negative side. How CAN you integrate ME (I AM ? who is just being “fair” & writing down this account. – (2) just feel like I am body/hand – writing this down, not formulating it. – How’s that for dissociation.) when the only purpose “I” sense about this so-called integration is a further suppression or “forcing to go along” attitude. You can talk a good game about the value of psychosis & the dropping of the desire to get better (which is really just a veiled attempt to bury that which hates this society & the way 10000s of yrs. of human history (has been) forcing misery & torture on the weak & disenfranchised, as well as destroying what once was a relatively dangerous, but natural, rustic setting (although it’s obviously a “construct,” like a dream). Earth (is) trashed, animals & enemies are tortured daily & you want me to be happy with such a state of affairs, with a continued, dreamily hypnotized exploitation for the collective self-satisfaction of self-called “civilization,” which is really a (the) height of smug, vile activity & double talk. Anyone with slightly open eyes can recognize hell on earth is already here, hell’s getting worse, & humanity is dancing on the edge of a Volcano, watching TV or making great, humanitarian plans to aid the less fortunate by building wells, more building, raping the soil to produce more & all these processes creating more pollutants, discord – all the while convinced that these stellar efforts are making things better – This is NOT so-called progress, sanity or kindness – It’s just trying to perpetuate & further entrench the status quo. ๐Ÿ™‚ – Yup! โค

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