ME A FRUSTRATED CAGED MONEY

Thanks so much, George – glad you like the artwork. Actually, I have a caged monkey down in the basement! He does all the art . . . I just tell him: “Bombo, paint, Bombo, brush, Bombo, brush!” IF he acquiesces to my requests, I get some paintings . . . and Bombo gets bananas! I have the artwork framed . . . and . . . the rest is history. Monkeys are really pretty talented, IF they are motivated to work! Kind of like Italian women! Speaking of Italian, I was going to do a karaoke version of “Ave Maria” by Franz Schubert for karaoke at the local bar this evening. IF you can reach Allyson, to have her come record it, I would be SO appreciative! Of course . . .she WILL NOT come . . . because she is mean!

I’m just kidding, George! (1) Allyson is actually VERY NICE; (2) There is NO Bombo; and (3) Italian women are perfect – everyone knows that! However, I AM going to try to do the karaoke version of “Ave Maria,” IF they will let me . . . AND . . . hopefully, George Michael’s song “I Want Your Sex!” I thought it would create a nice balance. Of course, I think life is really all about balance. It is like the famous Zen Master Suzuki Roshi would tell devotees, after they completed an especially difficult, yet enlightening meditation experience: “Now, scumbags, go clean the toilets!” When Roshi told ME that, I kicked him in the groin and said: “I quit!” He said: “It’s about time, you stupid American – you should have quit months ago . . . you are just so stupid . . . anyone could tell that you were teaching me more than I was teaching you . . . and vice-versa, whatever the heck that means!” I humbly prostrated to The Master . . . and gave him a karate punch to his balls really hard. The bastard never even flinched . . .he just smiled . . . and said: “Your punch is weak! You need more training!” I stayed a couple more days . . .and left, after leaving itching powder on the tips of the nails in his bed! I got a letter bomb, sent to me several months later. Surprise, Roshi! The letter was sent to a post office box, belonging to my ex-wife! 🙂

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